How do you approach present buying when budgets differ?

aileth

I'd talk to the brother about it, but this sort of thing really varies per family.

My side couldn't give a damn about what's spent. Could spend less than a fiver and they would be more than happy, or you could spend £80 and they would be more than happy, although probably questioning why I'd spend £80 on a present!

OH's side however there's always an atmosphere at Christmas, like it's a spending competition. It used to really bother me early on, but now I don't give a damn, although there is certainly no danger of being 'too generous' with them and being insensitive, considering they buy the kids laptops/tablets for Xmas.

They get a £10 Toys R Us voucher now, which will probably go to a £20 Amazon one when they get older.

tgroom57

I can see how 'just ask' might compound the problem.
A one-year old isn't having any firm ideas about what she wants for Christmas, surely. Just something cuddly to unwrap, probably.
If I was in your position I might get a moderate gift for the one-year old, and then a gift card for eg Mothercare, Boots to give to the parents for her, with the advantage that they might get reductions in the January sale. But depending of course on where they most likely or can reasonably shop. I won a Mothercare £100 gift card some years back and it turned out to be very useful over the year. (til the local store closed)

Another idea you mght consider is to save your enthusiasm for a big(ger) present for when it isn't Christmas or birthdays, so that it isn't associated with them reciprocating.

Merry Christmas all.

Spendless

oldtrout wrote: »

How do we know any of them are real? Still not seen any feedback, EVER, on what any OP decided to do after we all gave our opinion on here.

Agreed and is the reason I very, very rarely comment on them. I suspect many feel the same way, which is why I'm posting this reply, just in case it does get read.

millysg1

He might not mind at all how much you spend.

For both my niece and nephew's first Christmas', My sister didn't buy them anything! Not because they couldn't afford to but they knew the babies were going to get A LOT of presents from the family and choose to save their money to buy things later in the year when they needed other new things. For their first Christmas, they don't understand so my sister thought it was the best idea. They got so much anyway!

joehoover

Get what you feel like, there's a middle ground of a reasonable amount to spend. Or instead of buying expensive gifts, get cheaper ones so they have something to open and then take the whole family for a day out.

I'm in a similar scenario and think I dented their pride when I suggested what I wanted to do.

PBurton

It's possible they don't want at Christmas, but would like things when their daughter is a bit older.

I agree - talk to them about it. And give them the gift that is beyond price - you.

Augustus_the_Strong

It's not necessarily the case that something they would really love needs to be something expensive.

But, then again, for us time has often been in shorter supply than money. If I see something really nice but a bit expensive, I'd get it, rather than spend ages looking for something equally nice that doesn't cost as much.

Also, present exchange doesn't have to be exactly matching - otherwise why not do a mutual bank transfer? Or just don't bother with it at all. The whole thing has got out of hand, as Martin has pointed out.

idbridge

I agree with above, buy a small present and give a generous Mothercare gift card, so they can buy something useful

Augustus_the_Strong

oldtrout wrote: »

PS ... These so called MMDs haven't been labelled as 'hypothetical' MMDs recently.

How do we know any of them are real?

Does it matter whether it's real or not? You can still have an opinion.

bzd

When there are more children and the big presents are piling up, make sure you offer to pay for the extension to put them in too