The KonMarie method

Hollyboll

ps … can't remember who or where and stupidly struggling with search, but for those looking to get rid of hangers … I've found freeeecycle very good for this over the years - previous life had lots of dry cleaning and they used to mount up. Posted a bag one day on the off chance, and found them snapped up … lots of home businesses / theatre groups love them … hth

mrs-moneypenny

Welcome hollyboll,
I'm just off to kondo a few products in the shower and head off to work.
Just started raining here, so weather forecast was as unreliable as ever.

dragonette

Hi Hollyboll, from another lurker I'm not following the pattern exactly either, and it can get a bit chaotic but things will get better! I got a friend to come over to help with the paperwork to make it more manageable - if you have lots that needs shredded, they can empty the shredder and and put it straight out to the recycling bin for you too

For the kitchen, i found a lot can go to a CS, and some charities which help people set up homes after homelessness or escaping domestic abuse or help refugees etc can also use spare pots/pans/jugs/bowls etc.

If I think of anything else I've learned in practice, I'll post again later. But lots of tips from others on this thread have helped me hugely, even if I can't follow many due to health issues

Hollyboll

Thanks Mrs-M and Dragonette … lovely welcomes.
And thanks for the encouragement Dragonette - I have contemplated asking someone to come and help but at the mo am too embarrassed. Paperwork going to be heinous … need to get some momentum first as reckon that's really the core of the prob here. My shredder has a can of WD40 beside it (thanks to this thread) and doing overtime even before I've started the category

dragonette

The other thread I've found incredibly useful is the hoarders thread here on the OS board. I feel very at home, and is a wonderfully understanding place.

Sending positive vibes for your kondoing/dehoarding - I'll be joining you in spirit as my place feels like a tip!

iQueen

mrs-moneypenny wrote: »

I've been toying with the idea of doing more exercise as I've not been on the wifi since before Christmas and felt some extra weight had been added to me thT could do with being kondoed.

I will start today and see what can be kondoed from my body at the end of the programme, wish me luck.

But whenever I looked at the boxes they wee in I was reminded of the sadness I felt when they were broken rather than the happy memories of my friend. I has since let both times go and feel much better

I'm 'allergic' to exercise and always have been! :rotfl: So I was delighted to find that exercise is not necessary (although it can help) on a low-carb diet. It has kept me healthy and my weight stable for over 10 years.

katsu wrote: »

Marie is very clear that we have to sort out own stuff out first so other then trying to involve him in making space for important items I think all you can do is sort out your stuff and the household items he is unlikely to be attached to.

When you think about it, perhaps MK's list needs tweaking for men.

She starts with clothes, because they are all in (roughly) one place and they are easier (for women, usually) to make decisions about. IME, men are not so interested in clothes, so maybe another category would get them started?

On another thread, men seemed to get kondoing when books or CDs/DVDs and electronic komono , were tackled.

mavvymoo wrote: »

...my special tree from Mum.

It looked so poorly but survived just each year.

Started KM and forgot about the tree and guess what the tree is doing so well and looks fantastic this year

But if it hadnt started to improve I would have dug it out as it really brought me sadness everytime I looked at it.
But now its bringing so much joy and I just thought I would share that now happy memory with you all.

So Mums tree as we always call it has turned a corner and a bit of a woo moment for me

Mav x

Sometimes it is a good idea to keep some sentimental things, even if they do make us sad to see them.

I'm not talking about things that have broken beyond redemption; rather, things which used to bring us happiness, but, due to changed circumstances now, don't.

I have some of these things. I have stored them away, hopefully temporarily, because situations change, people change, and I'm changing. And 'Mum's Tree' has survived, thrived, and revived the original joy!

iQueen

dragonette wrote: »

The other thread I've found incredibly useful is the hoarders thread here on the OS board. I feel very at home, and is a wonderfully understanding place.

Sending positive vibes for your kondoing/dehoarding - I'll be joining you in spirit as my place feels like a tip!

Welcome, Hollyboll and dragonette! Don't worry, we are so full of joy on this thread that we are always gentle! :coffee::coffee:

From what I've read on this and other Kondo threads, many women do, or do part of, the kitchen, early on. Perhaps we spend as much time in there as our clothes? :rotfl:

I have used hoarder forums, but gave up the one i followed religiously for a year, at Christmas. I haven't looked at the MSE one, but I found that hoarding boards, while being incredibly understanding about the problems, were quite unhelpful in other ways.

First, they start from the point of view accepting that hoarding is 'abnormal', which boosts the guilt and decreases self-esteem, confirming the label 'inadequate'. MK makes no judgment.

Second, I have never read of anyone, on those fora, successfully de-cluttering.

Third, posters often bolster each others' lack of success, with kind, understanding excuses.

The great thing about this thread is: there's no judgment/guilt, we get ridiculously joyful about even minor successes (after knickers and socks!), we are continually, positively supporting each other, we are all dedicated Konverts to the Kult, and excited by the woo changes we identify in ourselves. :j

There appear to be several people on here who could be branded as hoarders (me included), along with several lovely people who still post even though they have finished kondoing. And we have a lot of laughs!

It will take us longer, with so much cluttered excess, to complete our project, and it does take a while to start seeing real changes in the state of our homes. I started at New Year and I am not excpecting to finish (ie a clearer home) until at least Christmas. But the clutter noise becomes less tolerable and you may find that that leads to impulse discards, like me - I see it, can't stand it, out it goes! :T

Do also, 'thank' stuff for its service or the joy it brought in the past - it actually gives us 'permission' to discard it. I am always thanking my 19 year-old car, genuinely, out loud... it got through its MOT a fortnight ago with minimal repairs! I was astounded!

The key is to maintain the JOY. Every time I leave the house, I get a thrill of joy as the front door nearly opens fully, after re-homing a big box of tiles which had taken root for over 5 years. :eek: The paint is chipped, but I washed it down, and my joy is unbounded each time I open it!

Best wishes to all fellow 'hoarders' - we CAN do it; we WILL do it! But 'miracles take a little longer'! :rotfl:

ps thanks for my today's laugh - the avalanche of papers under the table - I can identify with that and had my own avalanche this morning, when I rushed to answer the phone!:dance:

oceanspirit

Welcome to all the newcomers. This is a journey and it doesn't matter how long it takes - I'm a plodder due to poor health, but plodding is better than nothing at all. And I agree with Dragonette that phoning a friend is a good strategy, particularly for emptying shredder! In my case, just having someone in the house even if they're not actually joining in with what I am doing helps me to focus on what seems to me an overwhelming task. Things are leaving my home in dribs and drabs and one day it will suddenly look fabulously clear and more like a home than a dumping ground but at the moment there is mess everywhere whilst I sort through it all.

Having to deal with emotional issues at the moment which appear to have come from nowhere, but I wonder if it is Kondoing which is bringing these things to the fore? I've had to make some difficult decisions regarding a couple of items which had bad memories attached, one of which was a painting by my late uncle. I was keeping it because it was the only thing I had to remember him by except a couple of photos but the subject matter was bringing me unhappy and unwelcome feelings. It felt wrong to destroy it because my uncle had invested time and effort creating it, but too personal to pass on to anyone else because of the subject matter. In the end it left my home with a friend and I haven't asked what he did with it because I don't want to know. The important thing is that I have let it go and I'm glad that it has gone.

So, to report ongoing progress. A pair of undies went in the bin on Saturday as the elastic has now gone. I am up to date with quarterly membership magazines now, yippee. Now catching up with Trade magazines with only 2 more to go (need to keep up to date for when I am well enough to get stuck in again). Once these have gone I can tackle the "random bits of paper" pile which is in my living room and has been moving from there to kitchen to office and around the circuit again many times for at least 4 years.

A pair of curtains which were given to me by a friend of a friend have gone because although they are very good quality and a nice enough colour and would do the job, they don't make my heart sing so have been sent off to a CS this morning.

So this week will be continuing with reducing the reading pile and continuing with working through my to do list that I've been constantly behind on for nearly a decade.


ETA: Enjoying using up older herbs and spices in kitchen storecupboard. Have banned myself from buying any new/replacements until the old ones have gone.

dragonette

The hoarding threads on here do have success stories, and yes they are very accepting of the difficulties but also suggest ways to get round things.

Different things help different people, it all depends on the person and the reasons for the "stuff"

Blue_Doggy

Hi All, and welcome Hollyboll and Dragonette!

It's amazing what a difference removing a few bits of furniture has made! I was able to wash the hall walls for the first time in ages (think wet hairy dogs shaking themselves every time they come back from walks, in spite of towels). The house smells of furniture polish as I was able to dust and polish a couple of items.

Mind you, the Room of Doom, into which I had moved the first half-dozen boxes of paperwork, is now inaccessible :eek: because the fan and bookshelf (and books!) from the landing had to be shoved in there so that Strong Young Man could move Big Old Chair from Bedroom-used-as-Library/Study. But now I can get to some more of the Library shelves I have already selected - oooh about a whole dozen of - books to go.

They'll still need to brew in my mind for a little while, as some were my Mum's, but they made her happy, and apart from the association with her, mean nothing to me.

To those who are having difficulty letting things go, the question "Does it spark Joy?" is key, and I think is the major difference between Marie Kondo and the rest of the declutterers. One thing I found when I was doing my clothes, and still find doing the books, is that I tend to dress my Fantasy Me (the Me in the lovely floaty romantic silk dresses - which the dogs' paws would ruin in a moment's joyful greeting - or even the suits which used to say "I am woman in a man's world, and have every right to be here!"). Once I could accept that I'm now the woman in jeans (mostly) and tops-suitable-for-life-with-dogs, I was able to say "goodbye" to Fantasy Me and, yes, thank her for accompanying me for part of my life; she went off happily with the pretty floaty clothes (which I seldom wore, some never ) and I hope she and they will help someone else along their path.

Now I have to come to terms with my Inner Scholar, which I won't go into at the mo as this is already a long post .