Budgeting without losing your mates...?

Teacheronabudget

Hi all, new to this website!

My husband and I are not in masses of debt (yet!) but we are overspending every month, and money given to us last year by a family member to help has just gone, and we are still overspending. My husband was in training so has not been earning for four years, and my salary was not large so that was the start of the problem.

However, he is now earning, and we want to sort ourselves out. having taken a hard look at what we spend, we have realised that most of our disposable income goes on socialising. My question is this: how have people cut down on this without cutting off from friends? It's not that they wouldn't understand, but physically seeing them costs money. We do not live particularly close to most of our friends so having them over to ours isn't simple.

Thanks!

Butti

I would suggest what we always suggest...
First do an SOA (Statement of Affairs)
Then decide what you want to cut and what to keep. I like my social life so I tend to try not to cut that. I economise on food, bills and clothes instead.

FireWyrm

Teacheronabudget wrote: »

However, he is now earning, and we want to sort ourselves out. having taken a hard look at what we spend, we have realised that most of our disposable income goes on socialising. My question is this: how have people cut down on this without cutting off from friends? It's not that they wouldn't understand, but physically seeing them costs money. We do not live particularly close to most of our friends so having them over to ours isn't simple.

Thanks!

Dollars to doughnuts, your 'friends' are in exactly the same situation and wondering pretty much the same thing. How about being honest and telling them that you cannot go out so often and you will have to cut it back to something slightly more sensible and less expensive. If your friends are your friends, they will be relieved you suggested the idea and work with you to figure out a schedule that suits. If they arnt...you are well rid of them.

Dobbibill

Hi Teacheronabudget,

Well done for recognising this before it spirals - overspending is not sustainable long term so you are doing exactly the right thing to look for advise sooner rather than later

I have to agree with Butti - best thing to look at first is a SOA, here's the link in case you haven't got it already

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

DB

PinkPoppies

Are the costs associated with your socialising travel/accommodation to visit them, or meals out and alcohol and that sort of thing?

The biggest way I cut down on spending socially in the evenings is to drive and not drink- saves a fortune not just in bar bills but taxis/accommodation too.

Also, rather than expensive nights out I increasingly enjoy nice day trips out walking with friends- perhaps you could find somewhere in the middle to meet up for a walk and a picnic? Very cheap!

concrete_kid

Hi

I totally understand where you are coming from. I think the first thing to do is budget for it but make sure it is realistic, it's unlkely you are going to be able to cut it out completely if it is something you have done for a long time and is something you enjoy. Just make sure you stick to what you have budgeted.

If you have to travel to see freinds and you're worried about the added cost, TELL THEM. It's better to go and see people but ask them if you can keep it cheap than it is to not go at all. I think people quite like the oppurtunty to not have to think up new and exciting things when you go and visit anyway. Or could you meet them half way for lunch say, cuts down on petrol and alcohol!

Also maybe think about trying to meet more people locally to tide you over until you are more solvent?

Also you say having people over isn't simple, but it's sounds like it is possible. Having people over to yours for food / drinks is by far the cheapest option. Sometimes it's not perfect, most of us don't have a lovely guest bedroom, loads of space etc. But it's not a hotel, if your mates have to make do with a blow up bed, that's fine for 1 or two nights.

Teacheronabudget

Thank you so much for the advice. I love the picnic idea. You're right, I can't solve this by just carrying on as I am. Thanks again! Will look into the SOA.

Pepperoni

I'd definitely do an SOA - you might be surprised where your money goes. Even if you aren't - its certainly eye-opening to see where every penny goes.

After that my advice is YNAB (you need a budget). Its a bit of software you can download onto your computer that many of us use on here. You have to allocate a 'job' to every penny you have. For example you can have a category called 'socialising' that you put £50 into each month and if you go over then you would have to take money from another category - your 'food shopping' for example! It certainly helps keep you on track I think.

How much do you think you spend on socialising? Could you cut it down slightly - any saving is a saving! OH enjoys going out with his friends, its not going to change, so we allocate a set amount each month. Same with his fast food habit... instead of just going willy nilly, he has money allocated so he can go once a week.

Teacheronabudget

font=courier new]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1550
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1900
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3450

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 112
Rent.................................... 950
anagement charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 155
Electricity............................. 100
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 40
Telephone (land line)................... 56
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 30
Road tax................................ 2
Car Insurance........................... 67
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 80
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 8
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 13
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 60
resents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100
Haircuts................................ 20
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 50
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Private pension......................... 100
Union membership........................ 20
Total monthly expenses.................. 2260


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0
Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
Secured Debt.................. 2500.....(112)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 2500......-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Overdraft 1....................2000......0.........0
Overdraft 2....................1550......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........3550......0.........-
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 3,450
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,260
Available for debt repayments........... 1,190
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,190

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -2,500
Total Unsecured debt.................... -3,550
Net Assets.............................. -6,050

Teacheronabudget

Right this is a total wake-up call. I deliberately left entertainment blank to see how much we spend. It must be the entirety of what SOA thinks is left. Plus a bit more. That is awful!

Btw the car tax etx actually refers to my husband's scooter. And the phone line covers Internet and to too as it's a bundle.

Teacheronabudget

Oh and the secured debts are for the scooter too, we got it on a payment plan. It may seem a lot but it's genuinely the cheapest way for my husband to get to work because of where it is (we did our research!).