Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Haven’t heard anything more from the Mum who was interested in the bike. Will give her a few days and then list it on the selling pages. Did make a sale on eBay this morning though and I’m about £35 better off :j.

I realise this next bit isn’t for everyone, but I went to a Spiritualist church’s open circle last night after a last minute text from a friend. I was feeling a bit fed up and thought, why not?!. Got a message from my Paternal Grandma which was very accurate and she mentioned my anxiety and said not to worry about money !!

mary_hinge

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Haven’t heard anything more from the Mum who was interested in the bike. Will give her a few days and then list it on the selling pages. Did make a sale on eBay this morning though and I’m about £35 better off :j.

I realise this next bit isn’t for everyone, but I went to a Spiritualist church’s open circle last night after a last minute text from a friend. I was feeling a bit fed up and thought, why not?!. Got a message from my Paternal Grandma which was very accurate and she mentioned my anxiety and said not to worry about money !!

I love this!! I am a big believer in all things spooky! :A

HairyHandofDartmoor

Great news about the ebay sale and I hope you hear from the mum about the bike .

please-let-me-be-lucky

mary_hinge wrote: »

I love this!! I am a big believer in all things spooky! :A

I really think I was meant to go last night!! It was so random but so needed. The guy that gave me the message knew exactly what she looked like and how she lost a LOT of weight before she died. Apparently Grandma felt uncomfortable in the outfit she was buried in as it was far too big . He knew I was grazing rather than eating proper meals just now and that I was one of two girls but I had two boys. I was told off for putting myself last and not being more forthcoming in saying - this is how it is, like it or lump it. I said to DH yesterday morning that I just wanted to know money wouldn’t always be so tight, and I was given the answer in the reading. Just hope she’s right!! Xx

beanielou

I dont think its spooky.
I am amazed at how accurate they can be
Hope its true for you xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

beanielou wrote: »

I dont think its spooky.
I am amazed at how accurate they can be
Hope its true for you xx

Thanks Beanie - I do too Xx

beanielou

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Thanks Beanie - I do too Xx

Remember your friends:p:rotfl: xx

Bexxie

This is long, rambly, and done at 1:30am, so yeah, it's long and rambly, and I'm sure others can put it better



I'm not entirely sure how you are regarding debts. Whether you cleared your mortgage/other debts.


Being reliant on DH's benefits is a struggle, but you must also put yourself first too sometimes. I get that it's hard to, but you shouldn't put yourself last in line. In fact, if anything, you are the first in line. You are who keeps that family of yours going. You're the one to sort food out for the kids/dh, you're the one keeping "house" in regards to budgeting and so forth. You're the one who has to look after in effect 3 kids. Granted one of them is your DH, but when he's having a dreadful day, his behaviour can be likened to a kid, along side 2 teenager boys, and wow! How you manage that :T


In the very essence of what I'm trying to say, you are the glue that keeps that family going. You have help here, and in your outer family, but sometimes you need to say *I need this*, and you know what, it's ok to say *I want this* as well.



It's actually easy for me to say this, as someone struggling on benefits herself. Two words. Carpe Diem. You've been through an experience that most people can only read about, and not a nice experience though, but one no less that had life changing consequences for you all. Life is short, Grab it by the proverbial horns, worry less about a stack of savings (and I bet I will get shot down on this forum for that comment), breathe easier about a life you just do each day now.



Sure very few people can afford the big ticket items, the new car, the 6 month cruise, a house in Spain, 3 holidays a year but most can afford, with a jiggle and a miss out of something else sometimes, the smaller bits. You treat your kids, even your hubby is out doing stuff on his own. I bet even your dog gets his treats too! You can look after yourself as well as the rest of the family. You have a few more years to be totally debt free (if you're still in debt), and a few more years to be able to get more savings (if that's what you're doing now), so relax the budget a bit more, worry less about taking from one pot to another, make sure the bills are paid, then over pay a little less, you don't have to tighten the belt so much.


I guess what I'm saying. How much of it is that money is tight because you don't get enough, or how much of it is tight because you tighten the belt. If it's you, relax what you're squirrelling away towards debts/savings, a couple more years debt is worth it for a today life of less stress, and worry - small or big, less is still more.



Hats off, you're amazing. It's hard for me to carry on with just a cat to worry about.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thanks Bexxie, what a great message, even more so for having written it at 1.30am!! Thanks for putting so much thought into it, and you’ve certainly made me think too.

We still have £15.5k left on our mortgage. The critical illness policy ‘only’ paid out £80k when DH had his accident due to them contesting the date he stopped smoking :mad:, leaving us with £25k left to pay off ourselves. Left to run, this will end in 2026, and costs us £186.58 per month. I realise this is a lot less than most mortgage payments but it’s a massive chunk of our money. This has recently increased as the government stopped paying the interest part of the mortgage, so we are having to find an extra £40 per month there.

I stopped my 3hrs per week work over a year ago. That makes us £80 per month down, plus I no longer get 10% off my shopping which probably amounts to over £20 per month. More at Christmas. I had intended on making this every month in different ways - eBay/surveys etc but in reality I would’ve been doing this anyway on top of my wages rather than instead of, so we’ve still been short.

Our money doesn’t seem to stretch as far as it used to. Not sure if this is perhaps a mix of rising prices and growing boys who eat constantly. I normally save a minimum of £20 per month towards Christmas, but the account only has £30 in there not the £100 it should have by now. There is also a tin of change, but this was meant to be in addition to the £20 per month not instead of.

Both boys need full new uniforms over the summer. DS2 is changing schools and moving up to Middle School. DS1 probably would have only needed a few bits, but the High School are changing their uniform so I need everything :mad:. We still haven’t heard about the Orlando competition. If we win, I’ll need to raise spending money, if we don’t win it means we have no plans for 6 weeks and I’ll need money to get us through that.

I think what I’m realising is that I’m panicking about how to pay for things in the future, rather than ‘attacking’ it like I have done in the past. I work better with a battle plan, but I also know that I have lovely friends and family and if I’m struggling they will help. I just feel tired of the worry, as I’m sure lots of us do.

DS1 has just announced all his friends are going to the cinema and town on Saturday. So now I need to see if we can afford for him to do that .....

beanielou

So get you on the worrying being so draining.
Take care of you xx