Christmas for adult children

snowleopard61

sulphate wrote: »

I would much, much rather have the cash rather than something I'm never going to use but feel obligated to keep because it's a present. We're having a baby in February and are only asking for money/vouchers for Christmas. Hopefully this way we can actually spend some of our time off work buying the things we want to buy for the baby instead of using that time to find space for all the fragrance diffusers, scented candles, chutneys, hat/scarf sets, toiletries etc :rotfl:

I do take your point (although personally I actually really like being given, and nearly always use, all the fragrance diffusers, etc. etc., so long as they aren't horrible ones!), and this works quite well as long as the giving of cash/vouchers is one-sided, such as an older family member to a younger. What seems particularly pointless and, I don't know, slightly unloving perhaps, is when you end up exchanging roughly the same amount of cash/vouchers on both sides. When it gets to that point, I feel like scrapping the whole thing, because there's no care or thought in it.

snowleopard61

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Anything I want, I tend to buy myself.

I've heard so many people say this; thing is, I rarely buy anything at all substantial for myself - new clothes etc. -if I can manage without it, so it's a great treat to be given things. I suppose the counter-argument would be that if I didn't spend so much on others' presents I might be able to buy the things I'd like myself the rest of the year!

bargainbetty

My brother and I stopped getting piles of stuff once we were financially independent. Mum and Dad helped us out throughout the year with other bits anyway, and our housekeeping would have barely made a dent in their costs, so it made sense to not blow fortunes on Christmas.

I have a reasonably set amount for each present, and only indulge my mum and my nieces. I give the nieces a very small 'tree-present' (under a fiver) and take them out for a day somewhere instead. We see a show, visit somewhere, we've been hawking etc - they appreciate the time and experience much more than a thing.

Indie_Kid

snowleopard61 wrote: »

I've heard so many people say this; thing is, I rarely buy anything at all substantial for myself - new clothes etc. -if I can manage without it, so it's a great treat to be given things. I suppose the counter-argument would be that if I didn't spend so much on others' presents I might be able to buy the things I'd like myself the rest of the year!

True.

That being said, I asked for a pair of earphones last year. I had no idea where to start with what ones to look at. Having a brother who has more idea than me, I decided to not bother to buy them myself and asked him to buy me some instead.

We tend to have a set amount for presents. I got my sister's present first last year because it was on offer. I was then asked how much I'd spent on it and was told that would be the limit we could spend on each person.

Jet

I think while they are financially reliant on you, then I would treat them as you always have done.

Once they are working full time, then I would taper things off a bit, but ultimately they are still your child and if you can afford it and they appreciate it, then get them something special.

red_devil

There are so many people with nothing and yet people are indulging others with gifts they probably dont need, will soon get bored of or can afford to buy themselves.

why all this spending because its jesus birthday its so ott.

What are people trying to prove by going overboard.

Morglin

Becles wrote: »

My eldest is 18 at the end of November. He's at college full time so he's still fully financially dependent on me.

I was teasing him yesterday saying now he's an adult, he'll just be getting a token £10 gift for Christmas while his younger brother and sister will still be getting a big pile of presents from Santa! I will still spend the same on him as I usually do.

I was just wondering when did you stop buying the child like stack of presents for adult children? Is it more when they are financially independent or did you stop at a certain age?

Ours are about 40, and we still haven't stopped......:eek:

It never ends.......:rotfl:

Lin

Anja

We give them some spending money so that they can go to the January Sales! There's nothing worse than getting something for Christmas that you don't like/want! They also get token bits under the tree as they love opening presents.

:santa2:

hecateh

I love Christmas and have struggled with many of the same issues.
As I child I was one of seven - my parents wanted to treat us all equally so we all had a similar (small) amount spent,
This continued as we got older so me and my kids got the same as my brothers and their kids - who were all earning much more than me. All their kids also had 2 sets of grandparents. This was all fine for me but I felt it for my kids as they got what I (a single parent - left by my husband) could afford plus a smallish present from grandma and granddad - whilst their cousins got more from mum and dad, loads from their other grandparents as well as my parents contribution.
'Big' presents normally stopped from mum and dad once we were earning.
Once most of us had kids we bought for kids only, the ones with no kids by this time had enormous salaries.
The one big exception was Christmas 2007. The whole family was getting together for the first time since forever, including the 'prodigal son' from Australia. We decided on a 'Secret Santa' which is a solution I haven't seen on here. A family friend who knew us all organised the swaps and we agreed on a £20 limit. This meant there was a reasonable amount to buy a present. We shared interests, ideas and 'Amazon' lists - for inspiration rather than fixed gifts. Within the gathering we all had our individual family gift opening sessions and then gathered together in the afternoon for the 'Secret Santa'. It was a great success, with everyone getting something they were pleased with and everyone enjoying the 'secret' bit. The only exception being that as the parents were by then in their 90's. we all put into a kitty for them to get some good pressies and they weren't expected to join in the giving as Dad paid for the Christmas Dinner for us all at a local hostelry

laura_hoggle

I'm 30 and my brother is 34, and we still get spoilt at Christmas. Mum always asks us what we want, and tries to throw in a few surprises, and although she spends less than she did when we were kids, it's still a lot. I got married last year & she told me that she discussed with dad how much to spend on my husband, and they agreed they should treat him he same as us!

Mum has always tried to keep the costs & numbers of presents equal, so if one of us has an expensive present the rest might be made up with little things like smelliest. As we have both moved & now own our own homes the gifts have become more practical. It's actually me telling my parents they should spend less on us, and my brother disagreeing!

Christmas will be different this year as my husband and I are hosting, although I can see them continuing as they have done until any grandchildren appear, then things may change!