Make do, Mend and Minimise in 2015

nursemaggie

candlelight and vhalla you have both summed up the joy of grandchildren perfectly. I would not like to be without them. I only see my DGS2 once a year as they are in Saudi Arabia and will move to Malta permanently next year. I do see him most weeks on Skype. The other two are only two hours away but I rarely see them and am not allowed to play with them.

candlelight_2013

Oh Maggie, I am sorry you arn't allowed to play with the children.

We have a very troubled relationship with our younger daughter (the mother of our grandchildren) because she is married to a control freak and she has to do as she is told otherwise he kicks off. Luckily the grandchildren are old enough to come and see us on their own. I can't do anything about our daughter, she is in her 40s, but I make every effort to make sure all 3 children get together at our home regularly.

Hugs

Candlelightx

vhalla1478

So sorry to hear that, Nursemaggie; how very sad for you. Lots of hugs - I have a problem even though I am on good terms with all my family. As some of you will know, my daughter converted to Judaism at university and is an Orthodox Jew, so now that my two eldest grandsons are well into their teens, I cannot hug or kiss them; it's very hard, even though I see the love in their eyes.

Thinking of you.

Viv xx

candlelight_2013

Oh Viv, poor you. I am a very huggy person and I did wonder how long I could still hug my 18 year old grandson, but he still kisses me when he comes round, so I am very grateful for that.

As long as you can see the love in their eyes hang on to that.

Hugs

Candlelightx

vhalla1478

Thank you, Candlelight, I appreciate that.

Viv xx

117pauline

Have been MIA for a while but just catching up.

I had expected that the arrival of my granddaughter wouldn't really effect me so I was very surprised at how much I enjoy seeing her. I am certainly not maternal but she makes me smile, particularly when I see her acting just like her dad!! Two going on Twenty and with a strong mind of her own. It's all pleasure and none of the boring, worrying bits of bringing up your own child.

We are minimizing the fridge as tomorrow we are off for a couple of days to Warwickshire. OH will pick up his new car and we will have a change of scene for 48hours! Bliss and even suggested by OH so even nicer.

I have just turned up two pairs of OH's new trousers while he did the ironing so I reckon that was a fair compromise.

It's lovely reading all the exploits of the people on this thread - a daily pleasure

nursemaggie

I fully sympathise Viv my youngest DS will not allow me to touch him even an accidental brush past. A few weeks ago he woke me a 4am as he had severe abdominal pain. He made such a fuss because I wanted to examine him. I knew if his abdominal muscles reacted with severe rigidity it was a strong indication of something serious.

He just went rigid all over because I touched him. It turned out to be just wind.

It is my DIL who is the controlling one. She would not let my older son visit me when I had my operation for cancer. Yet she went and made a phone call to my DD in Saudi Arabia knowing she was expecting a baby any day and would not be allowed to visit until he had a UK birth certificate. She visited me when he was 5 months old.

I was not allowed in the same room as my older grandson until he was two years old.

They would not come near me until I had had treatment for at least 6 months and then I do not think they would have ever have visited if they had known I would have to have my treatment every day for the rest of my life. They then accused me deliberately poisoning my grandchildren as I was giving off the chemicals into the air.

I told them I had never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life and if it were remotely true I would have killed half of West Sussex by then as I had been traveling on 4 trains and two buses to go to the hospital every month. I had also been regularly shopping in two supermarkets and the town centre every week. If what they said was true they would have to isolate all cancer patients and we would all be paying a 50% tax rate to pay for it.

Guess where she works though she is not medical staff. Yes a cancer hospital. Needless to say their son gets absolutely everything he wants materially but little affection.

candlelight_2013

Maggie, you have my sincere sympathies, my son in law says "jump" and she says "how high". Believe me she wasn't brought up to put up with all that rubbish, but I can't do anything.

Candlelightx

Bluegreen143

nursemaggie that is so shocking! I am so so sorry to hear of how unreasonable your DIL is if my parents or MIL were getting cancer treatment is want my wee one to visit and play as much as he could, to make as many memories as possible.

My MIL can occasionally be slightly difficult, but I know her heart's in the right place, she's very generous to those she loves and will be a brilliant grandma to our baby. Sadly my husband's SIL doesn't get on with her so she never had the chance to be hands on with her other grandson (now well into his teens). She wasn't allowed to have him stay and in fact the boy had never spent a night away from his parents until he was in secondary school! When I was growing up my grandparents used to take us on holiday without my mum for six weeks every summer so I believe grandparent relationships are so important for children.

nursemaggie

Yes I know they can't see it or will not admit it. I hope you let her know you are there for her. She probably does not say how high but does it immediately to avoid the consequences of not doing as she is told.

I know my son does as he is told or she will leave and take his son with him. His daughter's is by a previous partner.