Should People Have Children If They Cant Afford Them

gettingtheresometime

TBeckett100 wrote: »

And why not? Society is a business. The system needs tax revenues to keep the whole thing going. what is the point in having a load of no hopers breeding like rabbits?

Take Africa. What Bob Geldof should have given them was the snip. No point 30 years later still banging on about it, some places on earth are very inhospitable. It's the process of natural selection

And I bet you think Hitler had a lousy PR team????

kingfisherblue

Heffi1 wrote: »

I read the OP to mean, having kids when you can't afford them, i.e. being out of work and expecting the rest of the country to pick up the tab.

If you are working and providing for your family then all well and good, but if you need the country to pay you to do it, then I think you should wait and save a bit of your own money to raise your own child

Whilst I agree with this, you cannot predict what will happen. I was married when I had my three children. My husband worked full time and I worked part time. We could afford our mortgage on a three bedroom semi in our home town (North West England).


One of our sons was born with major disabilities. His first surgery was when he was nine hours old. I gave up work and for the first time ever, I claimed benefits (DLA and Carer's Allowance). Fast forward five years. My husband left me and our children to start a new family elsewhere. I couldn't work due my son's needs. Childcare for children with disabilities is almost non-existant, and what is available tends to be far more expensive than regular childcare. I had to claim income support and child tax credits.


Almost ten years later, I am still on benefits. It isn't through choice, but through circumstance. My son will never live independently, and will need care for the rest of his life. Without government help, I couldn't afford to feed and clothe him. So at the moment, it has to be said that I can't afford children (without financial help from the government). But I could when they were born.


Nobody knows what life will throw at them. It has been suggested that I get a part time job during school hours, but with appointments at two hospitals, plus various clinics, I would often need time off. In addition, as I am still up during the night seeing to my son's needs, I sometimes sleep when he is at school, as I need to catch up. Even doing basic things when you are exhausted is a major challenge.


So yes, I could afford to have children, but life changed. The OP's question has too many variables to answer properly.

bluelass

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

What are you classing as "can't afford" can't afford to feed them? Can't afford to clothe them? Because in this country we have benefits in place to mean that you get help towards the cost of the child. (Might not be much but you certainly can get help) so I don't understand who would be classed as not being able to afford a child. This isn't an attack on the op I'm genuinely asking who you mean. I have a child and in his 20 months he hasn't cost me half as much as I thought he would

Firstly my congratulations on your boy:) What I mean is their is a women in my family circle who is always pleading hardship. Herself and her partner come out with (net) £700 or just over every week but she claims they cant afford luxuries like designer childrens clothes and now its fancy chrismas presents, she wants to buy him a wooden playhouse costing £1500 but oh no she cant afford it and is asking me and my hub. She and her other half smoke 20 a day each and she has a box of thorntons continental chocs everyday. Yes she has to pay nursery fees but gets childcare vouchers and child benefit. Loads of bottles of fizzy pop too at least two 2 litre bottles of coca cola each day too. And as you might have guessed she is obese. Her OH wanted to wait a year longer to start a family (child is 2 now) but she claims a dr told her if she didn't try before she was 30 it wouldn't happen.

bluelass

double_mummy wrote: »

a child only costs as much as you spend on them they can cost a little bit or a lot

Depends if you want designer clothes and fancy gifts constantly for them.

supersaver2

Seems obvious to me. Only have children when you are in a position to support them financially and emotionally. Clearly if you fall on hard times when your children are here as some have described on here, then that is exactly what benefits should be for.

balletshoes

bluelass wrote: »

Firstly my congratulations on your boy:) What I mean is their is a women in my family circle who is always pleading hardship. Herself and her partner come out with (net) £700 or just over every week but she claims they cant afford luxuries like designer childrens clothes and now its fancy chrismas presents, she wants to buy him a wooden playhouse costing £1500 but oh no she cant afford it and is asking me and my hub. She and her other half smoke 20 a day each and she has a box of thorntons continental chocs everyday. Yes she has to pay nursery fees but gets childcare vouchers and child benefit. Loads of bottles of fizzy pop too at least two 2 litre bottles of coca cola each day too. And as you might have guessed she is obese. Her OH wanted to wait a year longer to start a family (child is 2 now) but she claims a dr told her if she didn't try before she was 30 it wouldn't happen.

sounds like these people can afford to have their child?

sulphate

I think there has to be a balance.

I think saying you shouldn't afford children unless you can do without child tax credits etc is a bit of a generalisation when you don't know the full circumstances. I also don't believe that it's fair to say that a couple with a low household income shouldn't ever have children. I do also believe in the saying "if you waited until you could afford children you'd never have them". And I think sometimes people are very quick to judge others when they may not know full circumstances i.e. if their circumstances have changed since having children.

An argument on the other side, my cousin works full time and pays a mortgage on his own house, whilst his girlfriend doesn't work and lives in a 4 bedroom council house with 3 children (although one of them is now an adult and in the army). If my cousin lived with her all the time she would lose most of her benefits so he goes back to his house a couple of nights a week. DH and I both work and at the moment a small 2 bedroom house is all we can afford. We are expecting our first child, I have wanted a baby for about 3 years but we waited to try until we were able to afford our own house and for DH to be out of uni/working. We are not in recipient of any benefits, when baby comes we will get child benefit. I am not suggesting we should be entitled to any more but I think the system is designed to be taken advantage of and only when that stops will people not be able to use children as an incentive for government money/an excuse not to work.

I think relying on family is different - if family members want to help a couple with raising a child that's up to them, only OK if they are available and willing to help. The vast majority of working parents I know do rely on their own parents to help (varied amounts) with childcare therefore saving them ££ in childcare fees.

bluelass

balletshoes wrote: »

sounds like these people can afford to have their child?

They can. But with my hubby being a first time granddad she thinks its a privledge and he should buy or give whatever she wants for the child. everytime we see her its oh I seen this or that for him but its such a price. Does anyone know what im saying now?

balletshoes

bluelass wrote: »

They can. But with my hubby being a first time granddad she thinks its a privledge and he should buy or give whatever she wants for the child. everytime we see her its oh I seen this or that for him but its such a price. Does anyone know what im saying now?

nope - if she wants to kit her child out in designer everything, she foots the bill.

*max*

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Poor people fill their council houses with kids and use them as an income.
Middle class have what they can afford, usually one or two because they have to foot the bill

The government needs to do state vasectomies when a man applies for benefits and reverse it when he finds a job. Otherwise a benefits couple end up having 4 kids who largely become no hopers and those four will have 4 each so the next generation sees 4 second generation middle class working to support 16 poor class children, and so it continues.

This got 5 "thanks" (at the time of posting, no doubt it'll be more!).

Awesome. Really, awesome. This makes me so, so glad I chose the UK as my home.