How much to give on a birthday?

Flossie.

purpleshoes wrote: »

As for charity shops. Ive bought stuff in charity shops for myself that hasnt been anywhere near tat. Like a pair of Monsoon jeans new with tags that would have been around £70 to buy. In years gone by when Ive been stuck for cash, Ive bought a couple of things from charity shops for people for presents, not clothes, but if Ive seen a piece of jewellery that I think someone would like Ive bought it.

My mum bought me a silver ring a couple of years ago from the red cross for christmas, its one of my favourite pieces, have worn it since. I also have two necklaces she bought me, I love them.

The presents I give people tend to be a mix of stuff, some charity shop gifts if I see something and I think they'll like it, vouchers. I also pick stuff up in poundland and poundworld, poundworld sells some fantastic arts and craft sets. Plus some alcohol, wine for my mum and a bottle of vodka for my brother, who isnt a big drinker but doesnt say no to some vodka at christmas.

Vouchers and cash are totally acceptable to give people in my view, I also try and put enough thought into what I buy people, no matter how much money I have to spend so that they hopefully don't look at the presents and go urgh no.

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

My point was that people donate good stuff to charity shops because it's of no use to them. Quite possibly unwanted gifts.

Thing is, what was someone else's 'unwanted gift' could be very much wanted by someone else.

I am totally with purple shoes here. I bought LOADS of stuff from charity shops last year that I gave to our daughter for Christmas, and she loved all of the things we gave her.

There is some overpriced crap in charity shops, but as purple shoes said, there is some great stuff too. You could do loads of Christmas present shopping in charity shops for peanuts, and save a fortune. And they will mostly be things that are nice, good quality and not something that someone has picked up from tesco on Christmas eve, because they didn't think about you til then! :rotfl:

purpleshoes_2

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

My point was that people donate good stuff to charity shops because it's of no use to them. Quite possibly unwanted gifts.

Ive never given a gift someone bought me to charity. But if someone gets their 20th bath set of the festive period and does donate it to charity, well hopefully someone else will get the use of it.

I suppose some people from large families or if they work in a job where its the done thing to get lots of presents, might end up overloaded with presents and donate some back. My mums a teacher and she gets loads of gifts, she doesn't offload them to charity but shes given some perfume/bath sets to me over the years because theres only so much stuff she can get through in the one year and she's not really a perfume wearer whereas I am.

Drunk_Monkey

Person_one wrote: »

You'd think receiving a gift you're not that keen on was some sort of terrible hardship or trauma from some of the posts on this thread!

It's just life, and the fact that humans beings are human.

It all depends on why you're giving the present? Is it to benefit you or the recipient? And birthdays are not supposed to be some awful experience in which you're feigning a grateful smile ...

I get the impression that you're buying a present merely to please yourself - and, whether or not the recipient actually wanted that present, such considerations appear to be extraneous. That strikes me as rather impolite and presumptuous. My sister is not 5 years old child, for Christ sake!

Drunk_Monkey

Shen81 wrote: »

On the rare occasions where I have received money, I gave it to charity. A charity would make better use of a cash donation than I would. For me, it's also the suprise of not knowing what the gift is. With an envelope or just a card, you know it's money. This is just my personal preference and every one of us is different. Some prefer money, some don't.

What about your wages?

Would you be happier if they paid you in apples and bananas?

Or, as you say, if it was a big surprise ...

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

I must have been seriously misunderstanding the whole concept of gift giving my whole life then. I thought choice of present was up to the giver...

Are you seriously saying you never asked for something specific when you were younger? My family always ask what I want (and I ask what they want) - we always therefore get something we like.

If you have been getting gifts you're not sure the recipient would like, then yes, you have been doing it wrong.

Person_one

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Are you seriously saying you never asked for something specific when you were younger? My family always ask what I want (and I ask what they want) - we always therefore get something we like.

If you have been getting gifts you're not sure the recipient would like, then yes, you have been doing it wrong.

I was taught to be grateful for presents received and to be thoughtful when buying presents for others. Not to ask outright for people to give me what I want or to shop to order for other people.

Gift giving should be so much more meaningful than it becomes when it's just reduced to just a way to get your mitts on the stuff you want.

purpleshoes_2

I ask what my family want a lot of the time and they ask me what I want. Or my brother has a habit of asking my mum what he thinks I want. Hes really good at buying presents for me, but I struggle for him as hes 35, hes got a couple of jobs, he can pretty much buy stuff he needs for himself and theres only so much aftershave/socks/bloke type combinations of presents someone might want before they would bounce them off your head. Which is why the last couple of years Ive topped up his vodka/chocolate/other assorted bits and pieces with a kindle voucher, that I know he will make use of.

We always make up stocking filler type presents. I know every year that my brother is going to buy me something from the local football clubs shop, but I look forward to it all the same. I give my mum gifts I know she'll like and hopefully make use of. But it can make life a lot easier if you ask people outright is there anything they'd like, christmas and birthdays.

Im personally always grateful that someone has thought of me, I cant ever recall looking at a present someone has bought me and thinking urgh, in fact its usually quite the opposite, Ive been really pleased with presents Ive had. I got an ipod touch a couple of years ago for a birthday and wasn't expecting it, I was amazed that the person had spent that much money on me, if they had rocked up with a £5 bottle of wine and a card Id still have been as pleased, it is the thought that counts, but I think sometimes a pointer on what someone would like helps, particularly when people aren't kids anymore and theyve seen a lot of Christmases.

Buzzybee90

Person_one wrote: »

I was taught to be grateful for presents received and to be thoughtful when buying presents for others. Not to ask outright for people to give me what I want or to shop to order for other people.

Gift giving should be so much more meaningful than it becomes when it's just reduced to just a way to get your mitts on the stuff you want.

Typical ridiculous response. I suppose next time someone asks me I should say "nothing", they will just give me money. I am most grateful and thoughtful when I give gifts, you're jumping on something which most people do - which, as I said, is typical of you.

I absolutely don't believe you've never had this sort of conversation:
1) what would you like for christmas?
2) oh the new Script CD is out, I love them.

Peter333

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Typical ridiculous response. I suppose next time someone asks me I should say "nothing", they will just give me money. I am most grateful and thoughtful when I give gifts, you're jumping on something which most people do - which, as I said, is typical of you.

I absolutely don't believe you've never had this sort of conversation:
1) what would you like for christmas?
2) oh the new Script CD is out, I love them.

I agree. I can't comprehend why someone would flat out buy a gift for someone that they know they won't like. Maybe ask yes, (if you're not sure what they like,) but it seems a bit of a waste of everyone's time, and a bit daft, to buy something someone is not going to like or want.

A bottle of three barrels brandy for me please Buzzybee.

Oh, and the new Taylor Swift calendar, because I like her music. :whistle:

Drunk_Monkey

Person_one wrote: »

I was taught to be grateful for presents received and to be thoughtful when buying presents for others. Not to ask outright for people to give me what I want or to shop to order for other people.

Gift giving should be so much more meaningful than it becomes when it's just reduced to just a way to get your mitts on the stuff you want.

I'm intrigued by what you could possibly mean by your comments in bold.

Surely, the essence of a "meaningful" gift giving enterprise is giving people what they really want. Lots of hugs and kisses. For you, it appears to be some second-world-war dungeon with lots of contrived smiles, stale biscuits and cold tea. After all, we should be grateful !!!!!