When do you stop giving Christmas presents?

74jax

onlyroz wrote: »

Do you still give Christmas presents to older nieces and nephews once they turn 18? And if you stop doing this how did you arrive at an arrangement that didn't upset anybody?

And what do you do if the parents of your nieces and nephews still send presents/money for your own children (who are younger than 18)?

When my nephews turned 18 I just stopped buying, it's a normal thing in our family.

One turned 18 and one was only 14 so I just bought for the 14 year old.

They are now both over 18 but my daughter is 16 so my brother still buys for her - i'm not sure what you mean by upsetting anybody? as in who?

balletshoes

its 21 in my family officially for birthdays, but we still give my oldest 2 nephews something at xmas (but just a small gift to open along with all their younger cousins).

Mrs_Imp

I still get presents from my lovely Aunties, and I still buy for my 21 year old niece. It's never occurred to me to stop. I'll be carrying on until she asks me to stop.

Hedgehog99

18 or 21 is a good cut-off if you've agreed top stop. I think it's up to the parents of the oldest (who'll be the first to stop receiving) to open the discussion earlier in the year / approaching child's birthday.

Exception is if you are seeing them on Christmas Day - nice for everyone to have a little present to open.

Most of my aunts and uncles & great aunts & uncles stopped when I was 18. I still continued to get prezzies from my grandma beyond 18/21.

Agree with second poster - each child gets gifts for the same number of years, just with some before & after outside the overlap of their ages.

Bean83

My nieces/nephews are still very young so this hasn't come up for me yet, but I can't imagine I will ever completely stop buying for them. I always buy a present for my sister and I expect this to always continue, so I couldn't stop buying for her children! The only thing I see changing is the amount I spend - I go a bit nuts at the moment because I like to spoil them, but I may rein it in a bit once they reach adulthood and it may just be cash or a voucher rather than the mountain of toys I currently go for!

onlyroz

thecoffeehouse204 wrote: »

I nearly posted this very same question a few weeks ago as i'm in a similar quandry. My niece and nephew are 18 & 20 and we're still buying christmas and birthday presents for them - actually giving them cash most recently. I was thinking of stopping at 21 but feel a bit guilty as our little girl is only 4 so my brother and sister in law have many years of buying for her ahead. It's such a difficult decision isn't it?

Well we see our nieces once a year, usually on boxing day. I think one is 20 and the other is 21 and we've usually just put £20 in a card for them. However, this year we won't be seeing them and I think we were thinking of just letting it pass because I doubt said nieces will get us anything and we're not especially close.

However yesterday there was an envelope in the post from the nieces' mum (hubby's sister) which included gift vouchers for our kids - and I did panic a bit and have now sent on some cards for the nieces with £20 each in. However I'm now wondering if this was the right thing to do. We're not close to the family and as the girls are now working adults I don't think they'll be in much of a position to send us anything back. But considering that we've continued to buy for them does this mean that we're now obligated to continue this forever more? And is there a tactful way of saying that we think the present-giving should stop now they're no longer children? I don't really want to upset either the girls or their mother but I do think things have changed now they're "grownups".

LEJC

I tend to buy a collective gift of chocolates/biscuits/sweets etc which I then make sure is at my SIL house for all the neices and nephews to have a little of whilst they visit over christmas....my neices and nephews are now all in their 20's,some with kids of their own...


However what does niggle me is there is never a thank you or even a christmas card in return..same for birthdays..i send but nothing is ever received....
Perhaps next year is the time to give up....

kingfisherblue

I'm quite close to my nieces and nephews and still give to all four. Two are over 21 (on my ex husband's side of the family) and my sister's two are still at school. With all four, I have a limited budget, but look out for suitable items all year round.


This year, my oldest niece has given birth, so I have bought for my great-nephew as well. It's easier to buy less expensive items for a baby though. Hopefully he'll enjoy chewing on his new board books :¬)


My relationship with nieces and nephews has always been close, but those on my ex's side quietened down for a while. This year it has rekindled again. If you are close, and budget for adult nieces and nephews, I don't see any reason for not buying. If I didn't see them regularly, or at all, I wouldn't buy though. I'm not keen on 'token' presents just because you feel you have to. I have a sister that I don't even send a card to (long story!).


Gifts should be given with thoughtfulness and love.

suejb2

My nieces and nephews range from 31 years down to 2 years old.I buy for all, apart from the those that have their own child(ren), my Great nieces and nephews get presents.

j.e.j.

I think it depends how often you see your adult nieces and nephews. I wouldn't buy for adult relatives who I hardly see from one year to the next, but if I am closer to them or chat with them regularly I would buy a gift.