Hurt and frustrated

TBeckett100

Yes that's true but you have to pick your worries. I'd take the view that's a saving on a Wedding gift. Very MSE!

duchy

Honestly there could be a variety of reasons

He was missed in error
They invited couples
He's so quiet he got forgotten
He isn't a socializer
They just had to cut the line somewhere..... You don't mention he's an especial friend of the bride or groom
He's got drunk once too often and they didn't want him there (or just didn't want young players in general )

It all sounds like a mountain out of a molehill and you are far more bothered than he is. Most lads of twenty would be pleased not to have to climb into a suit and shell out for a present.

The_Goob

stormbreaker wrote: »

frustrated!

My son plays rugby. He is in the first team. Today is the wedding day of a couple closely associated with the club.

It has become apparent that the majority of the team, if not all, have been invited to the evening reception, except my son.

He didn't look or expect an invite, but never considered for a minute that most of the team would be invited.

He is not a man of many words, but I think he is truly gutted if not a little hurt.

I can't help hurting for him.:(

To put a positive spin on it, at least he will learn how to deal with rejection. You should tell him to switch to a rival rugby team and then go out and win against his old fauxs. Rugby is tough so he probably is as well. Dont worry too much.

stormbreaker

TBeckett100 wrote: »

A few thoughts
1) if they disliked your son and it was commonly known among the team, I doubt they will send snapchats. They would be cautious
2) perhaps they were tight on numbers and thought the sister going was representative of the family

Does sister not query why son not invited?

I don't think he is disliked. I would never expect to anyone to ask or answer why a particular person was not invited

My son and his aunt would not have been considered together. Their connection to the couple comes from completely differant sources. My sister never goes to the rugby.

You never stop worrying about your kids regardless their age.

He may just for a short while feel a little excluded.

Thanks for the replies.

Poppops

Are you absolutely sure that the others received invites?

I ask because my OH and DS belong to rugby and cricket clubs, we've been to loads of functions over the years and I can't remember them ever receiving invites.

Usually someone puts a poster up in the clubs and they sign to say they are going.

Or is that just a northern thing?

He could have missed something?

Poppops

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Also son is 20. Time to cut the apron string and not do so much worrying for him

Yeah cos it's that easy. They get to 18 and you don't worry anymore.

*max*

Poppops wrote: »

Yeah cos it's that easy. They get to 18 and you don't worry anymore.

It's not often I agree with Tbeckett (or whatever their username is. ). But here, I definitely agree. I was very close to my mum as a teen, even though I moved away at 17 for a french prep school. I'm still very close to her.
What I know, though, is that she would never have worried about me not being invited to a wedding to the point of posting a thread about it (even if there had been such a thing as the internet then!). It's not "worrying". It's life. It happens.
He was not invited to a wedding most of his team mates were. Alright. You can make a massive deal out of it, and he'll forever be known as the cry-baby who told his mum. Or you could do nothing. (which it is - nothing, in the grand scheme of things) and let him deal with it.

He's 20, let him grow up.

kelpie35

From what you have said your son does not seem to be unhappy about not being invited.

Maybe you should start taking lessons from him.

Please, for your sons sake, let him grow up and fight his own battles. You are certainly not doing him any favours worrying about trivialities like this.

stormbreaker

I posted on here purely to get it out of my system. No one else will ever know, how I felt or him. It will not be mentioned again:D. That is the beauty of forums like this

I have never fought any of his or his brothers battles since they were at an age they could be reasoned with and decide if they wanted their mothers intervention. Since they both left school, I have not even discussed taking their problems on board and as tempted as I could be, I have never gone behind their back either.

I am a worry mother who finds it extremely difficult when she sees her adult son emotionally hurt, nothing more. Oh to be able to turn back the time to skint knees

In answer to *max* the Internet these days, along with mobile phone exacerbate problems. I like having them but on numerous occasions could well do without .

purpleshoes_2

Well for what its worth I think if you play sport in a team and everyone else gets invited to an evening reception and you don't, its going to be natural to feel hurt. If I hadn't received invites because I'm quiet and at times didn't have a partner then I can think of at least half a dozen weddings I wouldn't have been invited to. If the op wanted to start this thread because they felt upset on behalf of her son, why not, many parents post about their kids, some a lot older than 20. It's a very natural reaction to wonder if you've upset someone or if they don't like you if every single other member of a sports team gets invited to a wedding reception and you are left out. If it was an issue with lack if space, takes 2 mins to make that clear.