Bit trivial, but a little sensitive. Advice needed please.

Flossie.

Hi.

Just a little bit of advice needed please. And some suggestions.

I love my hubby with all my heart, I do, and we have been together over 25 years. But he has the most DREADFUL snoring. It's must be 10 on the Richter scale!

Therefore, as much as we love each other, and we are still affectionate and loving; we have separate bedrooms, and have had for about 8-9 years if I'm being honest, since we got a 3 bed house. We are both happy with it, and have a great marriage.

Thing is, we want to book a holiday for December; a coach trip abroad (probably Germany,) for 3 nights, 4 days. But the last time we went away together (about 2 years ago to London,) and shared a room, (2 nights, 3 days,) we had to get the train home, after the first night, because I didn't get a wink of sleep, and I was really tired and fatigued and stressed. I couldn't cope with a second night in the same bedroom.

He had taken a sleeping tablet, so he could sleep, and went into such a deep sleep that I couldn't rouse him at ALL. God knows what would've happened if there had been a fire!

Anyway, I want to book a trip for us for December, but I REALLY want to book separate rooms. I asked the travel firm some weeks back if it was possible to do this, as I wanted to go with a 'platonic male friend.' And they said 'yes you can, you just pay the single person's supplement.'

But how can I approach them about me wanting a separate room from my husband? They will probably think it's weird, or just say 'no' because we are a married couple.

What can I say? I must admit he is quite overweight (5 ft 10 and 17.5 stone,) and I know he needs to lose some weight (I do too!) And that is one of the reasons for his snoring, but he did snore quite bad even when he was 3-4 stone lighter: so much so that it disturbed me: but now it's horrendous. He has been to the doctor in the past, but now refuses to keep going, as nothing works. Thank God we have separate bedrooms in our house!

As I said, what can I say to the holiday firm? I don't want to say 'health reasons' or it may compromise the holiday insurance.

I don't want to go book flights and rooms separately either, as it actually ends up costing a lot more than going on a cheap coach trip, and we live a LONG way from an airport, even a long way from a train station; so it's a lot of faffing about with transfers and a lot of time wasting. Whereas, the coach trip picks up 3 miles from us, and takes us to the ferry port, and across the channel, and straight to the hotel, and escorts us everywhere, sorting excursions and all sorts. Plus, there's a rep.

Any advice welcome. The advice I'm looking for is how to broach the subject of separate rooms with my husband on our trip, to the travel agent, and what I can say... not how to calm the snoring, or suggestions to wear earplugs. They don't do much anyway, and I really need to have separate rooms or we can't go. (But thanks anyway.)

Advice from people who have had the same issue would be good. But advice from others welcome.

edited to add: I am also worried we will book separate rooms and when we get to the hotel, they will put us in the same room as we're a married couple. LOL, I am a worrier, I know.

19lottie82

I think you're over thinking the whole thing about how to explain to the travel company that your husband and yourself want separate rooms, they will see this all the time. There's really no problem. It's not illegal to not share a room with your OH on holiday, you know.

It won't make any difference to your travel insurance either.

If you really feel you have to offer an explanation (which you don't), just tell the truth!

fairy_lights

Just tell the holiday company you want to book separate rooms, it's really none of their business why and as the paying customer you should be able to book what you want - two rooms will cost more than one anyway and I'm sure they will happily take the extra money! If it feels awkward though you can always be honest and say "he snores really loudly and I don't want my holiday ruined by lack of sleep".
Maybe your husband should be the one to explain to the travel agent that you want separate rooms though, after all it's him that's the cause of the problem!

lostinrates

Just ask for two rooms. .

As said, they will be happy to are the extra money. Some people will book twin beds or two rooms for religious/ cultural reasons, others because their husbands or wives snore. they might pause to wonder all sort of situations, or just move straight on to the next booking.

Don't worry, and enjoy your holiday!

aileth

Agree with everyone else. Happily married couples sleeping in separate bedrooms is more common than some might think for a variety of reasons and chances are the holiday company won't even bat an eyelid.

My grandparents used to sleep in different rooms because of my granddad's snoring plus he liked having the full bed and they were married almost 50 years. They used to go on coach trips all the time and have separate bedrooms.

Relax, enjoy your (snore-free) holiday

peachyprice

Just ask for two singles, no need to explain why. If they ask, which I doubt very, very much they will, tell them it's none of their business.

fivetide

I believe you can get an operation now to reduce snoring, however, as you say, the 'big' issue is his weight. Saying 'nothing works' is refusing to accept he needs to do something about it so I would certainly urge him to get this sorted. The next step will be sleep apnea which will really affect his sleep too as he'll need to wear a mask etc as well. Being healthy is certainly something you can both do together though to encourage him http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-15184632


As for the rooms, don't worry. As others have said, you are the paying customer, it has nothing to do with the agent what requests you have especially if they are perfectly reasonable like this.

whitewing

You could ask if they have separate rooms next to each other.

I don't think they will bat an eyelid.

Flossie.

Oh wow, thanks guys. (And gals) You have made me feel so much better and less of a freak haha. So I should just literally say 'I would like to book a holiday for 2 people please, with 2 separate single rooms, and pay the supplement.' ???

Glad to hear that it's not massively uncommon.

Has anyone else done this/had to do this?

Gotta dash. Doc's appointment. Back later.

elsien

The holiday company really won't care - they've probably had all sorts over the years. And if you've booked and paid separate rooms they can't just stick you in the same one because you're married. Although if that still worries you, just don't tell them.

You do have my sympathies on the snoring front. I go on holiday with my mother and despite ear plugs etc I just cannot stay in the same room as her without wanting to kill her by day 2. We mainly go self catering so that I can decamp to the settee. Doesn't matter what position she lies in, or how much I prod her, she can bring the roof down.

Having said that, Mum losing weight has made a big difference both to her snoring and her energy levels - she was obviously getting far more disturbed nights than she realised and was permanently tired. She still snores but not as continously or as loudly so we're now at the point where earplugs is just about do-able for the same room. For a few days anyway. After which I generally want to kill her for entirely different reasons. :rotfl:

peachyprice

Flossie. wrote: »

Oh wow, thanks guys. (And gals) You have made me feel so much better and less of a freak haha. So I should just literally say 'I would like to book a holiday for 2 people please, with 2 separate single rooms, and pay the supplement.' ???

Yes, that all you have to say.

You could be unmarried and travelling with your brother for all they know, I'm sure they wouldn't insist you shared with him just because you have the same surname!!!