My wife has a credit card...

mcpitman

Johnnytwostep wrote: »

thats the way it should be, and if the house isn't clean enough or the dinner is late when i come home from a hard days work then no money for her!! thats how you keep them in their place.

Lol, I suppose you could look at it that way, however it's more so we know what money is where and if bills need to clear with the money that is there I tend to pump more money into the joint account as required.

MSE basics of not paying OD charges or missed payment charges.

I suppose the other point I was trying to make was that there is an assumption that this maybe the OP's fault in some way, which based on the limited knowledge we have from this thread I don't agree with.

sushistar

Gosh, I'm surprised at how many people here have separate finances. My DH and I married young, just out of uni - we had about £200 between us! And our student loans. From day one we've had joint accounts, joint mortgage, joint everything - even for ISAs (which obviously have to be single name) we usually have each other's log in details stashed, just in case one of us was hospitalised or something. Neither of us could borrow without the other knowing without intentional and significant subterfuge (eg going to a new bank in secret, opening a CC, and hiding the post!).

My DH has always been in paid work - I have done paid work varying amounts over the 12 years of our marriage depending on the age of the kids. But note I say PAID work - trust me, I'm now a university tutor and it is nowhere NEAR as hard work as caring for 3 under-5s full time! So in my mind, we've always both worked to contribute to our family, some of it paid, some unpaid. As a result, our assets have been earnt jointly by us both, and we both have access to them and decide together what to spend them on.

I'm a bit shocked at all this talk of 'pin monet' and 'spending money' - very 19th century!!

TBeckett100

Separate accounts lead to less arguments

I worked with a girl who had a joint account with hubby. She would monitor the account like a hawk and once she phoned him to say that she knows which Service station he was at and asked why he withdrew £10.

I couldn't live like that. Also for Christmas presents, if my wife saw my bank statement she would ask why I gave Expedia £5k last month (christmas treat). Keeping finances separate means she doesn't know what I buy her and I don't see the £10 she has spent in M&S on socks for my Xmas present.

Nasqueron

sushistar wrote: »

Gosh, I'm surprised at how many people here have separate finances. My DH and I married young, just out of uni - we had about £200 between us! And our student loans. From day one we've had joint accounts, joint mortgage, joint everything - even for ISAs (which obviously have to be single name) we usually have each other's log in details stashed, just in case one of us was hospitalised or something. Neither of us could borrow without the other knowing without intentional and significant subterfuge (eg going to a new bank in secret, opening a CC, and hiding the post!).

My DH has always been in paid work - I have done paid work varying amounts over the 12 years of our marriage depending on the age of the kids. But note I say PAID work - trust me, I'm now a university tutor and it is nowhere NEAR as hard work as caring for 3 under-5s full time! So in my mind, we've always both worked to contribute to our family, some of it paid, some unpaid. As a result, our assets have been earnt jointly by us both, and we both have access to them and decide together what to spend them on.

I'm a bit shocked at all this talk of 'pin monet' and 'spending money' - very 19th century!!

Different times and all that

My partner and I have been together approaching 11 years, she earns a lot more than I do and had a house/mortgage before she met me so I pay her a rent monthly. We do not have any shared finances - closest is being insured on each others cars. I don't officially know what her salary is (happen to have accidentally seen it) and don't think she knows what I earn though it's a lot less than her. She pays the bills - I do the weekly shopping which she pays me back for. I do most of the housework and do stuff like energy price comparisons to save cash. When we go on holiday she pays and I contribute a % of the total costs which we agree on.

We both work full time and spend our salary as we see fit on our interests. We are fortunate to not have kids so don't have any worries about our spare time or leisure activities.

I see joint finances as a thing for the past or for other couples but I would not expect her to cover any excessive spending I did, nor I her - closest we get to that is a BT card I suggested for her to reduce interest payments on her CC

chelseachris

Nothing in life is every black and white. My partner would see £80 of MAC make-up as an essential, whereas I see it as a luxury. Equally, the £20 a month I spend on Sky Sports is probably seen as a similar luxury. Think about why your OH has spent the money. Maybe she is bored, lonely or a little down. Maybe she is buying the things she wished you had bought her. People spend money for lots of reasons. Be calm, have patience and try to see any underlying reasons.

SuperHan

sushistar wrote: »

Gosh, I'm surprised at how many people here have separate finances.
[...]
I'm a bit shocked at all this talk of 'pin monet' and 'spending money' - very 19th century!!

I echo this!

We have had joint accounts since very early on, I pretty much manage all of the money (as I am more savvy with bank accounts etc that earn good interest!) so I just tell the OH where to set up standing orders to and I know we're getting the best deals for us on our cash.

We also have separate accounts where our salaries get paid, we both transfer about 2/3 of our salary in to the joint account to cover bills or spend for the house, and the rest that's left we both spend how we see fit.

Neither of us would buy something extravagant without at least letting the other know, but we both know roughly how much disposable income we have between us at any given moment and so usually know whether we can afford it or not before even discussing it!

No arguments about who pays, because at the end of the day it's all a joint pot!

tripled

Women can't take in complicated information. She just needs to know her limits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

Glitterbaby

mcpitman wrote: »

All other monies required by my wife, she asks me permission to have from them joint account.

The 1950's called and it wants its misogynistic attitude back.

Pinkypants

heartbreak_star wrote: »

None, if it were me.

OP, you should NOT have to take the fall for you wife's reckless spending. My OH pays nothing towards my debt and I would not allow him to.

HBS x

But surely in a way he does, as you have less to put into the family pot of bills, so to speak.

My wife doesn't understand the more she spends on crap, the more I have to spend from my wages on groceries etc...

If you live together and share a house the I consider all income as joint income, doesn't matter if separate accounts or not.

lovinituk

Sounds like the other side of this thread... https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5105433