How do you approach present buying when budgets differ?

JayD

Parents, new ones in particular, want (and have a right ) to have the glow of seeing their child's delight at something THEY gave them at Christmas and this should never be overshadowed by other relatives' gifts. Grandparents are often guilty of doing this.

You are talking about your brother - not just an acquaintance here - so I suggest you talk to him. Explain how delighted you are to have a niece and how you have seen whatever it is and that you would so very much like to buy it for her for Christmas. Then ask him if he and his wife would mind very much if you did - or if there is something else they would like you to buy for her instead.

I am always cautious of treading on parents' toes, or filling their homes with things they just don't want or need, so I always ask what the parents would like me to buy for their children, or if there is anything that they would not want me to get e.g clothes, a certain toy etc

Communication is the key I think.

fresian_cow

Definitely ask but they may not mind. My brother and sister in law earn significantly more than we do and always buy my daughter extravagant gifts. My other sister in law buys something more moderate that's within her budget. As long as my brother doesn't mind spending his money then I don't mind him doing it, its his money. At the end of the day you don't give to receive. And although the parents may be aware of the cost of the gifts, it takes a long time for children to understand the difference in value between a pot of play doh and a laptop. To them it's just a present.

Mattygroves2

bzd wrote: »

When there are more children and the big presents are piling up, make sure you offer to pay for the extension to put them in too

I've got a nephew and a brother without children who buys a huge pile of presents for the nephew for Christmas, birthday and any time in between if he sees something. So my sister has insisted that most of these live at my brother's house (nephew is there at least one day a week) and he has had to have an extension built to house them as well as boarding his loft out to accommodate the train set and scalextric set !

In our family there isn't a problem - my sister just rolls her eyes when the boxes appear. I am also in a far better financial position than my sister but give cash or cash and whatever practical thing is needed.

tallgirld

I would just spend what I am comfortable with no matter how much money I have or haven't got.

£20 that's it!

jellybrains

Buy something not too extravagant and put some money in her bank account (if she has one) for her future. My Mum has done this every Christmas and birthday for my children and its great as we don't end up with loads of massive presents and they have a little nest egg (that they don't even know about yet)!

gloriouslyhappy

oldtrout wrote: »

Your niece is a baby and will only appreciate cardboard boxes this year

And wrapping paper, especially the crinkly noisy kind, it's the parents who'll appreciate the present while the baby eats the packaging!

anotheruser

Why is the question: "I can't decide how much I want to spend?".

Why have you put a value on it?

Search for the right GIFT and give that. Of course there is a limit, but don't make it about the money you are spending, it's about the gift you're giving!

AuntyTee

I always ask. My brother has 3 children. I don't have any. They're not bothered at the moment about brands or specific toys so I usually get something small to open, then give a cash present to put towards something bigger for the future - like technology (they'll want an iPad soon!), or a family day out. However, if you live nearby, you can never give enough time - babysitting, meals for the freezer, ironing services etc.

pennypinchUK

As it's your niece's first Christmas, how about splashing out the amount you want to spend and saying to your brother "It's more than we normally spend but as it's her first Christmas we want to treat her".

That way, you've given an explanation why you've spent the amount you have, you've not set a precedent and they shouldn't feel uncomfortable.

ViolaLass

JayD wrote: »

Parents, new ones in particular, want (and have a right ) to have the glow of seeing their child's delight at something THEY gave them at Christmas and this should never be overshadowed by other relatives' gifts. Grandparents are often guilty of doing this.

Can we watch the generalisations please? My daughter will be 5 months old at Christmas. She wants to be fed and changed on demand; she won't know what day it is nor will I be getting her presents or counting on her 'delight'.