The KonMarie method

Igamogam

DawnW wrote: »

This seems to avoid the random gift sets / clutter type presents that I used to get, as it is fine to drop hints as to what you want (new slippers last year, in my case ) and for my grown up children it saves them the time, hassle and expense of buying for everyone.

Not for everyone perhaps, but an idea that MIGHT work for other families?

We stopped buying birthday and Christmas presents for all 'peripheral' members of the family when our children were quite young. We where very honest about it. Family members where told we would no longer be buying presents because we could not afford it - OH family very big and mine small but flung across the world. They were told if they wanted to buy gifts for our 2 children then it was on the understanding there would be no return gift 'out of obligation' My family OK with it......some of OHs family havent spoken to us since:eek: It came about when we did not attend the second wedding of BIL third wife son! We sent our apologies a card an NO GIFT from the L!bertys wedding list......well no gift at all. What do you buy someone who earns double our combined income at the time and has set up a very nice home with everything and more you could possible want??????!!!!! Anyway long story short when we got the angry letter from SIL we decided there and then gift buying was to come to an end other than for our own children. We don not buy each other birthday or Christmas presents - well OH has a challenge every Christmas to buy me an interesting ball of string, which is used in the garden and I usually get him some chocolate - he loves the very high cocoa solid type.

I am like you DawnW - if someone wants to buy me something, I would be happy for something that I need or would find useful. I do take part in 2 secret santas - one amongst my closest circle of female friends ( always has to be something HM and preferably edible!!) and another with my book group ( literary themed, based on books we have read in the year) which most of my closest friends belong to too:rotfl:

VJsmum

I am also a December birthday

I usually get vouchers for nice clothes shops, which I spend throughout the year or luxury shower gel or such like.

MiL has come up with some random Carp in the past (ungrateful I know ) but now goes with the voucher thing when I said how much I appreciate having it to spend later in the year.

maria3104

DawnW wrote: »

If anyone asks what I would like for a gift (if nothing is not an acceptable answer, that is ) I ask for things that get used up, rather than 'stuff'. I mean things like wine (specific types), foody things, flowers or an indoor plant, or alternatively, something that I need replaced (new slippers for Christmas last year). I am very lucky, I have everything I want, and don't need more.

One of my daughters came up with an idea a couple of Christmases ago, that we do as a family a 'secret santa' whereby all the adults'names are put in a dish and we each draw one out, buying a present for just that person. Children continue to get presents from everyone as before The others seized on this immediately, but I was a bit uncomfortable with it at first, because it felt strange not to buy all of my children a present. However, they all insisted, and so that is what we do I make up for it by giving them nice Birthday presents (which might be money towards something big that they need / want).

This seems to avoid the random gift sets / clutter type presents that I used to get, as it is fine to drop hints as to what you want (new slippers last year, in my case ) and for my grown up children it saves them the time, hassle and expense of buying for everyone.

Not for everyone perhaps, but an idea that MIGHT work for other families?

We did this last year and it was screamingly funny. Some of us older ones either really did not understand the word secret... or did and pretended not too. so we all knew who was out Secret santa, it was so funny listening to the young ones talking about dementia etc! This year we are doing it again, but properly. I am looking forward to it. We also have a £15 present limit so no one gets outfaced with xmas costs. We are excluding anyone under 18.

Interesting kondo day. Have used up a 10 year old tin of wood preserve to paint the chicken and duck sheds.
3 bin bags to go out of normal household rubbish. Where does it come from?
Have washed car saving £8 and using up old car shampoo stuff. Free.

Put 2 old tops heavily stained into bin.

~Yesterday cleaned windows, using new £15 steps but saving £60 on window cleaner. Used vinegar and fairy liquid.no newspaper in house so they air dried a bit streaky but good enough!

Lots more to do. Am having a rest now before worming chucks organically and demiting their sheds.
Ha:beer:ve fun

Maria

Goodintentions

Thanks for the birthday wishes
I KNEW you guys would understand!
We have suggested a secret Santa the last couple of years, but my inlaws are not keen. It it my DH's family that is the problem They feel they have to spend £25-40 per person!!! Which then puts the pressure on us. I desperately need new slippers (I work from home, so they are often double up as work shoes!), but the last time I got some from BIL I didn't really like them - my feet kept slipping sideways in them, and I dubbed them 'death slippers' as I am s:oure they were trying to finish me off!! (The slippers, not the inlaws!!)

My mum has heard me, I think. She told me the other day that my present has been ordered and would arrive shortly. I did not know what to expect, as my mums favourite saying is (as she palms off some of her junk!) "I thought this may be of use to you" However, this week I received a years membership to the RHS, which I used on Wednesday to take one of my mindees to a pre-school session at our local RHS gardens That saved me £9.85 (on this occasion - more to come!) Yay mummy!

God, I sound an ungrateful, miserable moo!! I am not really
It is good to have somewhere to vent though!

I really need to get up & get busy! I have a table full of credit card statements that need shredding!

GreyQueen

I have an autumn birthday. Aunt and uncle asked what I wanted one year and I said manure. I got a set of toiletries. I flipping hate toiletries. Another year, they gave me some cash and I put it towards having 5 tonnes of manure delivered onto my allotment by a farmer with tractor and tipper trailer. Fantastic, made me very happy.:beer:

I don't really like receiving gifts and I try to only give ones of the consumable nature. For family, it's mostly books, as we're all avid readers, with the repeated instruction to sell/ donate them afterwards. It works for us, esp as there's an online bookseller in the family!

Was visiting family yesterday and auntie gave me something she didn't want which she'd just won at a draw prize in their village. I think it had circulated around too many coffee morning raffles to be seen again, so she gave it to me with the instruction that it could be given away if I liked. It went straight into a bag which was part of the 8 donated that day.

Today, we are bumbling around at the family homestead and enjoying some quiet time, apart from the washing machine, which is slaving away. We've also played hairdressers, as I cut my own bar having the back clippered, and Mum cuts the menfolks' hair. I did offer to cut Mum's but she prefers to go to the hairdressers'. You can call us Shaun, Sean and Shorn.

I've got me own thinning scissors and everything.

katsu

Currently going through the kitchen drawers. Am at the stage of taking in the hoover and was looking for containers and I just realised I wasn't consciously thinking about joy at all (slotted spoon necessary, multiple spoons not), but had just put out a pile of things for the CS that were duplicates or no longer used. We've only been in the house 10 years but we've clearly had several changes of lifestyle.

So I'm happy that I've got things I don't need any more, neatly drying in the dish rack, but I now think I need to go back and see if the retained items bring joy. I'm not sure how joyous graters, peelers etc can be. Did anyone else find that practical items might not all be joyous? I don't want to throw out an adequate potato peeler and spend more money hunting a joyous one!

I do have an unjoyful peeler which is definitely leaving mind!

Susan1962

Interesting note about the presents. I love my friends to bits but they tend to get me toiletry sets. I used to keep them all and desperately try to use them up, which never worked as often they were scents I didn't like or had lanolin in (allergic). Anyway a couple of years ago I made an executive decision - if I can't use it quickly it's put in the present drawer for re-gifting (my friends are all scattered across the country and don't really know each other) and if I know that no-one else will like it then I dismantle them and take out the bits I can use and donate the rest, or pop the odd item in as a minding at Christmas. For a couple of years one friend gave me Amazon vouchers, which I raved about as they're ideal - I love my Kindle but am too mean (erm frugal?) to buy brand new stuff by authors I like. Much nicer than being given a book I'm lukewarm about and have to try to sell or pass on.

jinny

I've just been called a miserable so and so by a newish neighbour.
She got on to the subject of Christmas and sending cards to neighbours. Yes I know in July!!
I said well I may warn you I don't send them to anyone even family or friends. I stopped the pointless (in my eyes) practise years ago. I give homemade gifts and throw money at my sons. I stopped sending birthday cards as well. I know it's radical and not for everyone but I'm just not into that I don't get any now by request either.
I used to give a communal card at work with a receipt for a charity donation stuck inside.
Most people loved that idea and we adopted a charity every year to donate in lieu of cards.
You have to brace yourself for being accused of being a tightwad...who cares. I've been accused of worse.

maryb

DundeeDoll wrote: »

An inspiring thread. Reminds me of William Morris 'If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.' we have the builders in at the mo so definitely a good time to start. Hmmm wonder if I can get through the whole house by xmas

We have builders in our house as well. I'm hoping they are useful 'cos they sure ain't beautiful:rotfl:

Goodintentions

Well! Do I feel bad now?!
I have opened my presents from DD2,DS, SIL, MIL & DH - all presents that I have asked for (useful, or saves me buying them), some consumables (sweets, candles), vouchers. Also, DH HAS GOT 2 tickets for Stomp next weekend & a night in a hotel

I think the message has got through I am a happy bunny!
I am off to see my mum now, and then we are going out for some dinner later.
Have a good day everyone!