Wedding invite issue!!!

Timeflies

Per the OP the second wedding is of the "best friend from childhood", rather than current best friend, hence why OP's wife was not taken into account when confirming the date.

SuzieSue

Timeflies wrote: »

Per the OP the second wedding is of the "best friend from childhood", rather than current best friend, hence why OP's wife was not taken into account when confirming the date.

Good point. I read it as meaning that she was still her best friend and had since when they were children, but I think you are correct.

sulphate

When are the weddings? I also vote for one wedding each as long as they are not close enough for things like deposits etc to be affected.

Some people find it odd to go to a wedding without their OH, I dont, I've been to a wedding before when my DH couldnt make it and plan on doing the same for another wedding this year.

GJ_WRX

I'd go to one each, just let your friend know sooner than later for their planning. Might be worth seeing if your wife's ticket can be transferred to another guest.

I had a similar situation a few years ago, we had an invite to my wife's cousins wedding (in Wales) which we accepted then a few days my best friend asked me to be best man at his wedding (in Devon) on the same day. After a bit of grief from my other half we decided to do one wedding each.

Torry_Quine

getmore4less wrote: »

Is it not normal to poll the "key" guests to check they are available anyway.
.

Not that I know of, I certainly didn't. If people were unavailable so be it, the wedding was on the date we wanted.

OP, I would say that I'm sorry but I have something else on that date and so reluctantly have to decline the invite. Maybe go out for a meal with them to have your own celebration. Personally I wouldn't go to separate weddings, not least as one is abroad.

74jax

If we couldn't go to one each, we would do the first.

Oh has been to a wedding abroad without me before so couldn't see why itcouldn't happen again .

happy35

we would go to separate weddings, we have done this in the past and it has been fine. I dont mind going places on my own though

Bella73

We would go to the first one as I feel unless illness/serious issue involved it is rude to pull out, especially with the better offer syndrome which is basically what you would be saying to the first couple.

You like the first couple enough to bother going abroad so we would stick with them and tell the second couple would love to have been there but we are abroad, maybe take them out for a meal whatever to celebrate.

Running_Horse

I know it's a bit of a modern trend, but I would never spend thousands of pounds attending a wedding someone has chosen to hold abroad.

If they happen to live abroad, there is no way I would issue invitations for my wedding to people abroad without offering to help with costs of travel, or perhaps put them up in my home.

74jax

Running_Horse wrote: »

I know it's a bit of a modern trend, but I would never spend thousands of pounds attending a wedding someone has chosen to hold abroad.

If they happen to live abroad, there is no way I would issue invitations for my wedding to people abroad without offering to help with costs of travel, or perhaps put them up in my home.

In that case though you would have declined at the start. The OP said yes they would go and has paid the deposit.

I totally get you wouldn't go full stop but this is different ad they have said they will go but now have had a better offer and want to know if it is bad manners to pull out of the first acceptance.