Wedding invite issue!!!

lulu_92

Running_Horse wrote: »

I know it's a bit of a modern trend, but I would never spend thousands of pounds attending a wedding someone has chosen to hold abroad.

If they happen to live abroad, there is no way I would issue invitations for my wedding to people abroad without offering to help with costs of travel, or perhaps put them up in my home.

Oh I agree, but we had that thread a few months ago and it didn't go well, let's not drive this one down that road..

Pollycat

Bella73 wrote: »

We would go to the first one as I feel unless illness/serious issue involved it is rude to pull out, especially with the better offer syndrome which is basically what you would be saying to the first couple.

74jax wrote: »

I totally get you wouldn't go full stop but this is different ad they have said they will go but now have had a better offer and want to know if it is bad manners to pull out of the first acceptance.

I'm confused about 'better offer'.

I don't see it as necessarily a 'better offer', just an invitation that appeals more to the wife as she is - presumably - closer to her friend than the couple who invited them first.

Deleted_User wrote: »

However now my wife's best friend from her childhood has announced she is getting married on the same day as the other wedding and my wife is very upset at the thought of missing out on her best friends wedding.

I feel for her as we have already accepted and booked to go to the other wedding. Its clearly going to cause issues over the coming months as i know my wife deep down wants to go to her best friends wedding.

Maybe the OP could clarify which of the 2 bold comments is true.
My best friend from childhood is not my best friend now.
There may be a big difference.

From reading a couple of the OP's posts, there is also a small child which may be part of the issue about deciding what to do.

duchy

I'm wondering how much location is an issue -That the OP would rather attend a wedding in Barbados rather than Barnsley for example (nothing against Barnsley but it doesn't have the beach )

I can see that the wife might love to "go home" for a wedding if the wedding is in her home town and they no longer live there. I can also see that if seeing people she hasn't seen in years she might want to show her husband off -or simply not have to deal with "Where is your husband"

If both weddings were in the UK would it be as difficult to choose OP ......and if you cancel the first- how much money will you lose ?

mgdavid

Deleted_User wrote: »

My good friend and his wife have invited us to go to their wedding .........

it sounds like it's too late, so you can both go to the other one...

lulu_92

I would go to the first one.

- You had already confirmed your attendance to them.
- It is abroad so you have also made a financial commitment (although depending on how soon the wedding is I suppose some of the trip *may* be refunded)
- Unless you are really rich I doubt you would make the effort to travel abroad for an acquaintance's wedding.

I do think it is bad luck but these things happen and people can't expect you to not have plans already (obviously depending on how far in advance they've asked you).

Randomjargon

Don't go to any...simple

Gavin83

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the OP could clarify which of the 2 bold comments is true.
My best friend from childhood is not my best friend now.
There may be a big difference.

From reading a couple of the OP's posts, there is also a small child which may be part of the issue about deciding what to do.

What difference does it make?

There are only two options. Either go to seperate weddings or both go to the wedding abroad. I don't see another solution to this.

Robisere

As usual, lots of speculation.

I feel for the wife in this situation. My oldest friend from childhood died on Christmas Day amongst his family in Australia, where he had made his life. He had been coming over every year to see his family and myself for a few years, to receive this bad news 3 months after his last visit was heartbreaking. We had been very good mates, as close as brothers. Those kind of friends are the best.

If I had been in the same position as the OP with my friend from childhood I would definitely have gone to him, if my wife had a previous invitation I would have expected the other party to accept my regretful refusal, and my wife to attend her invitation.