Normal or OCD

unholyangel

Most people misunderstand OCD and think they have it when they don't.

OCD is not merely being particular/fussy/liking things done a certain way and you haven't given nearly enough information to be able to determine whether your wife does suffer from OCD or not.

An OCD sufferer will religiously check cookers arent turned on for fear of an explosion, or scrubbing your hands red raw after shaking hands with someone in case they have "contaminated" you.

The clue is in the name really, its not just having these thoughts but obsessively and compulsively having these thoughts.

Someone who has OCD will not seek to blame someone else (ie "you're not doing it right, you MUST do it my way"), that is signs of a controlling personality. An OCD sufferer knows their fears are irrational and for that reason usually dont like to talk about them because they know its irrational, they know the "issue" is theirs and not someone elses.

Its not just about the behaviour they exhibit - "normal" people can exhibit OCD behaviour at times - it is the thought process behind it that makes it OCD or not.

Although I would be careful about throwing around the word "normal". As what we mean when we say normal is ordinary/usual - when really whats ordinary is far from normal!

I know you didnt mean it like that and were asking if your wife perhaps has issues, it was just the phrasing used. IMO she has issues, but whether it stems from OCD or not isnt something we can diagnose from just a few examples.

pollypenny

She sounds a bit controlling to me. Sorry.

I can just imagine me telling OH what he can't do in our home.

Errata

pollypenny wrote: »

She sounds a bit controlling to me. Sorry.

I can just imagine me telling OH want he can't do in our home.

Possibly, but you can't control someone who's not amenable to being controlled.
The OP gives no indication if his wife's behaviour is long standing or has arrived like a bolt from the blue. If the forrmer - it takes two to tango, if the latter perhaps a quiet chat with the GP may be helpful.

Nicki

Errata wrote: »

Possibly, but you can't control someone who's not amenable to being controlled.
The OP gives no indication if his wife's behaviour is long standing or has arrived like a bolt from the blue. If the forrmer - it takes two to tango, if the latter perhaps a quiet chat with the GP may be helpful.

In his OP he said the furniture has been shrink wrapped for 11years since it was purchased. That sounds quite long standing to me!

meritaten

OCD isn't a problem unless it BECOMES a problem. you have posted on here, so I think either she is getting worse or HER OCD is now becoming a problem to you. Can you talk calmly to her about it? does she recognise that she has a problem? would she be willing to seek help? because in many cases it IS treatable.

Errata

Nicki wrote: »

In his OP he said the furniture has been shrink wrapped for 11years since it was purchased. That sounds quite long standing to me!

It does to me too, but he decided to put up with it - nobody else.

KxMx

What is her reaction if something isn't done as she wants- that may give you come clues?

Ie, does she get a bit cross or panic etc?

getmore4less

getmore4less wrote: »

You are the one with the problem.

Marisco wrote: »

You are joking yes? You think all those things listed in the op is normal behaviour??? :eek:

jaylee3 wrote: »

I thought that post was out of order too.

The behaviour of the OP's wife is clearly unusual.

Depends how you look at it, IMO the OP has a problem.

A. he is happy,

Which questions why you would accept such a situation in your on home

B. He is not happy.

Has done nothing about it.

geoffken

Wow,
Thanks for all the replies.
I am afraid that she gets defensive/aggressive when questioned.
I have tried softly softly as well as refusing to accede to her demands but in the end I have to give way as atmosphere is just too bad.
Looks like I have made my bed by accepting earlier.
I used to work away a lot so it was not too bad at weekends but now retired it is wearing.and just hope it does not get any worse as we get older.
Thanks again for your thoughts.

Nicki

If you have been working away from home for years she probably has got quite set in her ways and will see attempts to change those ways as annoying. That doesn't mean however that it's her way or the highway!

In your shoes I would tackle things little by little. I'd start off with the things which were most personal to me like the desk and just not tidy it at night and if she tries to do so ask her sharply not to touch your things. New items of furniture I would unwrap when they come into the house and refuse to buy furniture in perishable colours stating expressly there is no point if that will just mean it needs to be permanently covered.

I would also come and go through whichever door suited me best. Realistically is she going to physically prevent you? If she argues, tell her she is bring ridiculous or tell her if she only wants one person to enter via the main door, she can stand on the step and you will open the garage door for her!

The table being covered and the light switch cord I think is odd but I personally could live with this provided I wasn't expected to do anything about it myself. If she wants to replace tablecloths and cling film she could knock herself out though.