Normal or OCD

FredG

As other posters have stated, this sounds more like something from the personality end of the spectrum rather than OCD.

It's hard but the only way to know for sure is to get the other half to the doctors for a proper assessment. I am guessing she'll be pretty resistant as whatever it is definitely has a strong element of control and order but I thought I'd chime in anyway.

I have a close family member with a combination of narcissistic and borderline personality disorder and it's been a particularly destructive element in my life. It sounds like your situation hasn't reached those levels but the day to day frustrations aren't easy to live with.

Hope your situation gets better.

squiggles

geoffken wrote: »

OK
Some background here.
Both just into 70s,
Retired in small bungalow and comfortable.
I wonder at some of my wife’s foibles.
1: Have a leather recliner from IKEA for 11 years which has not been allowed to be sat in without a throw on it.
The plastic covering on the footrest has been on for 10 years before I was finally allowed to remove it as it was finally collapsing.
2: Bathroom light cord has cling film to keep it clean.
Always removed when people call.
3: Not allowed to enter house by front door.
Always have to wait for my wife to open garage door for me to enter even when we are coming home together.
4: Anything on my work desk has to be aligned each night.
5: We have a kitchen table which has protective coating to enable hot cups to be placed on it.
We have a thin table cloth in four thicknesses with a thick table cloth also 4 thicknesses and place mats on top of that even when we have cold meals.
I could offer more examples but would welcome opinions.

For no2 could you not change the bathroom cord to a coloured one. Even a colour that matches your decor would stay cleaner than white cord if you do not fancy a dark colour.

You can buy any colour cord at most sewing/craft shops, hey you can even get multicoloured and glittery ones as well.

I cringe when I see scruffy stringed light pulls if I visit someone's bathroom and I don't have OCD.

meritaten

ok - if you have discoloured light pulls - then bleach on cotton wool packed around the string and covered with cling film and left overnight, leaves them pristine in the morning! Lemon juice works too if you don't like bleach.

TBagpuss

Her behaviours do sound fairly unusual, but the key issue is what you are comfortable living with - try to reach a compromise you are both comfortable with.

Perhaps a starting point would be to sit down with her and to discuss the issue - try not be critical, but to frame it as how you feel - e.g. that being told not to use the front door makes you feel that you are treated as a guest, rather than being your home,

Try to think of compromises - for instance, that she doesn't 'tidy' your desk but you do use the extra mats etc for the table.