Grandmother losing EVERYTHING!

patanne

Actually I don't think you will find many "banished" to care homes unnecessarily. A lot in my mother's home have had children die before them or have never had children (or indeed ever been married, post war there was a shortage of men).

Newly_retired

My mum told us that if Dad died first, which he did, she WANTED to go into a care home. There she had a new lease of life, no worries where the next meal was coming from, no housework, plenty of company and entertainment when she wanted it.
She had a good quality of life for her last six months.

My only regret is that I didn't put her into a private nursing home for her last two weeks rather than let her linger on a hospital ward.

I would gladly have spent my inheritance to make her more comfortable, if I'd realised the situation

LHW99

May be worth investigating "Immediate Care needs Annuities" once the house is sold - as mentioned by an earlier poster.

Use https://www.unbiased.co.uk and look for an IFA that is a member of the society of later life advisors (SOLLA).

They may be able to point you to a way of ensuring her care is paid for as long as needed, and it may only need part of the house proceeds. That depends on her exact medical condition, which is why you have to access one via a suitable adviser.

Power of Attorney will also help

cte1111

Steve_xx wrote: »

I don't think I said that it was the same thing. I pointed out that while people will readily banish their parents to a care home while they wouldn't contemplate doing the same for their kids.

Why is it 'banishing' to ensure that the people you love are being well looked after in a secure environment by carers who have skills and equipment to look after them?

What about families like mine, where 80 something blind and deaf Grandma, 60 something Dad with dementia and 2 young children all needed looking after at the same time?

My Dad and Gran both stayed in their own homes for as long as they were able to manage with carers, friends and family supporting and visiting. My Gran took the decision to move into a care home herself and it was a great relief for both her and us. My Dad would rather have stayed in his own home but after 2 life threatening accidents we reluctantly had to accept that for his own and other people's safety, he needed full time care in a residential setting.

Not everyone has the luxury of the physical and mental health needed to be able to abandon everything and become a full time carer. Fortunately there are lots of other people who choose to work in care and do a great job. They do need paying and those of us who are fortunate enough to have assets need to pay for it, as otherwise the care system would fall apart.

[Deleted User]

Archi_Bald wrote: »

I, and by the looks of it others, also read something about "for the sake of my fathers inheritance " in a post the OP seems to have removed now..

I have not removed any posts or comments.You are mistaken.I did complain that some posts were abusive and it looks like they have been removed by the said posters.

Nothing has been changed or edited by myself.

Steve_xx

cte1111 wrote: »

Why is it 'banishing' to ensure that the people you love are being well looked after in a secure environment by carers who have skills and equipment to look after them?

What about families like mine, where 80 something blind and deaf Grandma, 60 something Dad with dementia and 2 young children all needed looking after at the same time?

My Dad and Gran both stayed in their own homes for as long as they were able to manage with carers, friends and family supporting and visiting. My Gran took the decision to move into a care home herself and it was a great relief for both her and us. My Dad would rather have stayed in his own home but after 2 life threatening accidents we reluctantly had to accept that for his own and other people's safety, he needed full time care in a residential setting.

Not everyone has the luxury of the physical and mental health needed to be able to abandon everything and become a full time carer. Fortunately there are lots of other people who choose to work in care and do a great job. They do need paying and those of us who are fortunate enough to have assets need to pay for it, as otherwise the care system would fall apart.

You're taking what I said completely out of the context in which is was intended.

I did not say that care homes were either bad, nor insecure. These are notions that you have chosen to introduce.

Whether you want to believe it, or not, there are many who do choose to banish their parents to care homes for all sorts of reasons that may not necessarily be with prime consideration for the individual involved. Though conversely I do accept that there are people who do carefully consider that the best option for their loved one is a maximum care environment.

cte1111

Steve_xx wrote: »

You're taking what I said completely out of the context in which is was intended.

I did not say that care homes were either bad, nor insecure. These are notions that you have chosen to introduce.

Whether you want to believe it, or not, there are many who do choose to banish their parents to care homes for all sorts of reasons that may not necessarily be with prime consideration for the individual involved. Though conversely I do accept that there are people who do carefully consider that the best option for their loved one is a maximum care environment.

I think you must now realise that using the word 'banish' to describe the decision to use residential care was unpleasant and unwise. Your posts are critical of people who make decision different to those that you think you would make (or maybe have made). Perhaps next time you would consider the feelings of the many people who have been affected by similar situations rather than trying to make them feel guilty. I can't see any other reason for your posts.

Archi_Bald

Deleted_User wrote: »

I have not removed any posts or comments.You are mistaken.

Nothing has been changed or edited.

My apologies, I was wrong, your post is indeed still there.

Deleted_User wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.

I notice that the property might be disregarded if a member of the family lives there.
How about if I go and live there(i'm her grandson)This is not ideal for me but for the sake of my fathers inheritance this is possible.

[Deleted User]

Archi_Bald wrote: »

My apologies, I was wrong, your post is indeed still there.

Thank-you for the apology.Much appreciated.

Steve_xx

cte1111 wrote: »

I think you must now realise that using the word 'banish' to describe the decision to use residential care was unpleasant and unwise. Your posts are critical of people who make decision different to those that you think you would make (or maybe have made). Perhaps next time you would consider the feelings of the many people who have been affected by similar situations rather than trying to make them feel guilty. I can't see any other reason for your posts.

No I don't realise that at all. I've explained the context in which I used the word and I've explained that I did not apply that to everyone. What bit of that is difficult for you to understand?

In any case I'm not criticising peoples choices. I'm making the point that peoples choices may not always primarily be in the best interest of the individual.