Mini meltdown and light bulb moment

AleMrsT

Hi All. Day off Wednesday, at hospital this afternoon so spending the morning looking at all of our bills and what we pay. OH is getting another pay rise in November so will be on 5k more than he was at the beginning of the year, I'm thinking now is the perfect time for us to set up a bills account that we each pay an equal amount in to, this means we're both contributing the same to the household stuff and should be able to do more 'fun' stuff, without me feeling guilty that OH is paying all the time.
Just need to convince OH that its a good idea. Ideally it would mean that I end up paying less than I currently do, because at the moment I pay the rent, car insurance and grocery shop, which is a larger proportion of my wages than the total of the bills that OH pays for, so if we each pay £500 in to a bills account, I will have around £160 a month more in my account, and the bills will still be covered. I have suggested this before and all I got was 'we can't afford the bills now, paying it out of a different account wont help'. How do I convince him it WILL help, as it will be easier to budget and see what we have left to play with once bills are paid?!

I have also opened a third savings account! I got an email from post office saying that the introductory interest rate is ending, but I can open a second savings account with an introductory rate alongside, so I have transferred the savings from my instant access Barclays savings account to the higher interest second post office account. It makes minimal difference in terms of real money, but I'll feel better knowing that the interest rate is 1.65% instead of 0.25%!

I've also transferred £30 from the first post office account to the new higher interest account and left £50 as an emergency amount in there. I'm hoping I've done the sensible thing, because I still pay tax on it so not sure if it will make any difference in the long run.

Still undecided on birthday plans, but OH has said to leave it with him and he'll sort something so I don't have to keep stressing about it. Fine by me, it makes it easier.

In terms of money saving, we havent done very well this week, we spent a bit of money on Sunday as we went out for the day, the first time in a long time actually. I got comic con tickets so we got up early and got the train there, with our rail card it was MUCH cheaper to get the train than to park, especially as the rugby was on too so it would have been very difficult to find a space. Comic con wasnt brilliant, so we left at lunch time to get something to eat, and ended up not going back as we'd actually seen everything and it was mainly merchandise stalls.
We went to YO sushi for lunch, quite good on the SW front, but not on the MSE front! £43! yikes. Then we went to Lush to have a look, and spent £25. Oh dear. I was really getting stressed out at this point about how much we were spending, but OH said it was all fine, we haven't been out for ages, we rarely spend money on 'stuff' and he's getting a pay rise so he has the funds available.

I've just got so used to (kind of) watching what I spend and trying to be frugal, that it just felt so strange to choose things and just get them rather than look for the cheapest item.

I did go back to my frugal MSE ways yesterday, as I had £1.35 in change in my purse, I needed a fizzy drink and also some shower gel (yes, despite the £25 lush purchases!!) so I went in to savers, shower gel on offer 95p, can of pepsi max, 29p! Under budget. Was very pleased with myself!

Off to finish my bill planning spreadsheet now then get ready for hospital later on.
Hope you're all having a good week.

misstara

Hi AleMrsT, sounds like a great idea to put equal amounts into an account for the bills especially if you will be £160ish better off a month. Hope you have a good weekend

Rebecca01

Hi AleMrsT

I have spent the last two days reading your diary. What an inspiration!
You have come so far and what you must go through medically but you still manage to remain focused is amazing.

I loved reading about your close family and its great that you have a holiday to look forward too. Thats what helps motivate me.


I agree with your sharing of the bills. As you are married you both should have the same spends money available. You could do this for the grocery budget too. If oh says no remind him of the vows. Whats mine is yours! Lol

Good luck. I have subscribed but will now miss have anything to read as I have read it every spare minute I have over the last two days.

AleMrsT

Hi Rebecca. Thank you for coming along, my diary is full of my thoughts and personal rambling, and is sometimes about my money saving :rotfl: I'm glad you found it inspiring, I have some awesome followers who send me little words of encouragement along the way.

I don't have a huge amount of debt, but compared to my income and how sporadic that can be depending on how much time I need off work, it felt insurmountable at the start of my journey. This forum has really changed my thinking, I now look at what I have in the bank, and spend according to what I have, which is so simple but I have always just spent whatever, whenever, hence my debt!

MissT, I've had a good chat with hubby. He wasnt keen at first, but I did the spreadsheet, pointed out he earns £3000 a year more than me before his pay rise, but I pay £3000 more per year towards our joint bills, so I effectively give him another 3k pay rise! He said it was all pointless, and had a strop, then the next day, he came back from work very apologetic. He hadnt realised it was so unfairly balanced and was annoyed with himself that he hadnt realised and that he's not listened to me when I've previously mentioned we should sit down and go through it.
He has opened a second account with his bank (in his name, we can't have a joint account because my DMP will screw up his now clear credit history), he has ordered a 0% credit card to transfer some of his current balance to (been badgering him to do this for AAAAGES since we found out his credit report is now miraculously clear!). When the cards come, we are going to sit down and work out a set amount to each pay in to the joint account, and he has said he is going to try his hardest not to panic at the thought of discussing money. Because of his past debt problems, he is so used to just burying his head and ignoring it, then feeling cornered when someone mentioned it, that his instincts just told him to make the conversation go away as quickly as possible!
Anyway, I'm so pleased about this change of heart with him, it is all huge progress so I'll keep you posted.

It's nearly a year since my LBM, I'm looking forward to doing a mini review and update, even though my debt hasnt gone down much, it hasnt increased, and every penny I've paid off has reduced the balance, not gone to the banks in interest, so I'm very happy with that!:rotfl:

Its my day off today and I'm waiting at home for the boiler repair man, we've had no heating or hot water since Saturday evening, the Landlord and letting agent have actually been excellent, getting a plumber out straight away on Monday, then getting a contract set up with the manufacturer who are coming today to replace any parts needed and get us up and running. Luckily my husband works at a hotel so he's been going in early to get showered and ready, and I've been making the most of my gym membership by doing a quick 10 minute work out then using the shower! :T

Off to get the ironing done to warm me up! Happy wednesday everyone.

twiggy86

Hey AleMrsT! Happy anniversary! You've done great over the past year. I dread to think where I'd be if I hadn't had my LBM! I don't think its just about getting debt free/not accumulating more debt - these forums have completely changed my approach to spending as you said! Pleased things went well with your OH. I too had to have a chat with my OH re money - its so difficult to not sound like you want an argument!

AleMrsT

Hi everyone.

So, we've let the November payments go out as normal, but as of 1st December, the bills will all come out of our new 'joint' account :j, both paying in £550 per month, we should have a surplus as the combined bills now come to £948 :T This doesn't include grocery's or petrol, as we thought it would be too difficult to sort out the logistics of card payments with only one bank card, so we have decided to just pay petrol and groceries as we need to from our own accounts. Although I've only just realised this only leaves me with a monthly saving of £29.... Time for a rethink. Maybe we'll use the joint account for the large monthly shop then just get bits and bobs as we need them during the month, as we're paying in a surplus of £152 per month to the joint account, then as OH is the one that uses the car (and he's just had a £2500 pay rise) he can fill the car up. :rotfl:

Regardless of how well it works out, it has got us actually talking about and looking at finances together, he was amazed that I've managed to accrue savings despite paying out a huge chunk of our household bills each month, whereas he is still only paying the minimum on his credit card.
He didn't finish the application for the 0% deal, as he (rightly) decided to wait until his permanent management position had been confirmed in writing so that he can put the revised role and salary on the application, to *hopefully* get a larger credit limit or better rate.

Oh got his October bonus in this months pay, so he used it to pay off the £433 balance for the furniture. We weren't sure what was for the best, as as mentioned above he's only paying the minimum on his credit card which is costing him in interest, but we decided to get the furniture paid before the interest free period ended, then the money we were putting towards it, put towards his credit card instead.
I've also said that when he gets his 0% balance transfer, I will pay the monthly minimum payments on that, so that he can plough as much money as possible to getting the remaining balance on his lloyds card down.

I know the whole point of the exercise was to free up some more money for me, but all of my debts are interest free and I'll be paying them for the next 8 years on my DMP, so if we can shave off the cost of his credit card interest and eventually pay it off, we can then get a new car. We seem to have a good solid plan, just need to stick to it!
Will keep you posted how its all going, as always.

In summary of the last year, I am in a MUCH better place than I was, and am far more savvy with the money I do have, despite me earning a lot less than I did a year ago.

I've paid off a small portion of my debt, but every penny I've paid has gone off the balance, so I'm very happy.

Since getting things straight with other half and getting him to open up and discuss money, I feel a lot happier and haven't had any of the wallowing down in the dumps days, so fingers crossed, I have learnt that I just need to be brave and talk about things that are bothering me, I'm useless at opening up and talking face to face.

My next big task is to get a new job! I know I've mentioned this a few times, but I recently realised that the rest of the 'sales' team earn commission each month, and I don't and never have done! The lettings neg who deals with the applications and tenancy move ins receives £5 for each move in during the month (if she's booked the viewing and the viewer then moves in), I never got that when I did that job!!! Also the sales negs get commission if they book in a viewing and take an offer from the same person, when the sale completes, the commission is paid. Although my role is 'admin' I inevitably end up booking viewings and taking offers over the phone, but do not receive commission. My friend (who also works there) has told me to email the managers, but I think its a bit late as someone is transferring from lettings to sales now the lettings manager has returned from mat leave, so I probably won't be doing many more of the viewing arranging etc (I bet he'll be getting commission!!!!!) So, I'm currently job hunting, as always :rotfl:

This post is a lot longer than I anticipated but I've not posted for quite some time so I guess that's why. Off to catch up on reading everyone's diaries, I've not been receiving the email notifications of any new posts which is a bit annoying.

misstara

Loving the positivity in your post definitely think it's a good idea to use some money from the joint fund for a big monthly shop.

AleMrsT

Sorry not posted for a while, not really had much to report. Just checked my online banking balance, it looks scarily low for saying we have another two weeks left before pay day, and I have a few payments to come out before pay day too :eek:

I might have to dip in to the savings or see if OH can transfer me enough to cover the car insurance DD (£29.68). He's had to buy me some new bra's from M&S to replace the one I returned so I'll feel bad asking him to transfer money across to me. I need to be a bit more careful and not get too complacent at the start of the month, I havent done a proper budget for at least two months so I need to get back in to the habit of doing that. However, I think I may be being a bit harsh on myself, as I did pay out £79.90 for our return train tickets to London last weekend (hotel and food costs were covered by the charity), so thats £80 down that I wouldnt have spent in other months. (I could have used the savings for this but trying to save them for Christmas!)

A small victory is that I found out today I have one more days holiday to use at work so I have booked Friday off in two weeks time, as it is my usual hospital appointment and using a holiday day means I will get paid instead of getting a deduction, so my wages for November will be a FULL months pay with no deductions :j Extra pennies for the christmas shopping pot and the first time in a long time that there is no deductions at all.

I found the paperwork for my previous pension that was set up with an old employer, I called them and they said I could set up a direct debit to pay in to it myself, I agreed to pay in £25 per month, but some form of tax relief means £31 actually gets paid in. :T I still have no idea how it all works, and I don't know if when my employer gets the pension scheme sorted I can ask them to use my existing one to pay in to to keep it easier, will have to see how it goes.
I feel a bit better that I am at least making SOME contributions towards it, its a shame I didnt find the paperwork five years ago when I was earning a lot more, I could have been paying into it for the last 5 years, but ah well, better late than never as they say.

No other real updates apart from I had a letter sent to my old address saying that a repayment review is needed for my HCC. I need to scan the letter to StepChange so that they can let them know nothing has changed. I don't want to do a new budget as I actually pay out more now than I did when I started my DMP, but I really don't want to reduce my payments to SC as the current payment is still affordable, and my Estimated DFD is currently 12/07/2023 :rotfl::eek: so I don't want to push that back any further.

Work want to set up a lottery syndicate each week, £2 per week, I'm tempted to join, but if there is one week I don't have the £2 to play it would just be my luck that my numbers are drawn that week and we wouldnt have played them! I need to look into the probability of ACTUALLY winning, I think it would be better for everyone to just put the £2 per week in a savings pot, and use it for a night out or team building thing in the drab Autumn months when morale is low (like now) instead. I think we'd get more out of it, but will see what people say.

I'm supposed to be going on a work night out on Saturday, I'm working during the day until 4, then we are just going in to town, but it is the local street fair this week so it is horrible to get around anywhere, and my bank balance definitely doesnt allow for any spends on a night out. I withdrew £10 today to go to the fair tonight with my friends (been planned for a while), I only spent £2 on some mushy peas and mint sauce (yum yum!), but I'm not entirely sure the remaining £8 is a feasible budget for a night out! :rotfl: Still undecided. OH is at work on Sunday morning, but I would rather him come out with us as it means I will actually stay out a bit longer PLUS he will pay for the drinks! (We will only have soft drinks anyway, I'm not supposed to drink due to the potential damage to my liver, and OH will drive as he is at work the next day).

If we dont go I will feel really guilty as there are currently only 4 of us attending the night out anyway (plus my OH if he comes), so if I don't go it only leaves 3 of them, and there are a total of 11 of us in the office! EEK. Will let you know what I decide!

Off to bed now as I'm quite tired from walking around the street fair for a couple of hours, and I've got two more days at work still to go.

AleMrsT

Frugal day today. I updated my address at the N bank yesterday as I've not had my statements, and i realised I had a savings account with them as well as a CC, loan and current account. I've just gone in to the bank to close the account and withdraw the money. She asked if I wanted to transfer it to the current account that is overdrawn. 'No thank you, I'll just take the cash please'. The cashier then hands over the princely sum of £1.01! My reaction was its a pound I didn't know I had. My friends all think it's hilarious!!:rotfl::rotfl:

misstara

All sounding good AleMrsT Enjoy tonight if you do go out.