Make do, Mend and Minimise in 2015

camelot1001

I sympathise with you all, my DS1s gf is very controlling and tried to split us all up as a family, picking a victim at a time. I haven't seen DS1 for 2 years and then it was for him to collect some things he had stored at our house and we were moving. I think she is somehow increadibly jealous of my DD and the relationship we all have. She once asked me if she thinks my late DH would have liked her!

I haven't seen my granddaughter since she was 2 weeks old and she will be 4 next month. The gf thinks she is a bargaining tool but I told her I can't miss something I have never had although I would of course love to be part of her life.

Unfortunately I fear DS1 is now too scared to make any contact with me in case she takes the wee girl with her. He did meet up with DS2 and DD after christmas but they haven't heard from him since then.

He's a big boy - 27 and can make his own decisions. Although it breaks my heart it is his decision and there's nothing I can do. I do, however, have a great relationship with the other two.

Families, eh?

nursemaggie

My elder son is 41. I don't think we can blame them I am absolutely sure my DIL has said to my son if you don't do as I say I will leave you and I will never let you see your son again. I am sure he means nothing to her but the means of having a child. She was pregnant within weeks of them meeting and it is rare he ever gets chance to cuddle his son or spend even a second with him without being overseen by her.

He only sees his daughter about 3 times a year. I think it is her who prevents him seeing her and I hate to see how my ex treats my son because of this. How can you chose between your kids? but he is made to do it all the time.

He is the sort of man who should have had a dozen kids he absolutely adores them and was very good with them even from the age of five he could quieten a crying baby.

I would not say families I just think it is so cruel there are such manipulative people in this world.

Shall we change the subject?

monnagran

Hi all. I grieve for those of you missing your grandchildren. I had no difficulty with mine when they were young - too useful as a babysitter no doubt - but when ds1's ex-wife divorced him and took his daughter off to live with her new man she started the poisoning manipulation. This means that my DGD1 won't have anything to do with her father but I have managed to maintain contact through emails. She is in her late teens now but my DS1 hasn't seen his only child for over ten years. He has no hope of any more as his ex persuaded him to have the snip just before she dumped him. My, some women can be cruel.
DS2's wife couldn't be more dear to me if she was my own daughter and his little family are all loving and happy.

Well, I did my first day at Holiday Club today. It's strange dealing with 50 odd chilren again. I've been retired for 16 years now but old habits die hard and I found that the teachers "look" still works its magic in producing immediate silence in the middle of chaos.

Not much MMM today though I did manage to finish the back of a knitted cushion cover - the Christmas presents are coming on! Sorry!

x

nursemaggie

oh monna I do so know what you mean both my DD and SIL both have it. unfortunately many teachers these days have never learned it. I think DD has been able to use that look since she was three as she could control 20 children from around 5 to 16 with a look. She is also very popular with children and will have all the children wanting to play with her in any large play situation like soft play, within minutes. They seem to know instinctively she can be trusted.

I hope you had a good day and am not too exhausted.

Lynplatinum

Hiya All

Just a quick word on families. My MIL was very manipulative - everyone wondered how I put up with her - when I divorced so many people were ready to put all the blame at her feet but I would not let them. There were 5 major factors which broke my marriage - she and my ex's inability to say no to her was only a minor one. Controversially I feel sorry for the manipulators. They are never very happy people - always on the look out for others working against them as they work against others. It is often that they are manipulated as children themselves or incredibly spoilt or very insecure. They just make misery all round them. Such a shame in the case of folks with granchildren and love to give. Hugs to all suffering at their hands.

To brighten the discussion:

Well done Charlies' Aunt on your massive harvest!! Brilliant! Very MM&M - doesnt sound as if you will be starving! :T

Also well done Valhalla on your entertaining 6 kids for 2 days! Its not easy but as this is an OS thread - I dont know about you folks I often find that the older, cheaper ways work better than more modern expensive ways. thus a cardboard box and some crayons will last a lot longer both in current time and in memory time than a visit to some expensive theme park!

I was teaching some v well off kids one summer (for 3 days a week) and on the other 2 days one or the other parent would have the day off and do something with them. The two of them (the kids) were in a real mood one week. I asked why. They said that they had to go to another boring theme park (in this case Alton Towers) and that they were all the same - boring! They would rather go for another nature walk with me! woops! I taught them to people watch and asked them to describe in words what 3 of the people at the park looked like; invent names and occupations for them; to invent a comic superpower for them! Apparently this entertained them for years afterwards. So of course, being kids of a certain age there was F*rt Man; Sn*t man; Boggle Eyes who could see behind walls etc! They had such fun and the game stayed with them!!! :j

Anyone else got entertain kids for nowt ideas? OS and MM&M ideas of course :rotfl:
Nite all

Bluegreen143

Just did a wee bit of MMMing - used up the leftover pulp from making blackcurrant cordial the other day. I added sugar and then remembered I also had some apple compote in the freezer which I'd made with old wrinkly apples and was subsequently not very nice. So I defrosted that and mixed in, and now I have lots of extremely yummy tart compote.

This was actually inspired by me also making granola this evening so my breakfasts for the next few days will be natural yoghurt, granola and the compote

mcculloch29

When she was about 10 my DD (37 next month) invented a game to share out a packet of Dolly Mixtures between 12 kids ( I was a registered childminder and we were allowed more kids to care for back then).

You need a bag of small sweets that are non-identical such as Skittles, Dolly Mixtures, Rainbow Drops.
Around 10 sweets are scattered on to a tray and one child leaves the room. The others decide on a sweet to be 'it'. The child comes in to the room and selects the sweets one by one from the tray. On selecting the sweet that is 'it', everyone shouts 'Sweet' and the other sweets have to be left. The 'it' sweet can be taken.
Totally random, not always 'fair' (like life) and enormous fun.
Still remembered by those who played it, now all adults. Having non identical sweets also helps prevent arguments on which sweet is 'it'.

I've also used sweets for a quick version of Kim's Game. At one time I had a special bag of Kim's Game items, a coloured stone, a duffle toggle, doll's hairbrush, bottle cork, thimble, etc etc.

Kim's Game: Have a dozen items on a tray, show them to children for a minute to memorise. Hide tray with a cloth, and unseen, remove one item. Show the tray again.
Children then have to decide which item is missing and whisper it to you (younger children) or write it down (older children).

[Deleted User]

vhalla Happy Birthday honey ,hope you get lots of spoiling
Weather looks a wee bit brighter at the moment,well there is a yellow thing in the sky which wasn't ther yesterday :):)

Boy's dentist appointments went well no treatment and next appoinment next February.I drummed into them from as soon as they knew what a tooth was how important it is to clean and look after your teeth.They all have lovely smiles and rarely need treatment .

DGS Ben is looking after the three boys this morning as I am having a couple of hours off to see a film at the 'Crinkly morning ' cinema.Film cuppa and a biscuit all fir £3.00 I read the book last year and the film is 'Child 44' so I'm looking forward to it.

DD came home last night with another little mouth to feed.She is a lettings agent for an estate company, and often when folk move out they decide they can't take their pet with them.So her household has been increased with another hamster.She seems to be a hamster rescue centre.She said if she didn't take it then it would have been a bucket of water and a swift death and she couldn't bear that.She has 'rescued around 4 or 5 over the past few years .They live out their lives in peace and comfort at DDs and the boys all look after them.My DD should have been in charge of a zoo she just can't bear to think of any animal being put down because its not wanted or needed anymore.So now when we go away on holiday this year we will have three adults, four boys, one girfriend, (of the eldest boy) two dogs and two hamsters plus all the luggage to carry down to our holiday house :):) The only thing we don't take is the tropical fish (thank goodness)her sister feeds them whilst we are away.

DD's house is like Noahs ark at times with waifs and strays of both the animal and human kind:):):)But I wouldn't have her any other way bless her.
Right time for a shower and some breakfast I think bran flakes and chopped banana I think.Its quiz night tonight so no cooking as I get a meal there
Onwards and upwards chums
JackieO xx

ModestyB

Many happy returns of the day vhalla. Hope you have a lovely day and enjoy your lunch out with your friend. :bdaycake:

nursemaggie

:bdaycake:Happy Birthday vhalla.