getting over this hill

Dansmam

Have also realised it all went bad when I stopped doing Brogden"s envelopes. Due to not watching out for me before going to work.
They were mainly virtual envelopes but they were great and I'm off to update them.
DM

Brogden

Dansmam wrote: »

Have also realised it all went bad when I stopped doing Brogden"s envelopes. Due to not watching out for me before going to work.
They were mainly virtual envelopes but they were great and I'm off to update them.
DM

Oh !!

You sound like a right character :rotfl:!! Don't do 'virtual' envelopes, do 'physical' ones - available in post offices, supermarkets and pound shops !! I have been asked about my envelopes today. You can overspend on the envelope system BUT the important thing is you know when you are doing it and the laws of mathematics being as they are, you HAVE to correct this with 'budgetary undershooots' or you end up in the sh*t !!

It's simple......an 'overshoot' has to be compensated for by an 'undershoot.' It is an ongoing discipline of good practice and could easily become a religion.....I feel quite holy when I practice it actually :cool:

Meditation and prayer are helpful but once you have taken your vows, I have to say.......cheap thrills are not permitted :rotfl:!! I gave those up a long time ago !!

Brogden x

Dansmam

Ha!! I will stay with virtual cos they really were working for me but oh Brogden you know how s **te work ppl can be. Me and DD have a fantastic DF plan but till then we (ok me not her - she has savings and they are not cash money, she tells me) have to bust debt by being gooder than we (ok I) have ever been since we (ok, I) was an independent adult.
Hate anyone telling me to do anything, but the the little spends were a pain. So I will BUY envelopes tomorrow for the day to days. We have a cheap market here so hope to score envelopes for pennies.
DM

Dansmam

Ooh and I am not insomniac. Burns night supper. Late in. Not entirely untiddled
DM

Brogden

Dansmam wrote: »

Ooh and I am not insomniac. Burns night supper. Late in. Not entirely untiddled
DM

Untiddled? That means you must have been 'tiddled' :eek:

Well really.......the people you meet on these boards

Dansmam

Hey, there were people not drinking their whiskey shots. Had to do the MSE thing. I think they were grateful...

judi24

Waste not want not with the whiskey shots - I'm with you on that one!!! I got a haggis when up in Scotland so we are having our own little Burns supper tonight (minus the whiskey unfortunately!) - I hope you enjoyed your evening


Glad I've found you - you post some lovely supportive words on my diary so hoping I can do the same with yours!


Just wondering if you have put your debts into a snowball calculator and have a plan ( I like a good plan!!!) to tackle them? It helps me to focus knowing which ones to pay first and when each will be gone. I do think getting debt free (and good with money for ever!) needs a change in mind set and if you are struggling at being pulled along by people in work into spending may be a real shift in focus is needed?


I read a 'Savvy woman's guide to Financial Freedom' last year (on a holiday paid for on credit!!!) and it gave me a different way of thinking about money and making it work for me. This was probably the turning point for me along with being declined for a re mortgage to consolidate my CC debt onto my mortgage! (so glad I was turned down now!!!).


Like the envelope idea but I can't see how workable it would be to put fuel in car everyday - I guess its whatever works for you - virtual envelopes using YNAB seems to be working for me.


When does you DD plan to move home? Will she be working and earning? you need to consider how much 'rent' to take from her - its easier to be upfront and establish a reasonable amount at the start than try to increase it once she is home in my experience


Anyway off to subscribe

Igamogam

I Dansmam

Read your diary so far.............I am not sure you are 'there' yet IYKWIM? I dont see a concrete plan forming.........have you really had your LBM - or is it a low energy dim but it will get there type light bulb?? Mine was!!Of course you may well be beavering away with getting a grips with the debt and not posting it all on here, and I can understand that! Its the paying back the mortgage thing puzzles me but I do realise there is a reason for that based on previous relationships so only you and OH really know why you have this arrangement.

None of this is a criticism but only an observation - most people on this forum are very very supportive with lots of ideas BTW:) I use 'physical envelopes' well purses actually having worked out what I needed over 12 months for things like DD2 after school activities, vets bills, hair cuts etc and divided that 52 and put that amount in the allocated purse each week - OK sometimes have to 'borrow' from purses but at least its not a borrow on a CC. I have rediscovered the advantage of cash over card - even a debit card

Its a long old journey to debt freedom and can look very bleak at times. Changing habits can be soul destroying because it can feel like you have to admit to past failures and also its bit like having to re invent yourself and I have even heard it described as a bereavement - having to say goodbye to your old 'self'...........

Look at a few of the challenges on here to help you along in a fun way - the Payment a Day thread is fab Its been my saviour sometimes!

Good luck!

*subscribes*

Dansmam

Hi Judi and igamogam, thanks for the support. Tbh after today I am having a serious think about OH and me, and how alone I feel in this relationship. I have felt more supported on my own, with my handful of closest friends, back in the day when me and the kids had nothing but a couple of cans of beans to rub together! Won't go into detail but slipped and hurt myself badly, like needing stitches level of badly and the a+e staff were lovely but OH was not. We've been together 16+ years so I don't do give up lightly, but it may come to that.
I'm also thinking that, whatever, I need to go hard-core dfw to beat the debts. Igamogam you are spot on, I have a light bulb on, but RL keeps turning it down.
Am going to sleep on everything and look at the world anew tomorrow. It will be a brighter day, whatever, and there are so many lovely people in the world. We will be well, all will be well, and we live in the most fantastic place in the world. Just need OH to de-gloom and hold my hand.
Sleep well folks, ready for another jolly work week. Have the pikestaff ready to fend off irritating bosses. Ha!
DM x

Dansmam

Probably not actually the end of beautiful relationship now perspective`s returned. I was pretty shaken up and probably in shock. Just overreacted. Patched up by our lovely people in the NHS, and the world's not ended. Tomorrow's task is to take the good advice on here and decide what I need to snowball first. And not go off on a one if someone happens to mention they don't like paying council tax. It's not as if I enjoy it either...