hate it when people are shocked

RuthnJasper

midlander81 wrote: »

Now that I am on top of our debts I feel happier being more open about owing money. Before I used to avoid debt conversations with colleagues etc for fear of judgement.


Got into a conversation yesterday about money with some workmates ( I should have known better) and admitted that we owed more than 40K at the start of our journey.


One of my colleagues said that she was shocked and that she had never known anyone with that sort of debt level.


I tried to explain that it is a lot but relatively it's payable ( we have a joint salary of almost 70K).


This got me thinking... is a 40K debt REALLY that unusual these days? I mean, we are normal people and we managed it! I know that debt is all relative but is 40K on a salary of 70K considered 'shocking'?

Know what you mean, OP. But it really is no-one's business but yours. Every situation is different. Your colleague was a bit crass. But at least you're dealing with your situation rather than allowing it to fester unchecked. Good luck to you. x

Jagraf

Why does a high income make people shocked about more debt?

The higher your income the more credit is available to you, the more temptation you have, the harder it is to find another job on the same salary, etc.

James_B.

Jagraf wrote: »

Why does a high income make people shocked about more debt?

Because a high income allows far better financial planning, in general. Even a prudent person will find it very hard to build up an emergency fund on £10k per year, but if you are on £100k, then you can live a pretty reasonable lifestyle out of your salary and also put aside a good amount for a rainy day.

Growurown

Our debt was over £40,000. We earned good wages between the two of us but unfortunately one of us (and it wasn't me) wasn't prepared to save to buy the goodies. Very much the I want it now mentality, and why not? Earning good money, working hard I deserve a few treats don't I? Anyway it all eventually went pear shaped and now we are on a DMP paying it all back and I am hoping to be debt free by the end of 2015.

We all make mistakes, we all have our demons. We should have managed our money better but we didn't. £40,000 doesn't shock me or surprise me. Lots of people have debts way over that amount over on the DMP mutual support thread.

Jagraf

James_B. wrote: »

Because a high income allows far better financial planning, in general. Even a prudent person will find it very hard to build up an emergency fund on £10k per year, but if you are on £100k, then you can live a pretty reasonable lifestyle out of your salary and also put aside a good amount for a rainy day.

I'm sure it is easier to save on a higher salary. I'm saying its also easy for your financial situation to spiral out of control in bigger amounts.

fairy_lights

CeeGee81181 wrote: »

To everyone who is passing judgement here, there's a little saying: 'There, but for the grace of god, go I' All the people who are judging you don't know you so whether they are saying it's bad or not, they don't matter. They are judging your debt badly perhaps because they haven't had to go through the hard times that got you into the debt in the first place. They don't really know your circumstances inside out like you do.

Seriously? The OP asked if people would find that level of debt shocking. And quite a few people have replied that yes, it is shocking. But being shocked isn't the same as being judgemental, £40k is a lot of money to most people and I would be very surprised if any of my friends told me they had that much debt. That doesn't mean I would make assumptions and judgements about their lifestyle though.
If anyone is being judgemental here it's you.

Former_MSE_Andrea

Congratulations Jagraf!

Don't forget to post on the Debt Free Roll of Honour if you haven't already

greenval

The original question was simply would you be shocked to hear someone had £40k debt, so, straight answer is yes. That's not a judgement on the person with the debt.


Do I respect those on here who are determined to clear their debt? Yes
Do I understand that many find themselves in debt due to difficult times ? yes


But I feel old because I still regard credit as a last resort or a good thing so long as you can pay it of at the end of the month. I have been in work and then off work due to disability so I haven't had it easy either.
This thread contains opposing views, allegations of people being judgemental etc but at the end of the day the only winners in the debate are the providers of credit who are making money out of those who borrow.
I have a very simple/ frugal lifestyle. That is my choice and it isn't for everyone but I'm not losing sleep about what I owe and the money some company is making out of me.
I hope this does not cause offence but it explains why I feel as I do.

Debtfree2018_2

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I didn't even notice which section it was in actually. I was commenting on the points made and wasn't the only one to make the same type of comment but the one you have singled out for some reason.

I made the point that I would be mortified at having debt, how is that not Christian?

Sorry if you felt like I was singling you out.

Judging isn't very Christian especially if you haven't been there yourself

Torry_Quine

Debtfree2018 wrote: »

Sorry if you felt like I was singling you out.

Judging isn't very Christian especially if you haven't been there yourself

Thanks for the apology but you did single me out for some reason.

As others have said it isn't judging to be shocked at something just a normal human reaction. Yes I haven't been in the position of having a large amount of debt but that doesn't mean I can't have an opinion.