Hurt and frustrated

stormbreaker

frustrated!

My son plays rugby. He is in the first team. Today is the wedding day of a couple closely associated with the club.

It has become apparent that the majority of the team, if not all, have been invited to the evening reception, except my son.

He didn't look or expect an invite, but never considered for a minute that most of the team would be invited.

He is not a man of many words, but I think he is truly gutted if not a little hurt.

I can't help hurting for him.:(

19lottie82

The majority if not all? What are the exact figures here?
I got married in the summer and we couldn't invite everyone that we wanted to. I'm sure the couples choice not to invite your son was down to cost / capacity issues, so you need to explain this to your son and make him realise that these things happen in life and he shouldn't take it so personally.

To be honest the attitude that comes across on your OP, you're prob making your son feel worse.

FBaby

Either the invit got lost, or he really isn't appreciated much by the person giving the invit. Up to him whether he cares and wants to find out why if he doesn't already.

theoretica

I didn't get an invite to a family wedding as they had typed my email address wrong - thankfully we communicated and I did go.

stormbreaker

I've not said anything to him and don't think my attitude has worn off on him.

Their match was called off because of the pitch conditions, so a few played for the 2nd team away. The others from the first team were all going to the reception, none of whom we would have thought would have been going.

There are about 10-15 regular local players who have played together for the last two years and more. My son is one of the younger ones, but so are his friends who have been invited.

I have only spoke with my OH, out with my sons ear shot as I was surprised that he had come home with his father and not gone on to the club.

I am aware that there are many restrictions on how many are invited to weddings and other events, he is too.

I often feel that I don't 'fit in' in social circles and it concerns me that my son may be the same! Square pegs in round holes

I do know that it is a large wedding. My sister is there all day and had been asking my son the other week, if he was invited

stormbreaker

FBaby wrote: »

Either the invit got lost, or he really isn't appreciated much by the person giving the invit. Up to him whether he cares and wants to find out why if he doesn't already.

I expect not appreciated. He will not say anything, it is not in his nature.

19lottie82

FBaby wrote: »

Either the invit got lost, or he really isn't appreciated much by the person giving the invit. Up to him whether he cares and wants to find out why if he doesn't already.

I'm sorry but what a load of utter tripe. Wedding Guest lists aren't infinite you know. I could only invite about 1/3 of the people I wanted to at my wedding and it certainly didn't mean I don't appreciate them!

FBaby

19lottie82 wrote: »

I'm sorry but what a load of utter tripe. Wedding Guest lists aren't infinite you know. I could only invite about 1/3 of the people I wanted to at my wedding and it certainly didn't mean I don't appreciate them!

So you would happen to have enough space for a whole team bare one and you would exclude that one randomly?

dandelionclock30

I'd tell your son just to let it wash over him and to never let anyone see that hes been upset by it. No one can be invited to everything and it could be either oversight or the people getting married were not fussed about his presence.
Whatever it doesnt matter, its not like hes lost a leg or someone has beaten him up or something. Its nothing to get upset about.
It would have probably been boring and rubbish anyway a lot of weddings are very dull.

duchy

FBaby wrote: »

So you would happen to have enough space for a whole team bare one and you would exclude that one randomly?

Since when did "the majority of the team" mean all bar one ?
The lad is one of the younger players -for all we know the couple may be closer to the other lads' parents . After all the OP wasn't invited although her sister was - and she doesn't seem to think that is strange. Perhaps the lads who were invited were invited because their parents were too?
I think the OP is transferring some of her social issues to her son and needs to stop worrying.

Hermia

stormbreaker wrote: »

He didn't look or expect an invite, but never considered for a minute that most of the team would be invited.

He is not a man of many words, but I think he is truly gutted if not a little hurt.

Could the bits I have bolded be the reason? I have seen this happen with group situations. Some people are quite vocal about how they would love to be invited, whereas some people don't like to say anything. And unfortunately people will tend to assume the person who has not said anything/expressed an interest does not care about going. In a situation where they might need to keep numbers down they may choose to go with the most enthusiastic potential guests.