useless with money

randomer

Hello anyone who can be bothered to read this. I have been here before and found the advice overwhelming. I filled in a statement of accounts (not sure if that is correct) but find the tech stuff a challenge.

Money is not just money ...it is tied in to my past ,my future,my beliefs and my emotions. Just never get a handle on it.

Husband earns good salary,no huge debts but always on the edge, in the overdraft

msgnomey

Hello

I am the same

OH is unwell and can't cope with money (although he can manage to spend it) so I have to do it all,

We have around 20,000 debt :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: but he doesn't know and I try to pretend we don't to myself

He doesn't work due to ill health and my wage is okayish but I don't know where it all goes?????

2015 will be the year I get this sorted!!!!

Have attracted a spreadsheet to track finances, just need to fill it in now!!!!!!

randomer

I dunno gnomey....I could spreadsheet for the next 10 years it goes deeper than that

evie451

Yes OP it does and I have struggled with money for years...buying stuff to keep everyone one happy and then getting into debt...I started to sort myself out a bit after reading the book your money or your life...then finding these boards. The book helps you get to know yourself and your money attitudes better and try out things that will help. I have tried spreadsheet s but without much success! You need to figure out why you get into a mess in the first place....
You can do it but don't expect it to be an instant fix...:o

calleyw

its like anything its baby steps.

Don't try and change to much in one go.

First thing to do which is very boring get bank and credit card statements for the last couple of months. And look and see if there is a pattern to why and where you are spending.

Do you spend when bored or lonely?

And then go from there. Maybe look at taking out the money you need in cash. Or say you will have X amount of Non spend days.

All the best

Yours

Calley

moneyistooshorttomention

I've been clear of mortgage for years now and of debt for quite some time.

One way that I find helps me to keep on track is to ask myself "Am I financially straight yet?". By my age (60s) I certainly should have been for some time:(:mad:. However, the facts are that I'm still working on getting to be (ie having the money to get my recently-bought second house completely finished and getting my savings back up again0.

So, I have, for some time, kept a list of what is still required to be "financially straight" and roughly how much it will cost written by each item on the list.

I keep that list written down in my diary and remind myself of it frequently and it helps give me the incentive not to just blow money, as I think "...and the next item on my list is....".

It's unnerving at my age to think that list is still over £20,000 long, eg:

new kitchen = £5,000-£8,000
sofa = £1,500

but it does help a lot to keep me on track and coping with the "By my age I should have....." blues and think "Yep...I know I should....but this is how it is, ie that I'm still working on it....".

randomer

thanks all very useful tips. I have done the statement of money in and out many times but no progress.

It is said doing the same thing and expecting a different result is insanity!

Need to get a grip and be honest.

slowlyfading

Do you know why you spend your money? Where does it go/on what?

Sometimes, until we understand why things happen the way the do, the harder it will be to fix the source.

Ches

I am the same so its cash only this year.

randomer

It goes on food a lot as in a perverse way I regard being frugal with food as something other people do.

It goes on my 2 kids who are at Uni,constantly.....need to try and sort that out.

It goes on stupid things to make myself feel better in the short term.

It goes due to lack of organisation and focus and boredom.

slowlyfading

randomer wrote: »

It goes on food a lot as in a perverse way I regard being frugal with food as something other people do.

As in, you spend a lot on food? Why specifically? Do you plan your meals before going to the supermarket? We plan every week and we never go over £40 for food. Do you have a lot of food in your cupboards? See if you can make 3 meals from things you already have in your home this week!

It goes on my 2 kids who are at Uni,constantly.....need to try and sort that out.

What exactly are you paying for? Did they get student loans?

It goes on stupid things to make myself feel better in the short term.

This is a tricky one; as you say, if you buy stuff it makes you feel better in the short term. What kind of things are you buying? Think about whether you really need all the things you buy - they won't make you happy in the long run.

It goes due to lack of organisation and focus and boredom.

Is it due to lack of time? Or not knowing where to start? The first thing for you to do is a Statement of Affairs. This is a list of all incomings and all outgoings - to see if you're in the black at the end of the month. Also, start keeping a spending diary. Write down everything you spend (which will take a bit of remembering and also focus) and you will probably start to see a pattern. It has taken me a long time to not spend money when I'm bored, for example. Having to write everything down will also make you see what you spend your money on, and whether it is absolutely necessary.

I hope this helps a bit