Christmas for adult children

birtles1010

We have 3 'layers' of family - adult children, big grandchildren & under school age children
The adults get a 'christmas tree present' max approx £10
The older grandchildren/step grandchildren get £50 - we stopped presents for them ages ago as giving a teenager something that is out moded is wasting the money for them - they prefer money, but like the adults they get a 'christmas tree present'
The little ones will get a big present and a 'christmas tree present'
However last year our children started giving us 'real' presents again so I might organise a '£10 or £15 lottery' where everyone picks a name out of a hat and buys a present for that person - anonymously - so every adult will get 1 present. As some children have less money than other they won't feel obliged to break the bank.
What do you reckon should be the max amount spent on this 'lottery present'?..............

happyinflorida

I grew up with my mum buying my presents - I'm an only child

My dad bought my mum fantastic presents, very expensive and really lovely. I never got anything from him.

My mum bought me cheap stuff that she liked and that was practical - clothes, notebooks (?) and only educational toys - she was a teacher and there was no fun in our house

With my boys - we buy what we can afford. They've always had lots of toys when they were young - if we hadn't got the money, they got less and were told why and they understood - they're both very good with money now.

We're not well off now so we don't do presents - none of us! If the boys want some chocolate, I ask them first and if they say yes, they get a stocking.

Mrs_Ryan

Every year my Mum says everyone's only getting £10 this year. The year before last my big present was a pair of Ugg Boots (I had them in November though as I was desperate for a pair of warm boots) last year she bought me a DVD/Blu Ray player (although I needed it to watch my Open Uni module stuff on) and this year she has bought me a laptop. A pink touch screen laptop my sister and brother have kids though so they don't get 'big' presents as such but my Mum buys them expensive smaller presents instead. My budget for everyone is £50 each for Mum and Dad, £100 for OH and £40 for everyone else. I'm trying to keep that up this year although I'm on ESA as unfortunately it turns into a sniping contest with my other siblings if one of us spends less :mad: Its my Mum's 65th on Saturday though and while I was working I bought her a Pandora bracelet and opal birthday charm so that's my extravagence for the year there!! I'm going home for Xmas this year- my parents live 200 miles away so normally the type of gifts I get are dictated by ease of transportation when wrapped

Spendless

happyinflorida wrote: »

I grew up with my mum buying my presents - I'm an only child

My dad bought my mum fantastic presents, very expensive and really lovely. I never got anything from him.

My mum bought me cheap stuff that she liked and that was practical - clothes, notebooks (?) and only educational toys - she was a teacher and there was no fun in our house

With my boys - we buy what we can afford. They've always had lots of toys when they were young - if we hadn't got the money, they got less and were told why and they understood - they're both very good with money now.

We're not well off now so we don't do presents - none of us! If the boys want some chocolate, I ask them first and if they say yes, they get a stocking.

Were your parents together? It sounds like they were a couple (Dad bought Mum presents) but then you say you got presents from your Mum but not Dad. Weren't they joint presents from them both?

I once worked with a woman who received separate presents from her Mum and Dad, who not only were together but ran a business together and still had younger children at home. We once asked her why this was and she didn't really know.

nomadgirl

I feel so mean after reading what other people have said about present buying! When my grandkids were little I filled a sack full of all sorts of bits and pieces but as they got older the bits and pieces got more expensive! If I ask them what they would like, they always ask for money, so I give them each money, £20 (they're all in their teens now) and choose a surprise each for them to open on the day.
With my own two children it's slightly different. I help them out if/when they need it during the year and at Christmas we exchange one present each, something they wouldn't buy for themselves.

liz33rtd

We buy for both ours both in their 20s and both working with good jobs. We do stockings , big and little presents just as always. We have a small family and so very few people to buy for. We give them something like cinema annual passes or money towards a big purchases. As long as we can afford to do so, we are happy to do this. They are also very generous to us, though we certainly don't expect it. We are fortunate we know but we all love Christmas. We buy for their partners too . Maybe if we had lots of relatives we would do things differently.

suffolk.lass_2

My kids are 19 and 22 and I spend as much if not more on their presents. They remain my children however old they get but I always ask for a list and choose mainly from that. As as my family tend to ignore presents for Christmas, birthdays and other events (graduation, wedding, christening etc.) I have always felt disregarded - not a feeling I wish for my children so as they get older I will continue to appreciate them and their partners, children and enjoy sharing their enjoyment.

minerva_windsong

Up until last year my sisters and I (now aged 27, 35 and 39) still got a pile of presents - as others have said though it just got smaller because most of what we asked for was stuff like nice make-up, books, clothes etc. We also got a stocking each filled with smaller things like socks, toiletries etc (plus the obligatory bag of chocolate coins, apple, satsuma and a pound coin in the toe!).


Last year however we decided to do a secret Santa with a £50 limit - though I suspect my big sis spent more than that on me - which included the 'kids' (me, OH, sisters and their husbands) and my parents. My mum and dad still get the stocking stuff for me and my sisters though! It worked really well so I think we'll be doing the same again this year.

Domina356

My brothers, sister and I are all between 35 and 43 and we still receive a stocking from Santa.
The items are all lower priced or novelty gifts. Our respective spouses are also included as are all our children and stepchildren.
For a main present we have a limit of £25-30 and email each other a list of things we need or want. We each pick a name from a hat, and buy for that person.
No one then spends too much on unwanted gifts or gets too stressful, and everyone has something to open on Christmas Day. The most important thing is that we all try and spend time together.

lostinrates

suffolk.lass wrote: »

My kids are 19 and 22 and I spend as much if not more on their presents. They remain my children however old they get but I always ask for a list and choose mainly from that. As as my family tend to ignore presents for Christmas, birthdays and other events (graduation, wedding, christening etc.) I have always felt disregarded - not a feeling I wish for my children so as they get older I will continue to appreciate them and their partners, children and enjoy sharing their enjoyment.

What about when you retire and your income is less , or their life priories change?