How do you approach present buying when budgets differ?

Ebenezer_Screwj

I am not particularly religious, but when are people ever going to understand and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas? It has been distorted into a hideous syndrome of gross over indulgence and false bonhomie, bolstered by competitive over spending. Give what you can afford and be grateful for what you receive. As for children, they are now so full of their own self importance, it is doubtful if the majority of them will ever make worthwhile adults.

pinmoney

As a parent of a son now in his twenties, looking back we never had much money to spend on extravagant presents and let other members of the family spoil him, or teamed up to buy larger items. I wish now that i had asked family members (particularly g/parents) to buy something smaller and put a donation away into an ISA or similar savings account for University /driving lessons/ deposit on a flat or house and allow him access when he was 18. At 16 if he had money in the morning it wasn't there when he came home....

Sarah_mc_2

Instead of getting a present with a high monetary value, why not put the time and effort into making something that the whole family can treasure? For example, you could use an app like iMovie (I'm sure there are others but I'm not that clued up on them I'm afraid) to make a video montage of family photos, including lots of the baby, and add their favourite songs as background music. Transfer it to a DVD, print a nice cover for the case and you've got a lovely personal gift which is sure to be appreciated. Not only that, it wouldn't cost much. You could always give a small toy for the baby as well if you felt you wanted to spend more money.

gaving7095

Ask your brother...
But honestly - what can you buy for a 0 to 1 year-old which is even still appropriate or useful in even just another 6 months time?

elliep_2

I would consider buying something small (in a box, with crinkly paper) for Christmas, and let your brother know that you'd like to give another gift at the beginning of the summer. You could get the next size up of clothes or outdoor toys or similar.

She'll most likely have more than she needs of everything and will get plenty of Christmas presents so your brother might appreciate you waiting and giving her something when she hasn't got loads of other stuff.

Obviously that depends when her birthday is as she'll get a load more then. And communication is the key. Speak to your brother and his wife, let them know what you're thinking and that you don't expect reciprocation, and listen to their thoughts and respect their wishes.

Fujiko

jellybrains wrote: »

Buy something not too extravagant and put some money in her bank account (if she has one) for her future. My Mum has done this every Christmas and birthday for my children and its great as we don't end up with loads of massive presents and they have a little nest egg (that they don't even know about yet)!

I think this is the most sensible suggestion I have seen. Of course you will want to give your new niece a special gift, but at her age and even a year or two later she is not going to know whether it came from Poundland or Harrods and may well be more interested in the wrapping paper! Putting money away for her each year possibly until she is 18 is a really thoughtful gift.
By the way, I have never heard of anyone resenting or feeling embarrassed about their children having far more expensive gifts than are given to the grown-ups but instead feel happy that someone better off than them is so fond of their child.

mum2one

For my thoughts my daughter is 12yrs old been a single mum since day one, I'm an only child myself and at that point in time her fathers side were not aware of her existence.

If it was me and I had niece - 1st Xmas - I would buy a nice piece of jewellery for when the baby is and she can appriciate it, for my daughters 1st Xmas I brought her a silver charm bracelet and over time have added charms to it,

Clothes they grow out of so quick, toys theres a lot of choice but how much will get played with, jewellery you can't go wrong with xx

XRAT

First present? I say don't be a spoiler! (Don't ask and spoil the surprise.)
Get what you like the child won't remember, then apologise to your brother/sister-in-law and promise you won't do it again and gauge the response.
If they are happy with it at the time, make sure to ask them to tell you if you ever go over the top.

Anouchka

This used to happen in my household. I was a single parent, often having to think about how to make ends meet. My brother's family are very well off and are generous to a fault. Every year they either gave my son an expensive gift or, as he grew up, a large cheque. Every year their gift would massively "outrank" mine. On occasion I felt quite miffed (probably jealous if I'm honest) about this but my son was always delighted so I kept my feelings to my self.

Sulevia

Hmm... depends on the relationship between you and them ... but "if it was me", with my sisters, I would ...
buy a 'regular' present plus give my sister some money to either open a savings account of some kind for the child or to buy extra things for the child, whatever she felt was appropriate. Plus a tactful and sensitive conversation to make sure she didn't take it the wrong way.