Helping a Friend In Need

Orlando_Virgin

All,

Just want your opinions on this. My friend is about to break up with his wife of 7 years and obviously is in a very difficult place at the moment. He is one of my good friends and has been there for me in some difficult times.

Anyway, I have recently got a place of my own after house sharing for pretty much the last 10 years on and off, and I was really looking forward to having my own space etc. after all this time. He has asked if he can move in with me whilst he sorts things out with his ex.

I really want to help out and I really want to be there for him but I've only just bloody got in on my own!! Any advice, I hope I don't appear selfish but I guess I am being a little bit. Should I just suck it up and do it for a friend? Because I know he would for me.

Stevie_Palimo

If he is a friend then there should be no need to ask this.

FBaby

I'd be there for him. You'be been waiting long, so this is just a little bit longer. It's a pain but true friendships are worth much more. Grit your teeth, make rules clear, and give a deadline, then be there for your friend who desperately need you at this moment.

Artytarty

I think you have answered your own question I your lost "suck it up"!
Because you are a decent human being, I think you will feel bad if you don't do this for him.

RAS

Explain that you have been looking forward to having space of your own and want to ensure that you remin best buddies but that you can help out for a very limited period, say 3 months maximum.

You can do this under the rent a room scheme.

Set house rules and make sure he contributes enough to cover your expenses. That give him time to find somewhere new (ask for one week's notice wheh he wants to leave.).

SandC

I agree with the others, suck it up and help out, as you said you know he would so it's not one of those friendships where it's always take on one part and give on the other.

See it as a good way to adjust to having your own place with having a financial contribution from your friend while you settle in.

You are doing a good thing and he is lucky to have you around.

Georgiegirl256

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

Because I know he would for me.

There's your answer then. If he would for you, and he's a real friend, then why on earth would you even have to stop and think about it?

Orlando_Virgin

To be honest the reason I'm thinking about it, is because I am in a relationship too and we've been itching to have our own space and she was really excited about us having nights in and stuff together. In my current house we were always forced in to the bedroom (not always the worst of scenarios LOL) and it has become a strain to be honest. I just know that it will disappoint her. But I also know she will understand.

I know in my heart of hearts what the right thing to do is, and I'll always try to be there for any of my good friends. I'm sure our nights in etc are still possible, just need to communicate and be honest with my friend, just the timing of it all that's all.

But you are all right, I would never forgive myself if I didn't do this for a friend!

Thanks all.

LilElvis

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

To be honest the reason I'm thinking about it, is because I am in a relationship too and we've been itching to have our own space and she was really excited about us having nights in and stuff together. In my current house we were always forced in to the bedroom (not always the worst of scenarios LOL) and it has become a strain to be honest. I just know that it will disappoint her. But I also know she will understand.

I know in my heart of hearts what the right thing to do is, and I'll always try to be there for any of my good friends. I'm sure our nights in etc are still possible, just need to communicate and be honest with my friend, just the timing of it all that's all.

But you are all right, I would never forgive myself if I didn't do this for a friend!

Thanks all.

Accept some money from him in rent and then use it to treat yourself and your girlfriend to a holiday.

lulu_92

LilElvis wrote: »

Accept some money from him in rent and then use it to treat yourself and your girlfriend to a holiday.

Excellent idea

fairy_lights

In some ways having him stay with you for a few months might actually be beneficial. If you charge him the going rate for a lodger you can save up a bit of money to furnish and decorate the flat.
Or would he be living with you rent free?