Girlfriend - Work - Mental Health

babymoo

I appreciate that this is difficult for you OP but I guarantee this is 1000x more difficult for your gf.

I have been in her shoes and believe it can take years until something snaps and you realise you need help. Maybe she doesn't even think she has a problem as yet, even a diagnosis from a professional doesn't mean you accept that there is an issue.

It took me 10 years, yes 10 years to sort my **** out. Having people telling me they understood but could I just do this or just do that to help myself only infuriated me as clearly they didn't understand.

Anxiety isn't something that goes away, it is something you learn to control, when you are ready and it isn't something that can be controlled with a pill. She sounds like she would do well with a course of CBT but ONLY when she is ready to accept she has an issue.

I used to look at my DP who went to work 6 days a week and wonder why I couldn't be more like him, why I couldn't get myself out of bed, go to work and be "normal". I was offered counselling and many courses of medication none of which helped until ATOS suggested that I see a CBT. I can honestly say this saved my life, however had I not been ready to find a way out of my spiral then it would have been a waste of time.

I have also been on your side of things in the past and it is annoying and irritating, even when you have been in their shoes. The only approach that is going to work with your gf is time and space. Sometimes getting a duvet and hiding under it with her will be the only way you can help her and show her you understand.

Believe me when I say that everytime you push at her to sort herself out, it will only make her worse because on top of everything else she is currently feeling, you will inadvertantly add "being a failure" on to her list of reasons why she shouldn't make a change.

FuzzyPanda

FBaby wrote: »

OP, if your partner never got much better, or even stayed as she is, could you accept her as she is and be there to support her?

Every response in a nutshell, is this ^

She might get better, she might not. You have to decide whether you can continue in the relationship if she doesn't. (For instance have a set up like hazyjo and her partner.) There's no guarantee. :grouphug: