The KonMarie method

in_need_of_direction

I'd thought there was little done over the weekend but two bags are en route to recycling centre this morning. Yay.

mrs-moneypenny

Morning all
Hope everyone had a great weekend
greyqueen I can't and won't berate you on the additional wool that has found its way into your home as I know the pleasure it will bring you.
Not really kondoed much over the weekend In fact Father's Day has brought some gifts and a huge chocolate cake into the house, then neighbours knocked with cake from their DDs wedding on Saturday. Ironically Dh who is always exercising commented at the boot he'd seen someone selling a beach body programme called slim in 6. I've been toying with the idea of doing more exercise as I've not been on the wifi since before Christmas and felt some extra weight had been added to me thT could do with being kondoed. Back to the point, lady said her mum had bought it but never bothered using it she offered it me for £1.50 so I bought it, got home and the original invoice is in the box £66.79!!! Everything is still sealed, I will start today and see what can be kondoed from my body at the end of the programme, wish me luck.

BTW, had a conversation with Dh over the weekend, eye his dad's stuff, he got on about the broken mower and said he's still struggling to agree to let it go because it was his dad's and he's still annoyed it got broke. I talked to him about a very dear old friend I'd lost ( who he knew so knows what she meant to me) I reminded him of the beautiful blue glass brandy glass she bought me one Christmas and the pottery mobile with cows hanging on she got when our eldest was born, the brandy glass had its stem snapped when the children were little which he glue but it kept breaking, and the cow mobile had a couple of cows break when it fell down one day. I kept them for a while But whenever I looked at the boxes they wee in I was reminded of the sadness I felt when they were broken rather than the happy memories of my friend. I has since let both times go and feel much better and now think only of the friendship we shared and the support she gave me as I was growing up. Dh said this really helped as when he opens the shed and sees the mower his first feeling is the anger he felt when he found out it had been broken when he lent it to someone. I'll leave it with him now to decide when he's ready.
Have a good day all, I'm off to start my first exercise 'class'

mavvymoo

Raining here today but will not let it spoil my joy :mad:

So after the awful jacket episode on Saturday and (I think) Him being quite upset as I was laughing at the jacket for ages:o
We went though his clothes yesterday and I am pleased to say 1 full bin bag kondo'd and out the door.

I still cant believe what he kept but hey ho I am getting there.:)
Stuff with holes have been kept I was saying but this has a hole in it why are you keeping it ? Oh its ok for work or its ok for the gardening. But you have much better things to wear. Oh no thats too good for gardening :mad: Do you feel joyful when you hold or look at it ? No but its handy to keep !

Then I thought I was like this before KM. :huh: So I cant expect anything more really but have defo made progress

I know loads of you are having the same so makes me feel slightly better :rotfl:I am not alone in my quest.

Mrs Mp I found the same with things like that it made me sad to see them. So I did the same and kept what I found brought joyful memories not what didnt.
I really hope your DH can make the right choice for the lawnmower.

Mav x

ivyleaf

(((HUGS))) mrs-moneypenny. I hope your DH will feel able to let the mower go very soon

MMF007 I think a lot of people find it hard letting go of things which "cost us good money" even when not needed any more. Is the mirror somewhere where you have to keep walking around it, into the bargain?

My lovely OH is good at buying stuff from catalogues because they'll "come in handy"; they then sit around in my way for months or years. He recently bought one of those garden storage boxes with a sloping lid, because our little lean-to shed isn't really big enough (there would be more room in it if he were to unpack and use the fake wooden lawn edging he bought last year).

It can't currently go where he wants to put it because there are 5 old radiators in the way, which are so heavy that we can't work out how to get rid of them atm, so it's in its box in the hall, leaning against the new radiator that's meant to be in the box room but can't be installed atm as there's too much carp in the way.

Then there's the chain saw he bought at liddly and I won't let him use unless he does a course in how to use it safely - and in any case, he bought it to attack a hedge, which was eventually sorted ou by a tree surgeon anyway. That's leaning against one of the dining chairs atm. The chain saw, not the tree surgeon.

And breathe....

katsu

MMF007 wrote: »

i am also battling my OH when it comes to getting rid of unjoyful and unneeded things. While he did eventually comment favourably on the kitchen cupboards he came in today, immediately quizzed me about 'where all the stuff had gone from on the stairhead', started rummaging through the charity bag and taking stuff out:(

I had, until very recently, blamed myself for having too much stuff and keeping
stuff that no longer had a purpose for me but looking around today I realise that
a lot of the clutter is not mine........:( I suppose all i can do is go through my clothes, books, craft stuff and household komono and hope (capital H maybe??!) that it will catch on. Any suggestions on how to encourage disposal, with thanks of course of 8 large volumes of hardback repro comic books, a large model
boat, a pile of footie programmes, a chainsaw (in the LR at the mo due to lack of a shed), 2 rucksacks, a mirror we replaced but which he will not let go 'because it cost us £50' years ago ???

Can you talk to him about whether there are any things he feels can be donated to charity/sold on eBay to make space to store these other things? You can maybe say you liked the idea of the mirror being used so is there somewhere in the house where you both would like to put it and, if not, what would he like to do with it instead?

Marie is very clear that we have to sort out own stuff out first so other then trying to involve him in making space for important items I think all you can do is sort out your stuff and the household items he is unlikely to be attached to. I'm leaving DHs hobbies alone but talking to him about eg clearing out his clothes but only in a focused way eg "can you please review your trousers to see what ones you don't want to keep, don't like or no longer fit you? I've put them all in a neat stack on your side of the bed". I then left them there for over a week and just talked about my kondo efforts and occasionally asked if I could help with the trousers. I then kondo folded his keeping pairs into his drawer afterwards.

I'm now focussing on socks because he has an excess and knows it. I've collected his socks into two pillowcases, again by the bed, and have talked about how I took some of mine to the homeless shelter and I plan to take more. After a couple of weeks of talking about owning too many I've only then put the pillowcases out and suggested we sort the contents into types so he can more easily review them.

mrs-moneypenny

It's difficult for us because once the 'scales have been lifted' from our eyes and we see possessions as just that I think we are in danger of forgetting how difficult it was too let go pre-Kondo.
There are some things that bring me emmense joy that others wouldn't perhaps understand.
Before he died my dear father inlaw gave eldest Ds a cream dinner jacket, when he was about to attend his prom. DS tends to pick this jacket as the one he wears on special occasions, I have a lovely joyful photo of him in it when he was awarded "young person of the year" by our local council a few years ago. When I see DS wearing said dinner jacket my main thought is how proud his grandpa would have been of how he's turned out. It's almost feels like including him in the occasion.

mavvymoo

Thinking about what Mrs Moneypenny said about broken things that mean a lot to you I was thinking about a tree my Mum brought me

My Mum had dementia and the last thing she chose herself to buy me was a tree
I remember the day as if it was yesterday (about 11 years ago now)

Her friend had taken her out for coffee at a garden centre and she wanted to buy me a tree.
They turned up at mine with this tree sticking out of the sun roof of Mums friends Mini metro with Mum and her friend who was a very large lady squashed in some how :rotfl:

Her friend said to me I am so sorry I tried to get her to get you something smaller but she was getting upset so I couldnt do anything to make her change her mind she wanted this one so that was that.

I couldnt get the tree out of the car on my own as it was wedged in somehow so I asked a man who passing to help which he did and my Mums friends car was covered in earth when we finally managed to get it out of the car
I planted this tree and it started to die. I moved it about 3 times over the years willing it not to die. I cut it back and in the end it was about 2 foot tall. I used to look at it and think please dont die you are my special tree from Mum.

It looked so poorly but survived just each year.

At the start of this year I said to my husband I cant keep worrying about Mums tree as its making me so sad just looking at it.In the Spring we will have to dig it out as I cant stand the stress of it all.

Started KM and forgot about the tree and guess what the tree is doing so well and looks fantastic this year It is still only about 4 ft tall but its a deep rich Red and stands out even if it is tiny compared to all the other trees which have been in about 5 years

But if it hadnt started to improve I would have dug it out as it really brought me sadness everytime I looked at it.
But now its bringing so much joy and I just thought I would share that now happy memory with you all.

So Mums tree as we always call it has turned a corner and a bit of a woo moment for me

Mav x

Samfisher1980

Following this. Very interesting thrread

mrs-moneypenny

Mavvy, I'm so pleased that your mums tree is flourishing now.

Hollyboll

Peeks head above the parapet (rut of clutter) … first post so be gentle …

So for years I’ve described myself as a huge MSE fan and recommended the site to loads of people … consulted articles when doing a big spend, used the occasional tool and cast an eye over the weekly mail. But it was only a few weeks ago mid some idle hours that I really looked around the boards. WOW. So much of interest and inspiration … lot of things took my interest and my fancy, but all too much for me to tackle at the mo. And then I saw high up the OS, this thread and wondered what is this Kon Marie of which it speaks … Simply really for idle curiosity I started reading and then googling, and now wonder how I could have missed the MK thing over the last months / year.

Over the last couple of weeks I have read the book, and your thread (approaching 5000 posts – I am Excellent at Procrastinating ☺) … and loads on t’interweb about this. SO much of it really resonates with me … I live by myself, in a small flat (LOVE GQ’s I have to pop out to change my mind!), which has got to the state of Stuff and UFOs (I’ve learned a whole new vocab on this thread) that crossing a room is an obstacle course and certainly nowhere to swing a mouse, let alone room for new stuff. Mini obstacle courses become so familiar that subconscious over the years, but it’s become increasingly obvious to me over the last few months that it’s weighing me down (as someone wisely said here you have to be able to see out of the rut to get out of it …). I was very sick this winter which both meant it got worse and I’m sure at some level it didn’t help very slow recovery being in it. Appreciate the challenges others have with OHs / DCs around the place and I’m lucky that this is all My Stuff … but it also means it can get into a state I’d not let anyone else see (My 2 furballs do not express judgement, although they do occasionally look with disdain at the stuff in their way!).

What a great thread (thanks OP). I’ve got so much inspiration from y’all – special mention for Jinny, ‘the Queens’ (I and Grey), Mav, cpt, moneypenny, bluedoggy, clutterfree, and and …. SOOOO many sorry not to name everyone. Even the ‘wooo’ bits make utmost sense to me. Over last few weeks of reading I’ve: samosa’d my carriers (horrendous snowstorm as someone described early on – was going to take a pic but decided I didn’t need any reminder of such low point, and anyway probably too newbie to post), burrito’d my duvet, ‘done’ my undies and tea drawer (separately, not together!!!), got bags going for rags, pensforkids, smallsforall (great ideas from this thread), generated 2 bags for CS, and started a mountain of possibly handy storage things.

You are all a fab and inspirational lot, and I decided to be Brave and deLurk just to say so and to see if I can join in pretty please …??

That’s the good news. But … Help! I’ve also though taken all the boxes and piles of UFO’s out of their hidey places (or edges of rooms) and realise that for years I’ve kind of swung between stuffing them to the side, which means the weight of the carp is overwhelming, and stuffing them to the side which means it’s just as bad although out of sight(ish) and I think a big mental energy drain keeping it out of sight(ish). So now I’m at the stage of which so many others have spoken – worse to get better … I am determined though, I lost my job a few months ago and have just got a new one, and have 2 weeks before it starts. I think if I could get on top of some physical space it would be a much much better mental place to enter and make a new phase. I was encouraged by lots of you early on saying you wished work didn’t get in the way of kondo’ing, although recently seems to have gone the other way, too many decisions without a break too much.

So, enough blathering. I tried to make a Real Start this weekend. For some reason the kitchen has been shouting to me but decided MK made so much sense I should start with clothes (my real challenge and the hugest part of the carp is papers) and do it in her order. So I tried Tops – all about small categories / bites of the elephant. And to my real surprise I really struggled – 2 things in particular:
- I really really didn’t get the joy spark / body reacting to things … whilst I was probably a bit more ruthless than Ive been when I’ve tried to declutter before, and whilst it all looks a lot more beauteous in drawers rather than shelf, I’m disappointed not to have ‘got’ this and not sure if it’s just nothing brings me real joy (but as others have said I can’t get rid of entire wardrobe) or if I’m missing something … did anyone else find this???
- the folding thing took me forever. Whilst I LOVE being able to see everything now and can absolutely see fewer creases this way, I won’t sustain if it doesn’t speed up. Does it??

I’m now going to shelve (geddit?!) the clothes and get on with kitchen, which I think MK would condone as it’s been telling me too over the last few weeks. Was completely taken with the post a while ago about keeping recipe books because one ‘Ought’ and had worked out already that much of my kitchen stuff (including glasses ☺) comes within that for me. So time to tackle. I’m determined to do a Jinny and empty first … after MUCH thought have managed to clear a small table which I will move (meaning the papers stacked underneath will avalanche, but another day) to the kitchen door to solve having to put everything on the floor which would not work for me – too much bending! Even before my disappointing weekend I had realised little in the kitchen will bring me joy (it’s pretty functional for me) … so anyone got tips for decisions there? I read somewhere about ‘LOST or STOLEN’ – would I replace it? - which I like … duplicates / broken etc … any others???

After a quick cuppa to recover from ludicrously long intro post (you’ll all need something stronger if you’ve managed to read!), I’ve got some calls to make, and then rainy Monday perfect for kitchen Kondo … top tips or virtual vibes much appreciated ….