How do you approach present buying when budgets differ?

peachyprice

Grand gestures aren't necessary for a baby's first christmas, just buy her something nice to wear and a little momento.

Fitzmichael

gloriouslyhappy wrote: »

Talk to him,

Yes, what a good idea, actually talking about it with your own brother. In general, I've long thought passing presents between adults was a bit senseless, other than for non-annual occasions.

KatyI

Its your niece....and if you want to spend a lot on her that's your prerogative, just ensure your brother knows that you don't expect anything back and that they shouldn't feel they have to match it...'cause they don't...its a gift because you love her!


Happy Christmas!

meknowalot-51

This is their first xmas with their new daughter so i doubt if your present is going to be given much thought by them.Whenever you give or recieve presents the amount spent is irrelevant,what truly matters is that you've bothered to show you care.In our family there are some high earners as well as those on benefits,we treat them all the same and the cost is never gone into.We've gone to car boots before and found some bargains for the grandkids,a week or so later it's been wrapped up and given as a birthday present.The grandchildren look at the present,not the cost,so perhaps you could do the same.

Fitzmichael

ec81 wrote: »

christmas is about the children

If we remembered this - and ditto for birthdays etc - the children would almost certainly be better-off, and the adults close enough to you to warrant (token) presents would presumably be happy to see your concern for their children. But the adults, too, in other ways, like not having to figure out what to buy for others.
I long ago told the few relatives who would think of buying me presents that 1) anything I need I can afford and so will have, 2) some things I would like I don't have, though I can afford them, because I don't think they're worth the money, mine or anyone elses's (awfully old-fashioned I know but I'm sure there are some firms you'd love to see bankrupt) and 3) those things I would like but can't afford (in the sense that I'm old enough to prefer to keep the money to pass on to the grandchildren) are too expensive for others to pay for.

tim_n

My child is 2, this is his 2nd christmas.

His first Christmas we told everyone to lay off the expensive gifts, to put money into his bank account because he had literally everything he needed.

Everything he had was 2nd hand, mostly bought off facebook 2nd hand groups (this is clothing, toys, crib, pretty much everything).

We would not have appreciated big lavish gifts because even though we've got a big house, it was full of baby junk already.

I'd ask the brother. But the child is very unlikely to remember their first Christmas so we didn't really make a fuss. This year he's had his 2nd birthday, understands the concepts of presents and is geared up for it.

ViolaLass

If he's had his second birthday, wouldn't this be his third Christmas? (Not that that invalidates anything else you said)

happyinflorida

Why don't people talk?!

Ask your brother and his wife, discuss it in full with them.

duchy

JayD wrote: »

Parents, new ones in particular, want (and have a right ) to have the glow of seeing their child's delight at something THEY gave them at Christmas and this should never be overshadowed by other relatives' gifts. Grandparents are often guilty of doing this.

.

What a horrible attitude - a gift is simply a gift.
Why should a child lose out just because their parents would be resentful that they couldn't afford/didn't think of - to give the child that gift themselves. The child will still "glow with happiness" whoever's name is on the gift tag.

I don't believe many parents are that selfish or feel it's a competition.

Parents don't "have the right" to deprive their children of things just because they aren't the giver. Well legally they might but morally they don't !