Bah humbug!

Scrapaholic

Christmas Day is just one day . As someone else said , you could have a day to yourselves , perhaps Boxing Day . If you don't want to do a turkey and all trimmings , you could do a simple roast dinner . It's up to you or whoever cooks , to decide . My dh 's mother is 88 and she'll be coming out of her residential home to go with us to our son and family on 25th. She comes to us every year as there's no one else . This year she decided she shouldn't have to be bothered anymore to remember birthdays or give birthday money and there'd be no Christmas presents either .Those of us who live long enough will get old . I'd hate to think our children couldn't be bothered with us just because we'll be ancient ! However , people don't become nice just because they get old . If they're unpleasant younger people they'll be unpleasant oldies . Not everyone wants to spend time with relatives , old or young , if they don't like them . I decided years ago that I'd not let myself get upset over who I did or didn't see on 25th . There's other days to see people . I make the best of whatever's happening that day and it is just one day .

Georgiegirl256

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Bob Geldof has been on the phone, he has read this thread

He is re-doing "do they know it's christmas"

The words go something like

It's Christmas time
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in Dad and we banish mum
But in a world of plenty, we can leave your parents out, throw your arms around the Hubz at Christmas time

But say a prayer, pray for the battleaxe
At christmas time it's hard but when you want some peace


Theres your mum outside the window
Whilst the inlaw's tucking in
Where the only meal she's eating
Are the scraps left in your bin

And the Front door bells that ring there, is the ding dong sound of doom
Well tonight thank god it's yours instead of his

And there won't be your old battleaxe this Christmas
The greatest gift she'll buy is a new will kit...oh yeah
Where crisp Notes name once was
Now becomes the Dogs Trust

Do they know it's Christmas time at all.

That's hilarious! Gave me a right good giggle! :rotfl: Esp the bolded bit!

Better_Days

[QUOTE=Scrapaholic;66972815_However_,_people_don't_become_nice_just_because_they_get_old_._If they're unpleasant younger people they'll be unpleasant oldies . Not everyone wants to spend time with relatives , old or young , if they don't like them . I decided years ago that I'd not let myself get upset over who I did or didn't see on 25th . There's other days to see people . I make the best of whatever's happening that day and it is just one day .[/QUOTE]

Agree with this. As a child I have vivid memories of my paternal grandparents rocking up every Christmas and every Christmas there was a massive row and unpleasantness all round. It was mainly due to my paternal grandfather who would deliberately say things to get a reaction and the rest of family always obliged. Sadly both my Dad and my sister also exhibited this personality trait, all three of them seemed to get pleasure from saying something inflamatory and then sitting back and watching the fallout.

My grandparents and Dad have all passed away now, but if they were still here I'd rather have Christmas alone with my cat than go through all that again.

FatVonD

I can see your point of view on this, OP.

We too thought we would be getting the Christmas we wanted this year, ie, us at home with the kids and my mum and seeing DH's family on Boxing Day. SIL and BIL had invited MIL and FIL to lunch with them while we were all invited down for the evening (an hours drive away.) DH said we wouldn't be able to come as his kids need to be back at their mums by around 7pm (family party) and by the time we got there it would be almost time to leave.

Suddenly, faced with the idea of DH's parents not seeing the grandkids on Christmas day, everything else got changed. We now have to drive an hour to have Christmas lunch (at £56 per head for 11 people) in the area that BIL and SIL live and then back to theirs afterwards so we can leave by 6pm to get the kids home in time.

We're not even the ones having to foot the bill for lunch (FIL and MIL offered to pay but now my mum has paid half with them and we will pay for the drinks) but I could cry at what a waste of money it is when we could have had the same meal for £20 per head the following day :mad:

notanewuser

FatVonD wrote: »

Suddenly, faced with the idea of DH's parents not seeing the grandkids on Christmas day, everything else got changed. We now have to drive an hour to have Christmas lunch (at £56 per head for 11 people) in the area that BIL and SIL live and then back to theirs afterwards so we can leave by 6pm to get the kids home in time.

I don't think I'll ever understand that!!!

snowleopard61

FatVonD wrote: »

I can see your point of view on this, OP.

I can too. It isn’t what I would want at Christmas, but if you were looking forward to it, it’s disappointing.

I like the idea of a private ‘pretend’ Christmas. The first Christmas after my ex-husband and I were married (more than 30 years ago) we were planning to spend it with my parents, to whom I was very close – he didn’t have a great relationship with his. Then his father died suddenly not long before Christmas, and in the circumstances we felt we must spend it with his mother and sister. Our families lived a couple of hundred miles apart and we were dependent on public transport, so there was no way we could do both. Instead we went up to my parents for New Year and just did Christmas all over again a week later, complete with stockings and presents under the tree. It was a very good compromise.

Person_one

FatVonD wrote: »

Suddenly, faced with the idea of DH's parents not seeing the grandkids on Christmas day, everything else got changed. We now have to drive an hour to have Christmas lunch (at £56 per head for 11 people) in the area that BIL and SIL live and then back to theirs afterwards so we can leave by 6pm to get the kids home in time.

But you don't 'have to', do you?

FatVonD

Person_one wrote: »

But you don't 'have to', do you?

We do if we want to avoid histrionics on the part of the inlaws.

notanewuser

FatVonD wrote: »

We do if we want to avoid histrionics on the part of the inlaws.

That's ridiculous. They're adults, not toddlers!!

Pollycat

FatVonD wrote: »

We do if we want to avoid histrionics on the part of the inlaws.

By allowing them to have histrionics to get their own way, you're just enabling them & perpetuating their dominance over you.

But that's your choice.

But - as Person_one says - you don't HAVE to.