I really really want to be........mortgage free!

shangaijimmy

Totally with you OCC. Amounts are all relative though. Our approach to get us disciplined to set weekly spends was initially to start the week with £50 each. Then each Sunday we would top up back to that set amount. If Mrs SJ was saving for anything on particular shed just put it seperate and start again. Things much more relaxed now but we're disciplined and don't waste money. In all honesty I literally spend nothing on myself! My spend is generally ice creams, swimming,soft play etc for the kids.

ourcornercottage

shangaijimmy wrote: »

Totally with you OCC. Amounts are all relative though. Our approach to get us disciplined to set weekly spends was initially to start the week with £50 each. Then each Sunday we would top up back to that set amount. If Mrs SJ was saving for anything on particular shed just put it seperate and start again. Things much more relaxed now but we're disciplined and don't waste money. In all honesty I literally spend nothing on myself! My spend is generally ice creams, swimming,soft play etc for the kids.

To be honest I don't think either of us buy a lot for ourselves with the money. We have to be a bit relaxed as BF isn't naturally frugal so would rebel if was on too much of a tight lead! On a loose rain he would spend everything we have. It's a balancing act and he does well really to control the spending urges most of the time.

As we get dividends and paye separately our way is a little convoluted as we want to be maximising our paye for tax reasons but this is our payments to each of our personal accounts. Hence why we then take some out for food, some bills, savings etc. I know it sounds mad.

I think next month I may try to be super freugal for a month as a challenge.

ourcornercottage

hiddenshadow wrote: »

We each have £150 per month. I've averaged £115.51 over the last year, DH has averaged £142.17. We've both been quite good about taking lunch in to work (no spending there), so mine tends to be used for craft supplies and DH buys DVDs like nobody's business.

Could you try amazon prime /Netflix / kodi instead of the DVDs. We've had prime for years and have kodi on a fire stick too and haven't brought a dvd in at least a year.

AlexLK

ourcornercottage wrote: »

Alex, we each have our own personal spends account these are 2 totally separate bank accounts which our company wages go into (not dividends) on first day of the month we take from that food, tutor, Miniocc school savings, after school clubs at the end of that we have just less than £500 each this is our personal spends allowance which is very generous in my opinion.

I save £250 of mine straight away and id say probably at least another £50 goes to the mortgage and £20 to minis subs. The savings and mortgage payments are my choice, last year I paid for my 2 courses I wanted to do from personal spends. I prob have about £180 per month but access to more if I need it from the £250 saved.

Forgot to say earlier that personal spends also include presents for birthdays and Christmas too. The BF only saves £50 per month but tends to pay for more of the fun stuff and also buys most of the presents. He also contrives about £20 per month to subs. He is more rubbish with money than me but I'd say his personal spends after presents and fun stuff are £300 per month.

I used to spend £5 per day on work lunches. Now I just make lunch and save the £100 per month. That's personal choice though. If she enjoys eating out and you and little lk get the same amount of money to go do as you wish with that's democracy in action. Personally I think it's rather a lot and if you go out to eat too often it's no longer a treat so isn't enjoyed as much. Just my opinion though

Thanks, OOC.

We do things differently. All incomes go into our joint account and we've no set "pocket money".

My wife sometimes takes her own lunch, usually if I ask whether she'd like the same as our son is taking to school. She likes spending time with her friends and going out on Friday evenings with her work colleagues. Completely agree re. eating out. Wife eats out a lot and then spends every evening going to the gym after work. These days I usually spend less than £50 p/m on myself and son's interests cost very little, fortunately. We have nothing left at the end of the month after our bills, Mrs K's personal spends and a small OP is paid. This month Mrs K has agreed to a frugal month, though.

ourcornercottage

AlexLK wrote: »

Thanks, OOC.

We do things differently. All incomes go into our joint account and we've no set "pocket money".

My wife sometimes takes her own lunch, usually if I ask whether she'd like the same as our son is taking to school. She likes spending time with her friends and going out on Friday evenings with her work colleagues. Completely agree re. eating out. Wife eats out a lot and then spends every evening going to the gym after work. These days I usually spend less than £50 p/m on myself and son's interests cost very little, fortunately. We have nothing left at the end of the month after our bills, Mrs K's personal spends and a small OP is paid. This month Mrs K has agreed to a frugal month, though.

I really would recommend having 2 separate personal spends accounts. If the total spends per month is approx £1050 then you get £525 each and that's all. The way for you to do it would be for put all money income in joint account then have a standing order to your personal spends account monthly.

Don't take offence but your set up currently doesn't seem that fair to you and little Lk. I'm sure mrslk would not want to change current set up for obvious reasons.

edinburgher

Alex - urgh! Sometimes when I read your posts I am mentally making a whip cracking noise in my head :rotfl:

It sounds like you could use a bit of work on your financial harmony as a couple. As it stands, Mrs K is the breadwinner and the current power dynamic is that she can pretty much do what she likes because you will accept it because you have low self esteem about what you bring to the table (both literally and figuratively) and because you're more frugal by nature.

Unless you challenge the status quo it will not change, even when your parents eventually leave you a property empire. At this point, you'll have 'the power' in your mind, but a) you'll not know how to exert it and b) your wife will think 'I'm fine with my own money, so it makes no difference to me that Alex is now minted'.

At that point, you'll either ignore it because you'll both be too busy having money baths, or you'll focus on some other aspect of her temperament that you don't like and that will become the new focus of what's 'wrong'.

Your wife sounds like a woman who knows her own mind and enjoys herself because she isn't challenged. Do you enjoy yourself?

*Edit: because it's always fun to compare notes, we live in the blissful socialist state of edinburghertopia (with overtones of benevolent paternalism). We earn vastly differing amounts, we receive an equal share of any surplus resources (from salary) based on no more than 20% of salaries being spent on fun and what happens to the rest of our money is guided by an investment policy.

It might sound a bit cold, but it helps to take the emotion out of things.

hiddenshadow

ourcornercottage wrote: »

Could you try amazon prime /Netflix / kodi instead of the DVDs. We've had prime for years and have kodi on a fire stick too and haven't brought a dvd in at least a year.

I'd be quite happy to do that. (We already have/use prime, and I've used Netflix in the past.) DH is the "collector" type, though. If it were up to me we'd have a few dozen favourite DVDs (I moved to the UK with about 20), but DH is really into films and commentaries and different editions and who knows what else. At least now he's only spending £150/mo, I shudder to think how much of his pay went to DVDs before/when we were dating!

smcqis

The end is in sight...I have been stuck on a 5 year fix at 4.39% at Nationwide since taking out my mortgage. Following overpayments of 500 a month, Im not in position I can clear my mortgage, however cant cos of ERC. Within the last 3 months of fixed period so I have switched to tracker (no fees, unlimited overpayment) so I can pay off next month rather than wait additional 2 months on my fixed.

How does the redemption fee work? Do you pay it at time of paying mortage off or billed at a later date?

hiddenshadow

smcqis wrote: »

How does the redemption fee work? Do you pay it at time of paying mortage off or billed at a later date?

It's paid when the mortgage leaves the lender, either because you've paid in full or you're switching lenders. You'd need to ask your lender how they handle this fee. Looking here http://www.nationwide.co.uk/support/support-articles/rates-fees-charges/mortgage-fees-and-charges/ending-your-mortgage#tab:Endingyourmortgage it looks like it may only apply if you've cut your term short by 10+ years. Congrats on being close to paying off your mortgage!

ourcornercottage

smcqis wrote: »

The end is in sight...I have been stuck on a 5 year fix at 4.39% at Nationwide since taking out my mortgage. Following overpayments of 500 a month, Im not in position I can clear my mortgage, however cant cos of ERC. Within the last 3 months of fixed period so I have switched to tracker (no fees, unlimited overpayment) so I can pay off next month rather than wait additional 2 months on my fixed.

How does the redemption fee work? Do you pay it at time of paying mortage off or billed at a later date?

Id just give your local branch a call or even better call in and double check. Well done on having paid off your mortgage though