How much to give on a birthday?

LilElvis

Person_one wrote: »

I must have been seriously misunderstanding the whole concept of gift giving my whole life then. I thought choice of present was up to the giver...

Of course it is, but it is often fraught with complications - some people have the "knack" of choosing gifts which delight the recipients, others don't. Then there are people who buy something which they would like themselves, believing that as it is so absolutely divine that no-one could be anything but ecstatic to recieve it. What about the children in the family that you see infrequently and whose tastes change more frequently than seasons?

Person_one

LilElvis wrote: »

Of course it is, but it is often fraught with complications - some people have the "knack" of choosing gifts which delight the recipients, others don't. Then there are people who buy something which they would like themselves, believing that as it is so absolutely divine that no-one could be anything but ecstatic to recieve it. What about the children in the family that you see infrequently and whose tastes change more frequently than seasons?

You'd think receiving a gift you're not that keen on was some sort of terrible hardship or trauma from some of the posts on this thread!

It's just life, and the fact that humans beings are human.

System

Person_one wrote: »

You'd think receiving a gift you're not that keen on was some sort of terrible hardship or trauma from some of the posts on this thread!

It's just life, and the fact that humans beings are human.

But why risk it when you could give money (if the recipient was happy to receive such?)

Last year for xmas, two of my siblings got me a gift of nail varnish, nice thought, but because of mu job (i work with food) i can't actually wear it so it was a wasted gift. I felt terrible accepting their gifts knowing they wouldn't be used.

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

You'd think receiving a gift you're not that keen on was some sort of terrible hardship or trauma from some of the posts on this thread!

It's just life, and the fact that humans beings are human.

The thing is, most people would appreciate something that they could actually use rather than receiving something that would go to waste, surely that's only common sense?

If I can see that an effort has been made to buy something that the giver thinks I will like, then I'm always grateful and appreciative to their face....but it doesn't mean I have to like the present though.

I think where their is doubt hen money is the way forward.

theoretica

I am another for the not money side, but acknowledge that this will be different in different families and depend on how tight the recipient's budget is. If I were given cash I would get something I would buy anyway but the best presents are the things I wouldn't have chosen for myself - a book I didn't know existed, my favourite scarf, special chocolates, a cushion made by the giver - and those far outweigh the less well matched gifts in my overall appreciation.

Shen81

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I agree with messedup and purpleshoes.

£60 is very generous. You don't say how old your sister is OP, but I'm guessing she is ummm, under 23/24, and it's not a big birthday (like 18th or 21st.) So tbh, £30 would be OK, and £60 is fab!

I agree that money is appreciated by almost EVERYone. Especially young folk (under 25.) Older people (say middle aged and older,) probably appreciate a gift more, even if it only cost a tenner. (Or even a fiver!) I speak from experience of people I know.

I am neither young nor old (mid 40s,) so I don't mind either (or both even )

And Shen, you are seriously offended when people give you MONEY for your birthday?

I assume that you tell them this then, and that you give the money back to them!

On the rare occasions where I have received money, I gave it to charity. A charity would make better use of a cash donation than I would. For me, it's also the suprise of not knowing what the gift is. With an envelope or just a card, you know it's money. This is just my personal preference and every one of us is different. Some prefer money, some don't.

Shen81

LilElvis wrote: »

I was given a very memorable gift experience by my ex when I visited him (he was working in California for a fair time). It was a trip in a private plane over San Francisco to join the mile high club! More funny than erotic!

So his gift to you was him getting laid on a plane. If any guy offered me that, he would be packing his bags! He must have very little respect for you if he believes that is a gift.

LilElvis

Shen81 wrote: »

So his gift to you was him getting laid on a plane. If any guy offered me that, he would be packing his bags! He must have very little respect for you if he believes that is a gift.

Actually it was me that mentioned it to him after reading an article in the Sunday papers. I didn't think he would be able to arrange it though

LilElvis

Person_one wrote: »

You'd think receiving a gift you're not that keen on was some sort of terrible hardship or trauma from some of the posts on this thread!

It's just life, and the fact that humans beings are human.

It's not traumatic, but, as GeorgieGirl says, it is wasteful. I always feel bad when I receive a gift which I know will sit in a cupboard unused as that wasn't the giver's intention. And before I'm accused of being ungrateful or too picky (which, I admit, I can be about some things) here are a couple of examples. Last year my husband noticed a perfume bottle that was nearly empty, so he bought me a new one for Christmas - except it comes in a couple of variants and the one he got is not the one I use because it smells like cat pee on me. So there is a large bottle of Chanel No5, still in its cellophane, in my drawer. A few years ago my parents bought me a coffee set, but it isn't something for even occasional use but rather for display. Except I have nowhere to display it! It's a complete, perfect Limoges art deco set which I know cost hundreds and is shut away in a cupboard. Both were lovely thoughts, but really a terrible waste of money.

moomoomama27

Person_one wrote: »

I must have been seriously misunderstanding the whole concept of gift giving my whole life then. I thought choice of present was up to the giver...

It is, but surely the person choosing the present to give, should give something the recipient actually wants? Otherwise it's a waste of money.

I'm genuinely surprised at the thought of someone being offended by being given money or a voucher!