Mini meltdown and light bulb moment

AleMrsT

Hi ES (is it ok to abbreviate it?!)
I think when he moved in with his ex he was in the throws of sorting his IVA, I don't think he told her the full details, so they set up a joint account for bills, then when the IVA was put into place, I think the joint account get closed off and it affected his ex's credit rating because she was then considered as a 'financial association'. So in all honesty, I am making him sound really difficult and cagey, but I think he is actually protecting my interests, because if we don't have any 'financial associations' his IVA cannot impact on my ability to obtain credit, and my income cannot be used to recalculate his SOA. Thats how I understand it anyway, but I may be wrong.
I am more than happy to have the account in my sole name, as long as he pays his share into it.

With the in laws, they did ask if they needed to bring anything, but I just said 'no of course not, they're our guests' but I think I need to swallow my pride and ask them if they can maybe bring us a food hamper or similar instead of any Christmas 'gifts' as such.

AleMrsT

Thanks GMOOD! I was worried about that.

AleMrsT

After reading loads of people mentioning YNAB, I had to google it to see what it was. I have now read the entire You Need a Budget website, and I'm sold! I have now downloaded the free trial to see if I will help me, as clearly, I am no use at setting a budget myself! I'm excited.
Will keep you posted.

misstara

Hi AleMrsT, just catching up with your diary. Sounds like you've been busy. Love your plan of action, good luck with it all . Have you tried doing surveys? They are super boring to do but the rewards do add up.

Hope YNAB works well for you - I've never tried it but have read good things about it on this forum.

AleMrsT

Hi misstara. I've signed up to a few survey sites. Tolunda , swagbucks and ipsos, I have a few points but not enough to redeem yet. Not quite got the hang of YNAB, think I'm going to use it to help me set up a basic spreadsheet then cancel after the free trial.
I need to revisit my goals so that I can see them each day.

Had a relatively low spend day yesterday considering it was a busy one. Grandma bought me a new coat for Christmas (half price in asda so was only £10!) And she bought us lunch, then dinner out was fairly cheap for saying we went to an Italian, £14 spent, although I didn't actually enjoy the food so I feel that money was wasted. Then a further £5.20 spent on drinks and parking.with so less than £20.
I've allocated myself £10 per week 'pocket money' and £40 for this month for eating out , so only £14 out of eating out budget, and £5.20 from this week's pocket money.
Will be a NSD today as hubby is hungover after brother in laws stag do, although they went go karting during the day , my dad invited OH out for a drink with BIL and his dad, this is where it probably went wrong! My dad is used to being able to drink heavily in one sitting without feeling the effects, but he forgets other people can't drink as much, so they try and keep up with him and it nearly always fails.
I thought there was something wrong with me the first time I got drunk and hungover, because I have never seen dad with a hangover so thought I was allergic or something! Mum pointed out that I was quite normal, it's just dad this the exception, although he does suffer now hes older, and deservedly so, he's had 25 years of being able to drink a lot and he's paying for it now.
Anyway, happy Sunday everyone!

Saver-upper

Hi AleMrsT,
I have read your diary from the beginning,and you sound so determined :T.
I am going subscribing.You are doing great :j.

AleMrsT

Thanks saver-upper
I got an email today from Stepchange confirming that my DMP is all set up and the first payment is due to them on 1st January. New year, new start and all that. Glad I made those token payments now as I won't have a month where nothing has been paid at all.
I just feel relieved that stepchange are sorting this for me, I think I'd feel more accomplished if I did a self managed one, but right now I don't have time to be dealing with it all so I'm happy to pass it over.

Had another hospital letter today which is a follow up appointment after the scan I had a few weeks back. At least this is at the community hospital in town instead of the big city centre one I have to go to for my 6-weekly appointments. I'm hoping to finally get some answers about my right ear, ive had so many problems with recurring infections and deafness, I finally got a referral to ENT from my gp in September. The ENT consultant said my ear drum is damaged from all of the infections, and is sucked in with negative pressure, which he thinks has worn away one of the bones in my middle ear! No wonder i can't hear, I think hubby thought I was being ignorant!! Ha. I should know in January what happens next now we have the scan results etc, so fingers crossed it's relatively simple to fix, but knowing my luck it won't be!
My life is never simple!:rotfl:

AleMrsT

Oh, just £1 spent today on two tins of soup, so lunch at work tomorrow all sorted too.

misstara

Glad to hear the DMP is sorted out and hope all goes well with your scan results.

AleMrsT

So, I have been writing a diary for a month now, and I already feel less stressed about money. I am sleeping better too.:j I've had some excellent advice and wonderful support, so thank you everyone. I think this is going to be the best thing I ever did.

There is no point updating my signature because the figure I owe has gone UP, as I have a late payment charge on my Credit Card, which is more than I paid in, AND the cancelled direct debits have NOT been cancelled so car insurance tried to take money from my Nationwide account instead of Barclays, so the payment has been returned and the car insurance not been paid! NOT happy!!!!!!

Back to the diary, yesterday was a very spendy day, but we did the food shopping at A*di. I wrote out a meal plan, and a shopping list and we *nearly* stuck to it, not bad for a first attempt at least.
Meal plan as follows:
Tuesday - pasta and tuna
Wednesday - Tuna steaks and rice
Thursday - Chorizo and pasta bake (x4 people)
Friday - Fajitas (Fajita Friday!!)
Saturday - Steak
Sunday - roast pork
Monday - gammon, egg and chips

Hubby has invited his work friend round on Thursday, and her brother. She fell down the stairs and broke her feet so she cant do anything, and she has custody of her brother, so we have him coming round too, so I bought extra for Thursdays meal.

The budget was £30 for the week, with some extra spends for Christmas food (I have budgeted £60 total for christmas shop, not sure whether this was enough).

Total spends £63.80 :eek: BUT

I've been a total geek and worked it out to a weekly food/christmas food/unlisted items(oops), and here is the breakdown.

Weekly food:£42.38
Christmas Food: £10.88
Unlisted items: £10.54 (we still needed this stuff but it wasnt on the list, cereal etc)
So even with the unlisted and christmas food we still went £12 over budget. Its a lot less than we would usually spend though, and the amount of food we now have in the house means we probably wont need to go shopping for another 2 weeks :T

HOWEVER, I also bought some new clothes which I have desperately needed all year, and I feel guilty about buying.

I went into Primar* and spent £62. I got a pair of ankle boots, a pair of jeans that fit (YAY) 3 T shirts and a long slouchy cardigan and a dress for work. So all stuff I needed, but its still £62 I hadn't budgeted for. I'm looking at it like this though, before last month, I wasn't budgeting at all, so wouldnt have even known if there was the money available to spend £62, but would have just spent it anyway, now I know that I can 'afford' it this month, and still have money for the food shop, and I can 'borrow' the spent money from other stuff that I'd budgeted for that haven't used yet, such as holiday savings fund and next years car insurance money, any maybe from the rest of the Christmas shopping fund.

All in all, I don't feel too bad for spending £125.80 :eek: yesterday. I think.......