Thank you letters - AIBU

onlyroz

As long as a thank-you occurs in some form I don't see what the problem is. It can be in person, a phone call, email, text or a hand-written letter on watermarked paper written in ink made from the tears of angels. But it shouldn't be expected to do this more than once.

On the other hand our nieces never said thank-you for birthday and Christmas presents, and so we stopped buying them.

purpleshoes_2

Peter333 wrote: »

You're missing the point I think.

Everyone expects and appreciates good manners, but the older generation expect thank you cards and an essay from a child, thanking them, and ranting on about how amazing the gift is, in addition to already being thanked verbally; and they cuss and b1tch like an old curmudgeon if they don't get what they expect!

That's not 'good manners.' It's ludicrous and unreasonable.

FTR, a verbal thank you was fine OP.

My mum is 65, she doesn't expect any of that, shes extremely laid back, still works full time and wouldn't care less if she bought a present for someone and didn't get a thank you card. Shes also as far from an old curmudgeon as its possible to get.

How would you know if someone cusses either?

Think you've made more than a few generalisations there.

FBaby

It depends on the situation. If it is the person who gave the present who calls to speak to mum, mum says X has something to say, urge them to the phone saying 'say thank you to X', and the kid shout a quick thank you before running off, then no, I don't think this is enough.

If mum makes the call, the child is on the line, says a few words about what they'd done with the gift, and say thank you, it's a real nice present. Then no, I don't think it should be followed by a card.

Saying that, people usually appreciate cards much better because it shows that the child has made a real effort to say thank you. The whole point of saying thank you is to show real appreciation, not doing so because it ticks the box of rules. Spending time to say thank you in accordance to the event, age etc... is what is appropriate. I made my kids write cards to everyone when they were little. They used to pester about it, but I explained to them that the person took time to earn the money, then to think what to get, then to go and buy it, wrap it etc... to make them happy, so spending a few minutes to do a nice card was fair. Now they are older, I expect them to think about buying the cards (or doing them themselves).