Wedding invite issue!!!

Gavin83

Depends how good a friend they are. If a good friend of mine said he wasn't coming to my wedding so he could go to his wife's friends instead I'd be pretty upset. Of course if they're not that good a friend don't go but I suspect they probably are if you were prepared to travel abroad for them.

Of course the easiest solution, as people have suggested, is for each of you to attend one wedding each. It's what I'd do in the situation.

If they're both great friends and your not prepared to separate then your friend should get priority IMO.

getmore4less

Friends top trumps, don't you love it.

Where overseas is this friends wedding?

If you go to one each is the Mrs. going to be upset you get a foreign holiday without her?

getmore4less

neneromanova wrote: »

Get your wifes best friend to re-arrange it to another day :rotfl:

Is it not normal to poll the "key" guests to check they are available anyway.

Don't rule out that the date was picked knowing the "friend" was booked up.

maman

I think it would be incredibly insulting to not go to a wedding you've already committed to. OP is likely to be a close friend as people don't normally invite acquaintances to weddings abroad.


Your friend might find it OK that your wife is pulling out for a best friend's wedding but even that isn't particularly good form.


I'd definitely go for the one wedding each solution or, if not, your wife honours the commitment and plans a great Hen do!

19lottie82

I agree that you have already committed to the first wedding. However I wouldn't force your wife to go. Point out that you've already accepted the first invite and arranged accommodation abroad, so it would be rude to cancel BUT if she feels that strongly then you can go alone and she can go to her friends wedding.

[Deleted User]

I would agree with previous posters - go to the weddings separately. I would think that if your wife feels so strongly about how much she wants to go to her friend's wedding, she would be upset or a very long time and regret the decision not to go.

FatVonD

Another vote for one wedding each.

Soleil_lune

Deleted_User wrote: »

My good friend and his wife have invited us to go to their wedding this year and its in another country. We have accepted the invite and paid a small deposit on reserving the rooms for the wedding abroad.

However now my wife's best friend from her childhood has announced she is getting married on the same day as the other wedding and my wife is very upset at the thought of missing out on her best friends wedding.

I feel for her as we have already accepted and booked to go to the other wedding. Its clearly going to cause issues over the coming months as i know my wife deep down wants to go to her best friends wedding.

Would i be wrong to contact the other couple and cancel on them explaining the problem probably upsetting my friend and his future wife???

Nothing is every easy sometimes, i just don't know what to do...

I really can't see why your wife didn't just say to her friend 'aww I'm so sorry I can't come, because we are away that week at the wedding of another friend who lives in Italy.' (or wherever it is.) And say it's been planned for months.

If this is such a massively close friend of your wife's then I don't understand why she didn't discuss possible dates for the wedding before setting a definite date.

When we got married, in the mid 90s, I told my close family and close friends who were invited, (about 20 in all) that we were having it 16th July 1994. We told everyone who mattered, what the date was, to make sure it was OK for everyone, and that someone we really wanted there, wasn't away or unable to come because of some other prior arrangement.

So if the friend of your wife's didn't even mention it to her before all the arrangements went ahead, then I would suggest that they are not that close. So I think she should say she already has plans to go to another wedding that day, and that it's overseas, and all the travel plans are made now.

If her friend has a problem with this, then she isn't much of a friend is she? I don't see why she should be offended if your wife just says you already have plans.

And it's all very well people suggesting she goes to her friend's and you go to your friend's, but I bet your wife won't stand for that, as she will miss out on the holiday abroad, and probably won't like the idea of her being left out anyway!

As for this bit of your post.

Would i be wrong to contact the other couple and cancel on them explaining the problem probably upsetting my friend and his future wife???

Yes it most definitely WOULD be wrong. Wrong, and incredibly rude. I think your wife should definitely tell her friend that you and she cannot go because you both have concrete plans that cannot be changed.

Seanymph

One wedding each for me too - you shouldn't let your friend down now, and then it's up to her which she would rather do, accompany you, or go to her friends.

You are married, but you can still do things seperately.

Buzzybee90

Go to the first one.

If the 'best friend' cared enough about her attendance then she wouldn't have chosen a date she was already booked up on!!