Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!

Buffythedebtslayer

brizzledfw wrote: »

How about a glass of whisky?

Or a cup of tea?

And lets work on how you get a break...how about roping in MIL? Even if you just use the time to have a sleep, read a magazine and give yourself a manicure

x

this. we need to do this. When can MIL have them all?

XX

cazzyd

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Back again!

Feeling a bit fed up. DH has been Mr Angry again, DS1 has been a greedy, stroppy whingebag, and to be honest I'm sick of being the peace keeper. I do everything I can to make people happy and it never seems good enough. Starting to feel quite negative and anxious again and I REALLY don't want to go back down that route .

Took the boys swimming this morning.

Gained 1.5lbs at chub club.

lucky. I've been hiding this year part of my way to getting myself right, had cbt which helped massively with my anxiety and negativity, I still have my bad days though. Sunday in particular was bad, so many small bad things happened and it was like a downward spiral. Because I've missed this year, did comment on the start of this year, did you get cbt also? I hope it helped, and if it did, I would just say to think back on the strategies you used at the time. Part of mine was to write a diary of negatives and positives and the majority of the time I would see that the positives far outweighed the negatives and I was just dwelling on them! Just think like this, at this time of the year everyone is out of routine, and that doesn't help with anyone's emotions

Hope things improve soon xx

brizzledfw

..think you can get CBT in the NHS..worth looking into?

brizzledfw

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

this. we need to do this. When can MIL have them all?

XX

Yes..lets get her diary out..

Failing that I will threaten to drive north

Knit_Witch

maybe the next time DS1 kicks off you could have a screaming fit and "meltdown" and shock him into behaving?!

patanne

Have you ever noticed that people respond better to being 'told off' by men than women. When women get stressed about things (especially things like DSs being a pain) our voices go up an octave. So practice saying things like 'please stop doing that' (polite version) in a much lower voice. I haven't had to use this for many years as my DS is fully grown up (I take that back he was a pain today) but I know that if I say in THAT voice 'I beg your pardon' he would stop instantly and say he was sorry.

You sound so stressed that I wish there was something I could really do. Part of the problem is that you are the focus of your family more so than most and you have a couple of sensitive DSs who pick up when things are not going well & there is nothing like the pressure of the long Christmas holidays to really concentrate this.

I hope that when you get up in the morning and read this that your headache is gone!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thank you so much everyone for coming to my rescue. I went to bed early at 10pm, was awake with DS2 at 4.30am, but managed to go back to sleep an hour later and slept until 8am. Feel so much better for it.

Not sure if the headache is tension/stress related, but I think I remember reading somewhere that they are felt on both sides of the head and the one I have is left hand side only.

Have held back from asking MiL to have the boys as I know they would rather be at home and MiL hasn't seemed to happy herself recently. Brizzle, you are welcome any time but you will be coming out with me not babysitting .

Patanne, DH and I both tell DS1 off, but I worry about that. For example, yesterday at the swimming pool DS1 was being rough with his brother and DH grabbed him angrily to pull him off. He left a red mark on his shoulder which DH was devastated about, and was an accident, but I would hate for anything (worse?) like that to happen again. When DH gets angry the red mist descends and whilst I never feel frightened and he has never hit any of us, the more DS1 pushes the more I could envisage it happening.
Knit Witch, I burst into tears yesterday which shocked DS1. Will try the screaming meltdown next!!

I did have CBT and Counselling earlier on in the year, and up until a few weeks ago it was all feeling so much better. Hopefully this is just a blip. It has coincided with the stress of Christmas, the boys being off school (which is normally my best time but DS1 is trying to change my mind on that :mad:) and DH having a wobbler. I've also eaten nothing but junk and haven't been to the gym so it's all understandable. As cazzy says, looking at things from another perspective helps.

brizzledfw

Here's to a better day today. Just think on the other things tho...and maybe put some plans in place for when things are less good..eg. Regular physical exercise and CBT exercises refresh?

I know the kids would prefer to be at home, get that, but if you're in a state then the whole family falls apart. It's not about their preferences this time, but the glue holding everything together staying strong

ps. That'd be great!!

cazzyd

Christmas is never a good time, always full of stress. Given my job, I don't get choice of holidays and I'm always off. With trying to recooperate and rest, and enjoy the festivities, and fit family, friends and other things in, Christmas gets stressful! And I don't even have children. I understand fully how you feel, I totally lost it towards the middle of Boxing Day, lost it totally on Sunday! I wish I would have just stayed in bed Sunday morning!

Glad to see the CBT helped, my counsellor was brilliant, within a week of having my assessment, I got my appointment, and had cbt from the beginning of June until the end of September! One of the things I did was write a diary and look at why I think negatively about everything...normally it depends how tired I am, which could explain why it's like this atm lucky!

That said I hope today was a better day, and you got some you time! Xx

satchmo1

I'm so sorry you've been feeling stressed out. You deserve a break.


I wonder whether there's any family CBT type thing, because your DS's sleep patterns seem to follow on soon after DH has been jerky.