The KonMarie method

iQueen

Igamogam wrote: »

I know what you mean iQueen - trouble shared and all that......but for me I am as stubborn as they come and bl00dy minded when it comes to 'help' - My mess.I'll sort.Don't get in my way.........I am my own worst enemy:o

More burning and chucking going on but feel I need to concentrate a little more in one place - getting a bit kondo krazee:D

Have kondoed DD2 to our near neighbour 'up hill'. We are looking after their pampered cat whilst they are away so she has taken her revision and yoga mat to keep cat company and to get away from the chaos. I am hoping to have a LR with a clear floor, window sill coffee table and piano by the time she gets back:D

I feel the same way about people 'helping' with my clutter. What I meant was, that all the individuals in the family, (especially OHs), usually have their own nests of excessive clutter. Explaining the MK method, might motivate them to look at, and deal with, their own stuff. Many people on here, and other websites, have found that, initially sceptical OHs have slowly come on board about getting rid of excess stuff.

From what you say, I imagine your 'house-mates' already know better than to meddle with your clutter! :rotfl:

System

Ok, i admit, i dont follow the Kon Marie method though i feel that i am probably more minimalistic than that but certain aspects i can fit in with the Kon Marie method quite easily.

Ive gone through the house with a fine tooth comb for things we no longer like/want/need. This morning i spent going through paperwork when i came across a folder where i keep all our important documents, birth certificates, medical cards etc when i came across a small envelope.

Inside this envelope contains a number of name tags that was on my first daughters ankles and wrists after she was born. There was the wrist band that i had to wear when i was admitted to hospital several days before due to a complication. Also i kept the tag that was tied to her cot after she was born. The birth certificate i still have and a few treasured photos.

Now the problem i have. I dont know why, but the name tags dont fill me with joy when i see them. They remind me of illness and death. She died a few weeks after birth. Now her birth certificate and name tag on the cot makes me smile. They fill me with joy when i see them. The name tags and photos dont. Now i wouldnt dream of getting rid of the photos but as for the name tags.... i'm not so sure.

What do you think KonMarie would say?

yellowbear

Judi, I lost my son 10 years ago. I still have all his bits and pieces. They don't fill me with joy either, but I cannot bring myself to get rid of them.

I remember seeing one of those hoarder programmes a few years back. The woman on it was in the same situation. She was advised to get rid of her child's things. The 'professional' said they were no longer needed. They did a 'catch-up' at the end of the programme and the woman regretted getting rid. By then it was too late. She wished she had never done it.

I won't get rid of my son's things. They are as much a part of his life as the things that spark joy.

Much love to you, Judi. x

GreyQueen

I think that KM, as a youngish childless woman, wouldn't be the best person to advise you on this. By reading back over your post, I feel that you have answered your own questions. Keep the joyful items, and the photos, perhaps is a special folder or box, which you can re-visit when the need arises, and let the rest go.

I am at the parental homestead, a 40+ year experimental art project called How Much Stuff Can We Fit into A Small 3 Bedroom Terrace - and Three Sheds.:rotfl:

The answer is - and I guess you're not surprised - a surprising amount. I have been cruising over various surfaces and have had a lovely time samosa-ing placcy bags. They have been decluttered into my keeping, as I need something to put my donations into, but they'll take a lot less room when being transported back to my flat in samosa-form. One of the two family moggies gave me a very funny look as I did it, tho!

Have gathered together the various parts of a tent which will be offered on freegle in due course, that being when I can get it up to my city which won't be this trip. Have also found a pair of jeans bought from a jumbly without due care and attention - himself not liking button-fly jeans. Good nick, so will go to the chazzer, plus some old worn out and now de--buttoned clothes for ragging.

I'm rapidly filling up their recycling bin with stuff which should have been put there ages ago. There is a lot of kondo-need in this household but it isn't my homestead and I don't want to stress Mum. even she can see that there isn't any point in keeping 2013 newspapers and is reading a disintegrating paperback which will be chucked into recycling as soon as it's finished. No one knows who in a household of bookworms bought it, but its on its way to the waste transfer station.

Well, quick amble about the site then back to the fray. Keep at it, lovely peeps. GQ xx

System

I guess you only know how you feel if youve gone through it yourself.

I must admit, after 35 years i have let go of a few things but sense tells me i'd like all my reminders to be positive ones....Her name tag, hospital number and ward name (ITU) is hardly that.

I guess, like you, it would be a tad too far. However i'd still like to know what KonMarie would say about it.

PollyWollyDoodle

I think she says it - she comments on things that people have decided to keep which aren't obviously important such as broken toys

".. the immediate response to my hesitant 'Does this really spark joy' is an emphatic 'yes!' There is no arguing with their confident gaze ... "

I too think you've answered your own question; some of those items make you feel sad, and in that case why keep them? You're never going to forget that your daughter was born and lived (nor will you forget the sad times around that) and you don't need them to remind you. The other items make you feel happy - so keep them.

I should perhaps add that I don't have children, but I do believe we all have certain items that are important to us for triggering memories.

Edited to add: I've just found another page in the book "If you can say ... "I really like this!" ... then ignore what other people think. I can think of no greater happiness in life than to be surrounded only by the things I love. All you need to do is to get rid of anything that doesn't touch your heart like this."

maryb

PollyWollyDoodle wrote: »

It's so helpful to see everyone's updates on here, it keeps me going when I begin to flag - I still have a long way to go.

I really struggle with getting rid of paperwork but I have made good progress last night and this morning, too much for the woodburner so the shredder has been going. A quick question for you wise ones - I have several different pensions from various jobs over the years. Every year they send me a statement and (about six months later!) I religiously file the statement with all the others. Do I really need to keep them all - is it ok just to keep the last one? And do I need to keep the 'Handbook'/Pension Terms booklet?

They're definitely not sparking joy. My estimated pension gets less every year

My advice would be keep EVERYTHING related to pensions. Pension funds merge, get changed, administrators change etc and you end up in a situation where if you have any rights by virtue of having been a member at a particular time, that can get lost sight of. This happened to me and I had a single memo which set out the position which I had kept for 20 years and that was enough to prove that I had preserved rights. It will make a very significant difference to the amount of pension I eventually get.

My husband was an employee trustee of the pension fund where he worked and a lot of their work was deciding on disputes like this. (a big industrial group, lots of mergers/demergers/TUPE transfers over the years) Surprisingly often, even a newsletter was enough to swing the decision.

DH and I met at work so for part of our career we were members of the same pension scheme. So we get two copies of newsletters etc. I still keep everything. That way if one file gets lost, or something gets misfiled, we have the other copy

Parisian

Hi all, can I join?
I've been kondo-ing for the last month, and am still in the discarding phase. This weekend it's paperwork! Wow, is anyone else also finding it takes a really long time to go through everything?
My stuff is within two rooms, and it is taking a long long time. But, feeling more clear headed, present and looking forward to how reducing my stuff will make me more mobile

morganlefay

I am a hideous hoarder, and it's definitely got psychological reasons. Have just read The Book and love it, so am a very newbie Konmarie follower. Years ago, when I had more money than now , I paid someone to come and help me de clutter. We spent three days doing about half a stuffed spare room ( I am SO good at making a room look much emptier than it is) but she taught me one thing, which is exactly what Konmarie says. Hold something in your hands and just let what you feel about it tiptoe into your mind. I am about to start all over again, so hope that kind people on here will help with good advice and tips. Thank you in advance !

PollyWollyDoodle

Thanks, MaryB - I think on that basis I'll keep all the pension stuff but maybe store it in a box file somewhere as I don't need to access it regularly (yet).

Parisian, I started on paperwork this morning thinking that it would only take a couple of hours. I am wading through bits of shredded paper, just started my second recycling sack and I think I'll still be sorting stuff tonight. It is worth it though. A few weeks ago I was thinking that maybe I should buy a bigger filing cabinet. I still haven't decided quite where/how I am going to store what's left but if I keep the filing cabinet, it will only fill one drawer!