Taking control

crazy_cat_lady

Hi :hello:
Came over to post on your diary after your lovely words on mine.
Seems to me from looking through your diary you have the same issues as I do - using food, money or both as a comfort when things are getting tough. I still do it now but I have a couple of strategies to try and minimise the damage. One is that if I fancy spending money late at night, I fill my online baskets up with the intention of buying the next day if I still want it. Most times I don't and this has saved me a fortune.
As for the food, that's still my weakness although I have gotten better at that as well. I do a big batch cook on a Sunday, and use all of my leftovers. If my family don't like it then tough - they will have to feed themselves. I find if I have stuff that's easy to grab and go then I control my eating better but I still have a huge weakness for snacks...
Please don't be too hard on yourself. Focus on the good things you're doing rather than the not-so-good. Real life gets in the way of the best of plans. The main thing is never to give up trying. There's always a solution somewhere - not necessarily easy but there...

takingcontrolatlast

Thank you for taking the time to read my diary - means a lot as I know how busy you are

Yes you are quite right i do spend and eat when stressed - thanks for the tips on coping strategies - i think as regards money i'm hoping to use YNAB as my DD2 is letting me have her laptop (she is getting a new one for Xmas) and i can therefore down load it. I'm hoping that allocating each penny will focus me more and prepare me for the "not budgeted" things... such as dentist and then try and clear as much debt as possible next year.

As for eating... well i have no control :eek: i have got to sort this though.... definately in the New Year.

I do keep on trying but i cant help sometimes thinking "i could have done better" or "i shouldnt have done that!" .. and then kick myself..

I get by each month even though its very tough and feel constantly skint but its my own fault at the end of the day. ive reached the point now where I just dont want to live like this anymore (constantly juggling) ... so i'm taking positive steps to find solutions. Ive opened up a bit more to family but DH and I just dont see eye to eye financially .. or on anything really :rotfl:

crazy_cat_lady

We all have the 'bully voice' in our heads - telling us we're not quite good enough, shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that etc etc. You just need to tell it to shut up sometimes. I had CBT over a couple of years which was a complete life changer to me. I was listening to that voice and believing everything it said - my therapist asked me if I would say that to my best friend - and if I wouldn't say it to my best friend then I shouldn't say it to myself. I still have to remind myself every now and again but it's a fair point. Nobody else will be judging you as harshly as you're judging yourself. :rudolf: x

takingcontrolatlast

Hi,

I am quite critical of myself but I do like that thought process the CBT said... I'll try it .... although to be honest some decisions i make my BF has said to me how stupid i am :rotfl: .... but on a serious note i can see the point you are making and will take it on board.. thank you

I'm feeling quite good today - had a really productive day in work and had 8 hours UNDISTURBED sleep last night which really helped!

Household

Hole in roof and ceiling repairs completed today - now the smell of damp has gone and just the lovely smell of my Y*nkee candle - painting and decorating needs to be done but that can wait till after xmas as no cashflow for it.

Xmas tree and decorations are up - thanks to DD1 and house is feeling more festive.

I seem to have a lot of washing even though it gets done daily. Aim to get on top of this, this weekend.

Health

Will focus in the New Year on this... no point now :rotfl:

Finance

Well, still skint...got about £3 in purse and changed a £1 to have £10 of 20ps which I will take to the bank tomorrow. Food is already budgeted for. Got a "spendy" week ahead of me next week and i'm dreading it.

Its mums bday, buffet in work, hair cut booked and works night out on the Friday :eek:

To get through it with no cash the plan is...

Mums bday, buffet in work and hair cut I aim to cut back on the food to pay for these. The works night out next week is paid for (including wine on the table - present from my boss) and DH should take and pick me up fingers crossed but I would still like to have cash to take out with me for emergency. Again this emergency cash will have to come out of next weeks food budget but I plan not to spend it and return it. Thank goodness I have food already in freezer which i am using as it needs defrosting.

This is what i hate about being in debt - all the robbing peter to pay paul... but in the words of ynab ... roll with it.:eek:

Speaking of which (YNAB)... i'm still reading up on it. I dont seem to be able to listen to the classes as im obviously doing something wrong on the pc ... but im finding tips on You T*be so im just trying to work out when is the best time to download 31 days free trial and if i like it i would then have to purchase it... so I really need to downloan it towards the end of December which will run out ready for Jan's pay. But I have to admit I cant wait to trial it... I feel like its going to be the answer to my prayers :rotfl:

A colleague told me today that she is debt free for the first time ever in her life... my eyes teared up for her! I was so happy for her and her family. She has just had hard knocks in her life and carried on living within her means, released some cash and became debt free and just has to concentrate on her mortgage now.

I can only dream i will be in that position until I sort this debt out.

Im feeling pretty frustrated in that i still need to do xmas shopping and waiting for pay day - never again !:mad:

Im still putting £1 away in my jar for xmas 2016 challenge - odds and ends from lying around the house and whatever DH leaves lying around!

The gym is ringing my phone but I'm just not answering it as i cant pay it yet. CC is also writing to me but I will bring that hopefully up to date next pay day.

x

takingcontrolatlast

Just a quick update,

Mums bday today and managed to get her a lovely jumper from Tesco. I also bought the buffet donation from Tesco for Wednesday. I didnt manage to get the bank with the 20p so they are still in my bag. I will dip into them this week - need to give to charity as not sending xmas cards.

Had a free lunch in work today - so today's dinner can be eaten tomorrow.

Got enough food in freezer to keep going till Friday when shopping is done again (not the big xmas shop i hasten to add).

Finishing xmas shopping on monday (pay day) - never again will i leave it this late - ive had to book a day off work :mad:

I bought a hair dye and my niece is cutting it midweek

Im planning on down loading free trial of YNAB at the weekend - cant wait :j

takingcontrolatlast

thank you FS - appreciate you keep checking in on me ..best wishes and merry xmas :A

takingcontrolatlast

Its been a busy week but I managed to get through it with pennies!

The works night out didnt cost me as it was a gift from my boss but i dont feel comfortable not buying drinks (wouldnt let me) and DH dropped me off and picked me up - i was actually home by 11.30!

This weekend i defrosted my freezer, cleaned up and wrapped a few presents for my friend and her family who visited this morning.

I'm so frustrated that I cant download YNAB - my pc is not compatible :mad:

I was really looking forward to getting to grips with it and now I will have to look at another alternative - dont even know if this pc has excel!!! It may be good old fashioned book-keeping!

Tomorrow is the day i finish my xmas shopping and i'm dreading it!! So today I need to compile a list - hopefully i can have lunch with my daughters as they too are xmas shopping

takingcontrolatlast

What a day!

Household

Looks festive but doesnt feel festive - DH and myself are not getting on - its going to be a sad xmas as we have had 3 deaths in the family since July this year and tbh i cant wait till its over

Finances

Well, after the drama of not being able to download YNAB, i completed a pen and paper budget - which i havent really stuck too as i have been xmas shopping! Its all done finally ... just the last of the wrapping!

I managed to bring my cc account back in line so they will be off my back now and i have reset the direct debit for end of jan. I'm not going to be able to sort gym out so they will be chasing me for another month - yikes!

I'm so annoyed with John L*wis as I ordered on line and they took the payment twice - i have rang my bank, customer services at JL and the manager wouldnt come the phone - they said they only took one payment and I said my pending transactions are showing 2 payments !! I have to pay bills and they shouldnt have taken it twice !! I hope they give me it back asap!

I still have to pay dd and bills but it feels so nice having money in my bank. I cant wait till i can be debt free and not have to worry. Come next week i will be struggling again to get through the month and I know there is planned meal out at work twice and DH bday!

takingcontrolatlast

I was in work Xmas Eve then came home and continued wrapping then visited family, then came home and continued wrapping - got to bed after midnight without stopping!

I'm definately not doing another xmas like it again - basically it was bad planning both financially and organisationally ... lesson learned !

Xmas Day was nice .. thankfully i didnt have to cook as I was totally exhausted.

Chilled all day Boxing Day by watching movies...bliss!

Today is another quiet day but going to friends tonight with DH as she is cooking a meal for us - how lovely - i'm really looking forward to it... thankfully DH and I are "friends" again so it should be a nice evening

Health

Well its DD1 graduation in 2016 and I so want to be in a dress for her celebrations. I know what I want to look like in my mind's eye and I now have a goal (apart from my need to be healthy) which I think will make me stay on track! I'm going to follow the Slimming W*rld plan as I have all the books from last time :rotfl: and hopefully I can sort an arrangement to get back on track at the gym with the dd situation

Home

The roof got repaired and inside plastered but it needs painting (whole house does) and I cant wait to get started in the New Year. It will then go on the market - bitter sweet but needs must.

Finances

:eek: I made it through xmas ! Never ever again is it going to be this bad .... I think in hindsight I did go a little overboard with DD1 and DD2 ...my DH said he didnt think Santa still delivered presents to them!! (they each have a chair with presents on) - now I know they are technically adults but they still live at home and are still my children... ooops OUR children... but I just felt guilty not keeping the tradition whilst they still live here.

Ive managed to pay bills (although not gave as much as I should have but DH ok with this) and debts apart from the gym which I will sort out in the New Year.

I still have some funds available to get through January although it is going to be very tight - I have DH birthday, a birthday in work and a post xmas meal out with work :eek:

Ive been reflecting back on what I have achieved financially over 2015 and I feel I could have done better. I seemed to get a good start and then "lost" the focus really mid year and went downwards from then on.

I have learned alot from this site and I'm going to carry on posting and try to improve this debt situation with a more focused approach and this time sticking with the plan!

My "big" spend this year will be my DD1 graduation - we want to make it so special for her as she has worked SO hard with her Masters in Chemistry. We want to give her a financial gift so that she can either travel or put towards a car and we want to have a lovely family meal/celebration. Now we only 6 months to achieve this goal... plus I want a new outfit .... so as well as saving money I need to look at ways to make money... probably going to aim to do overtime as its the only way I know how to make extra - ive got nothing to sell !

This goal along with debt busting, losing weight and trying to sell the house is going to keep me very busy! I hope SO SO much that I can do it. I always have good intentions but I need to ACHIEVE. I just cannot let my DD1 down (not that she expects anything) but I want it to be so special for her.

On another note I have had a letter saying a bank has refunded me over £200 as they shouldnt have charged me interest. The account is no longer in use but at least its £200 off the bill i owe. It makes you wonder after all this time why its come to light now? I wonder if this means other creditors have done the same thing to me?

Wow such a long post...

judi24

Just catching up on your thread - I have been very poor over the last few months about checking in on people!!! Similarly to me it sounded like you were going great guns at the start of the year and then lost it a bit - BUT you are still here still posting! New year new goals - it sounds like you have a busy time ahead! It is really hard to stay focussed though isn't it? I have lost the plot over the last few months too - but back on it now with weight and debt! so will be here to cheer you on!!


Glad you and OH are getting on a little better too! and good news about the bank refund!!! Might be worth looking to see if anyone else owes anything (PPI etc)


Hope you have a good new year tomorrow! 2016 will be our year!!! and you have already started your Christmas fund!!!! I too was wrapping Christmas eve if its any consolation!!!