Christmas for adult children

Person_one

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

I don't mind not getting anything as to be honest there nothing that I want BUT it did seem odd when the various people said things along the line of "don't bother getting us anything at Christmas just get something for the kids". You turn up at various houses with piles of presents and leave with nothing but hopefully! a thank you.

Its not even about the actual present, is it? Some of the things I've had for Christmas that have been most touching and most treasured have cost coppers, or been homemade, or a gesture/action rather than a physical thing.

Its about showing people you care and you wanted to do a little something for them to make them smile. I don't see why we should stop doing that just because the people we care about reach a certain age!

Person_one

fabforty wrote: »

I'm not sure that I agree with the idea that present giving is about 'reciprocation' either.

Traditionally, at Christmas, gifts are exchanged and everybody gives to each other, in contrast to other gift-giving occasions like birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, housewarmings etc. where one or two people are the focus and they get the presents! That's what I mean by reciprocal, its the only time in the year it happens that way really.

Person_one

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I do get it would feel rubbish for you - I think the thing is P1, you do have gift (excuse the pun) for present giving, so the whole experience is really fun for you and a fulfilling way to express your love. For myself , present buying is a form of torture and stress, so it's an utter relief if I can come to a reciprocal arrangement not to buy. It's even worse for my DH so we don't exchange presents and it is a relief. We find other ways to be generous and thoughtful.

I can understand that, if its really a chore and you get no pleasure from the whole thing. If its a truly reciprocal agreement and both parties feel the same then that's a bit different to say, the majority of a family or group of friends agreeing to stop and one or two feeling they have to go along with it.

Brighton_belle

P1, what do you think the solution is where say, 2 thirds of the family feel utter relief to stop present giving and 1 third would like to continue: who's needs take precedence? Is there a solution?

lulu_92

I'm 22 and my mum and stepdad do the same as they have done for the past 7 years. Each of us (we're 24, 22, 18 and 16) get £80 each for Christmas from their joint account and each parent will spend as much as they like from their "pocket money" on us.

This year I asked for some converse as my stepdad went to Texas on business and they were cheaper over there so I have about £45 left of my "budget" but as I have moved out I have pretty much everything I need - I'll probably ask for some make up or clothes.

Person_one

Brighton_belle wrote: »

P1, what do you think the solution is where say, 2 thirds of the family feel utter relief to stop present giving and 1 third would like to continue: who's needs take precedence? Is there a solution?

I'd say its probably only appropriate to bring it up where its a 1:1 swap, and where you feel pretty confident before you even ask that the other person will feel the same way. Two thirds of the family can always just get vouchers or give cash if they really detest trying to think of something every year.

I know others will feel differently, but that would be my take on it.

[Deleted User]

Sorry for gate crashing but why have so many peoples signatures "gone mad"?

Counting_Pennies_2

Deleted_User wrote: »

Sorry for gate crashing but why have so many peoples signatures "gone mad"?

There was a big spamming episode in the early hours of this morning that seemed to go on for hours.


They have got it under control but it meant they had to do some funny coding so some posts and signatures have gone a little crazy.


Hopefully all sorted soon

fairy_lights

Father Christmas used to visit my older sister and leave a stocking at the end of her bed until she was well in to her 30's...she lives at the opposite end of the country to our parents but always came home for Christmas, so I suppose he knew where to find her.
I live in the same town as my parents so visit during the day at Christmas but don't stay overnight, so father Christmas stopped visiting me when I moved out at 23. Clearly my parents didn't give him my forwarding address. I'm not bitter...honest

Torry_Quine

Person_one wrote: »

I'd say its probably only appropriate to bring it up where its a 1:1 swap, and where you feel pretty confident before you even ask that the other person will feel the same way. Two thirds of the family can always just get vouchers or give cash if they really detest trying to think of something every year.

I know others will feel differently, but that would be my take on it.

I'm with you on this one. It's very different if there are no children to cater for.

I can't really remember when Santa stopped leaving a sack of presents but it would have been much younger when we realised that Santa comes to young children.