Mini meltdown and light bulb moment

AleMrsT

So, here goes my first attempt at budgeting.

Balance of account £25.02
Wages £941.28
TOTAL AVAILABLE £966.30

Outgoings
Rent £500
Car insurance £35.73
Phone £25 (contract plus buffer for any additional calls)
H CC £75
N CC £80
Loan £223.43
TOTAL £939.16

Leaving £27.14 for the rest of the month!!! I can now see quite clearly that NOT doing the Debt Management Plan is simply not an option. That is just my basic out goings, without food or travel costs, or prescriptions factored in. Wowzers, no wonder I'm in such a mess!! :eek: I can't believe that I have NEVER sat down and written it all out like this before when I've been paid. I'm so mad with myself for being so ostrich about everything.

The girls are here so will come back later.

AleMrsT

So, the girls have just left, I have fessed up to them about my financial mess. They were a little bit surprised that it had managed to spiral so out of control that it has got to the stage I am now, but they were not shocked or judgmental, just supportive.
They are all at different stages in life despite us all being a similar age (in our late 20's), although I'm the eldest of the group.
I kind of infiltrated their group when I was with my ex, we all used socialise together as a large group on casual nights out etc, then I got closer to the group and started getting invited to things as 'just the girls', but always felt like they were being polite, then when I split with my ex, I expected the friendship to fizzle out as one of their boyfriends was best friends with my ex, so I assumed they would still do things with him and his new partner, but they all kept in touch and helped me with the break up and I became closer to them. I actually consider them my best friends now, and I will always regret not having them as my bridesmaids at my wedding
There are five of us all together, but only 3 of them came tonight, as one of them is away with work (S).

Anyway, one of them got married in September (J) to her boyfriend of 10 years, (I was bridesmaid along with the other 3 girls, and my ex was best man.... :eek:) one of them still lives at home (K), another has been to uni, moved home, moved out again, gone back to uni, moved back home, moved out again with a boyfriend and is now back home (N), so they all had very constructive and helpful suggestions and input.

Strangely, the singleton living with her parents (K) is the most money savvy, even though she has the least outgoings, she is the one that is most careful with her cash, separating it into different accounts, and having a back up fund if one month is particularly tight and she doesn't want to dip into savings. N (quite rightly) pointed out that she has never had to manage a true household budget as she still lives with parents and doesn't pay rent, c tax etc, but K says that she still pays board and likes to think that being on the ball with it now will make it easier for her when she does move out, as she will know how to manage a budget.
N is a teacher so is used to organising, J is the 'grown up one' with pensions and a mortgage etc.
They said they would help me with my DFJ between them, and help to keep me on track. :T I feel SOOO much better now that they know everything, it will make life easier knowing that they know the situation, especially around Christmas and socially. We're all out at Kasabian on Saturday, so at least I don't have to make up excuses about not buying stuff.
Things are looking up I think. :money:

Bex296

Hi MrsT!

Well done on the budget- though they are scary things the first time you do them! I now have a spreadsheet which I obsess over, though I'm still not as good at sticking to it as I should be

It's great that your friends are so supportive and that you can talk to them... I've never really discussed financial stuff with friends as most of mine are too sensible to have credit cards! It is interesting seeing how different people deal with money... I wonder why people's approaches differ?

Good luck with the Step Change plan, I hope they get you sorted out. Hospital parking sucks, I know the NHS is a bit skint but it makes me cross that people have to pay so much to private companies to park to go to hospital for themselves or relatives! Though as you said, at least we have the NHS.

Getmeoutofdebt

Hi Mrs T

Just popped in and read your diary after you popped in on mine!
I have subscribed so I can check out how you are getting on.
Are you managing to persuade hubby that it is a good idea? Mine was the same. He was against me getting help at first because he seemed to think it was an embarrassing thing to do (which doesn't make sense as It was me doing it, not him and I wasn't about to go telling everyone!) but now he thinks it's incredible and is really supportive. Though I think he has ulterior motives as he keeps saying how he can't wait for me to get out of debt even though he hasn't done anything about sorting his own! :mad:
Anyway you are definitely doing the right thing and yes it is a bit scary at the beginning but once you settle in to the plan you will be absolutely fine!
Good luck! Stay positive! Go for it! :T:T:T:T:T:T
Gmood xx

AleMrsT

So, its payday. I logged on to online banking this morning to make sure wages have gone into the new account, and they have, however, rent came out first then wages were credited, I don't have an overdraft on this new account so I hope this isnt going to cause charges, it went out and in on the same day, rent out at midnight, wages in shortly after, so fingers crossed that will be ok.

Because I have cancelled the direct debits for my debt payments, and the stepchange thing hasnt really kicked in yet, I thought I would transfer funds to my old account to pay a small bit off the debts as token payments until the DMP kicks in. I transferred £15, but then when I tried to pay it across to my CC, it wouldnt let me because it would have taken me over my OD :mad: So, I was panicking that I'd 'wasted' £15. I changed plan and withdrew the cash on my lunch break, went into Nationwide, paid £10 off my credit card easily enough, and then tried to pay £10 off my loan. Because I've cancelled the bill payments and direct debits on my online banking, she couldn't find the details to pay the money into the loan, so she suggested she pays it in to the current account and I can transfer it. I had to point out i'd tried to do this but the OD swallowed it, so after about 10 minutes or so, she got a colleague to do it. So, £15 paid off OD, £10 off N CC, £10 off loan, then I went in to Halifax and paid £10 off that CC. baby steps, but I'm getting there. I'm quite lucky that Nationwide and Halifax are next door to each other, so I can do the whole journey on my lunch break.
So I now feel a bit better that I have least made A payment to the debts, even though its not the contracted amount and stepchange havent written to them yet about the DMP. I'm not sure if I've done the right thing because I haven't asked permission to pay less yet, so I am kind of a bit panicky that I've jeopardised 'the plan'. Wasn't sure what to do for the best, but I've done it now!

Now I've paid the rent and my mini payments to my debts, I just have the car insurance direct debit £35.73 to go out on 31st, as my phone bill has already come out of my Nationwide account due to them not changing the DD in time, so will just need to budget for Decembers bill at the end of the month.

I am not sure what to do about my phone, I don't actually use it anymore as OH added a second line to his contract so that I could get a new phone early, as my upgrade isnt due until April. Its £17 a month, but I have allocated a buffer this month, as I used it to make some calls to cancel DDs (why are they all 0845/0844 numbers!? it drives me mad!)
So anyway, I'm not sure whether to call Vodafone and say that I'm having financial difficulties, can I cancel my contract early (there's only 4 months left), or whether to just suck it up and keep paying. OH now pays my new phone bill, but I will have to pay that when my current contract expires.
Will post a revised budget shortly now that I am more clear on funds available and what I've paid.

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on doing your first budget. It will become second nature to you soon and the peace of mind from dealing with your debts is worth so much.


I have just read your diary through from the beginning and have great admiration for how you are coping with all this in spite of having medical issues. I used to be a mortgage arrears counsellor so would see so many people sticking their head in the sand while the problems just got worse so it is wonderful that you have faced them and are dealing with it. Can I just ask though does your OH not contribute to the rent as this is half your salary or is the total rent £1000 and you pay half?


I hope it is alright if I follow your journey. Good luck.

AleMrsT

Balance of account £25.02
Wages £941.28
TOTAL AVAILABLE £966.30

Outgoings
Rent £500
Car insurance £35.73
Vodafone £23 (contract plus £5 buffer for overspend) (budgeted for Decembers bill)
H CC £10
N CC £10
Loan £10
Overdraft £15 (UGH!!)
£5 DD to savings
TOTAL SPENT £608.73

BALANCE LEFT: £357.57

So with the balance left I have to get everything else I need for the month, which is?! Erm, I'm not actually sure. Yikes.:eek: OK, I'll start with the basics:
*Groceries £150 (£30 per week for food for two of us (usual spend) then £7.50 per week for toiletries and 'treats/extras'? does this sound do-able? not sure)
*Bus ticket which will be £36 (for two x 10 journey tickets, going to budget for 2 just in case)
*Wedding present for sister??? (could use December pay if we get it early but need to budget just in case)
*Birthday present for sister??? (as above)
*Christmas present for niece?! £20 MAX.
*Ingredients to make fudge/honeycomb/truffles for Christmas gifts? No idea! How much is golden syrup etc? Definitely can't afford presents, but wanted to make a small gesture for family.

This is really hard!! I just used to buy stuff, never plan what I needed that month. oh my goodness!!

Oh, I forgot!!! I need food for Christmas day to feed the in laws! Do I just factor this into grocery shop? Or budget £60 for total christmas spends, not including nieces present? Will £60 feed 5? for around 4/5 days? They are staying with us for Christmas as they are coming to my sisters wedding on 28th December(!!) so they will probably be leaving to go home on 29th (my sisters birthday!!!) or 30th.

Can someone please help!! EEEK :eek::mad::eek::mad: This is WAY harder than people make it look!

Hubby will pay for utilities, petrol and his bills, and he'll probably get the in laws christmas presents, even though I cant afford to buy for my side. UGH.

AleMrsT

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Well done on doing your first budget. It will become second nature to you soon and the peace of mind from dealing with your debts is worth so much.


I have just read your diary through from the beginning and have great admiration for how you are coping with all this in spite of having medical issues. I used to be a mortgage arrears counsellor so would see so many people sticking their head in the sand while the problems just got worse so it is wonderful that you have faced them and are dealing with it. Can I just ask though does your OH not contribute to the rent as this is half your salary or is the total rent £1000 and you pay half?


I hope it is alright if I follow your journey. Good luck.

Hi Enthusiastsaver, thank you for stopping by. I have been an ostrich for quite a while, but with my medical condition taking more of a toll now I knew I had to do something.
The rent amount is the full amount, I pay the rent and car insurance and food, OH pays everything else. Council tax, gas water electric, petrol, car maintenance, etc.
This is why I want to set up a secondary bills account, I'm not really sure whether all of the bills he pays tots up to as much as my 'half', so I want to set up an account where we both pay £600 into, and ALL of the bills come out of there. I think we will be better off in the long run, as any unexpected expenses can be taken from any excess in the bills account, but for some reason, he does NOT see this as an option. He just said 'if we don't have the money to pay, it doesnt matter what account its coming out of'. Its so frustrating. I still havent plucked up the courage to tell him we need to sit down and go through it all, properly, who pays what amount based in income etc.
When we first lived together he was on £11000 more per year than he is now. I moved in with him and we split the bills 50/50, which wasnt really fair at the time because he was earning £9000 more than me,but had a LOT more debt. Then the company got into trouble and he got made redundant, so the job he has now is £14500, only £600 more than my new wages actually, so we're pretty even now.
The 'bills' account will just have to be in my name, we can't have a joint account because of his IVA (or so he keeps telling me.)

enthusiasticsaver

I know the hardest thing is birthdays, Christmas, weddings and just when everyone else is out spending you are having to watch every penny which can be very difficult. Will your in laws not contribute to the food bill or do you not want them to know about your financial difficulties?


I am sure your sister will understand just token gifts are the only thing you can afford at the moment as presumably she knows money is tight.


It does make sense to have a joint account or at least a separate account for joint household bills with hubby but from what I have read he is resistant to discussing money with you? Men! You are married though so you should know what his financial position is or maybe not?? Hubby and I have always had joint accounts but I know not everyone does that. You cannot really take on his financial problems as well as your own though so if he really does not want to meet you halfway about discussing joint finances then probably best to leave it as you need to concentrate on keeping healthy above all and resentment is not a great emotion in helping that. I know there are caveats on having bank accounts after an IVA but some Banks, Barclays and Co op have a basic account which can be opened even with a poor credit score.

Getmeoutofdebt

AleMrsT wrote: »

So, its payday. I logged on to online banking this morning to make sure wages have gone into the new account, and they have, however, rent came out first then wages were credited, I don't have an overdraft on this new account so I hope this isn't going to cause charges, it went out and in on the same day, rent out at midnight, wages in shortly after, so fingers crossed that will be ok.

If it helps, I started a co-op basic account when I began my debt plan and mine does the same. My bills show as coming out before my wage shows as going in even though it is on the same day. My online balance always shows as overdrawn on payday even though I haven't got an overdraft. I have never been contacted or penalised though. I think maybe this is just the way it shows up on your account so don't worry about it. It has never caused me any problems xx