Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thanks Brizzle, cazzy and satchmo, all valid points to consider. Lots to think about.

Yesterday was mixed, a few tantrums from DS1 in the morning, but a good afternoon. We went out for a pub lunch just the 4 of us and sat chatting. It was nice to regroup and not argue, even if it did cost £26 for the privilege!

Today has been great. No arguments [STRIKE]yet[/STRIKE] and we went to the park and fed the squirrels. They are ao cute and a few are brave enough to take things from your hand! It was a cold wind but when it dropped it was beautiful and the fresh air did us all good.

We are just staying in tonight, no one fancied partying!

Sun_Addict

Hello Lucky, glad to read you're perking up a bit. I can sympathise with you re the "uff" feeling (that's the only way I can describe it!) you get at Christmas when you've been eating rubbish and not exercising. I can't say I've been eating much rubbish but I'm missing my walking to work and back and I just feel so "uff". I think once you get back to "normal" you'll start to feel more positive. Glad you had a nice day today.

My New Year's Eve outfit is a dressing gown and slippers - I know how to live! (Although I've got a bottle of champagne chilling in the fridge.) So no partying in the SA household either. Doubt I'll still be awake at midnight.

Hope you have a fantastic New Year and things start to look up for you in 2016 xx

patanne

OK I am going to say some things and if you want to I WILL delete it asap so few people get chance to read it. Firstly let me say what an amazingly strong person I think you are for coping as you do. BUT - you knew there was going to be a but in there didn't you?

You have a DS1 there who is laden with new testosterone, this is normally dealt with to a large extent by peers who usually don't let them get too big for their boots. They don't challenge their fathers because the father is the alpha male & they save that until they are approaching 16/18 and often leaving home or by then are used to negotiating what powers they have. Your DS1 doesn't have that so he is fighting to be alpha male - this is his hormones talking NOT DS1 by the way. So this is making him confused I think and that won't be helping.

I think I remember you saying that you & your DH have different doctors, is this true for the boys? I think it may help if they (as in both of them) have counselling - along the same lines as grief counselling as grief is in effect what they are/have been going through.

There! I'll say sorry & hope you know I mean this in the best possible way, I just can't help sticking my nose in where it may be unwanted or totally inapropriate.

Sun_Addict

Well said Patanne - there's something in that Lucky - DS1 is most likely trying to be the alpha male as his dad isn't able to be most of the time. He'll see his friends dads are the head of the household and compare it with his own family. It's a lot to deal with so young. That said my DS went through a stage of being a pain and has turned out to be a lovely young man.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Absolutely no need to delete Patanne, I just hadn't thought of it like that and I appreciate you pointing it out. I know from friends that their kids are similar at the moment, but the added pressure of DS1 having to be 'the grownup' when I'm not here probably doesn't help. I need to chase up the Carer's Centre as I was offered support for DS1 in September but have heard nothing since. The boys are registered to my GP not DH's.

SA, I'm about to get changed into a onesie!!! I already have a glass of wine on the go. Sorry to read Mr SA had trouble earlier and has gone to bed. I hope you have a good evening regardless Xx

Sun_Addict

Cheers Lucky! If I make it to midnight it will be a miracle.

When_the_going_gets_tough

Wishing you and all your family a very Happy New Year and good fortune in 2016 Lucky.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thanks WTGGT - same to you Xx

SA, I know what you mean. The boys are still going and I'm just hoping they will give up so I can go to bed . I've gotten so boring . Just watched the CUTEST programe about baby pandas which was lush, but I mean really, on NYE??!! Xx

amber03

Can agree with the alpha male syndrome, I have three DS's the youngest being 17 and have experienced this with all three, advice take a deep breath and think you are one day closer to it being over.:)x

Buffythedebtslayer

Happy New Year Lucky, hope in 2016 all your dreams and hopes come true.

Just make at least one resolution to take care of yourself?

Love Buffles XXX