hate it when people are shocked

midlander81

Now that I am on top of our debts I feel happier being more open about owing money. Before I used to avoid debt conversations with colleagues etc for fear of judgement.


Got into a conversation yesterday about money with some workmates ( I should have known better) and admitted that we owed more than 40K at the start of our journey.


One of my colleagues said that she was shocked and that she had never known anyone with that sort of debt level.


I tried to explain that it is a lot but relatively it's payable ( we have a joint salary of almost 70K).


This got me thinking... is a 40K debt REALLY that unusual these days? I mean, we are normal people and we managed it! I know that debt is all relative but is 40K on a salary of 70K considered 'shocking'?

belleandthebudget

It's probably the fact that nobody seems to like to talk about money, particularly in the UK, most people I know would NEVER admit how much they earn, let alone if they had any debt.

We all seem to be quite good at hiding it. Perhaps they're even overcompensating... you never know.

Flutterby83

I used to be the same, I was ashamed that I'd let myself get into debt twice. However I have a completely different lifestyle - different friends, a new (better money-minded) partner and a different approach to things. The first time my ex got us into trouble, it was very much 'keeping up' with everyone else, he wanted what we couldn't afford without saving but at the time our circle of friends had good jobs and no debt so I couldn't talk about it to anyone. This time, my friends are supportive and my partner is open and honest with me and we have sat down together to work out how to become debt free. One of my closest friends has recently asked for my help and advice with their budgeting as they were scared of going under, if I hadn't have spoke to them about my debt, I'm certain they wouldn't have asked and I'm glad they feel they can (also quite chuffed they think I do a good job with mine too!) Having debt used to be a taboo subject but I don't think it is anymore with the recession and people speaking out about how having debt, or struggling with debt, isn't a crime.

R_P_W

midlander81 wrote: »

Now that I am on top of our debts I feel happier being more open about owing money. Before I used to avoid debt conversations with colleagues etc for fear of judgement.


Got into a conversation yesterday about money with some workmates ( I should have known better) and admitted that we owed more than 40K at the start of our journey.


One of my colleagues said that she was shocked and that she had never known anyone with that sort of debt level.


I tried to explain that it is a lot but relatively it's payable ( we have a joint salary of almost 70K).


This got me thinking... is a 40K debt REALLY that unusual these days? I mean, we are normal people and we managed it! I know that debt is all relative but is 40K on a salary of 70K considered 'shocking'?

Not counting a mortgage, yes 40k debt I think is pretty insane regardless of how much you earn! Not judging but no I wouldn't consider it normal.

Hermia

I would be taken aback if someone said £40k debt.

One thing to bear in mind is that people tend to socialise with similar people and so that sort of amount of debt may be unheard of in your colleague's social circle. I have a colleague who is religious and into living a frugal, modest lifestyle. Given her social circle she would probably fall off her chair at the thought of someone owing £5k! But, I expect debt would be normal amongst other groups.

Monkeyballs

Everyone has their own opinion of what would constitute "crazy" debt, if you ask my Mum (who is 78) what would be a crazy amount with a joint income of £70k she'd likely reply "anything over £2k" LOL

Personally I wouldn't say £40k was insane, that's just (just, lol) £20k each which immediately doen't sound so bad...

Yes it is a lot but the main thing is that you're on top of it and have no intention of going backwards so let people *gasp*, the reality is that they're overcompensating in their reaction when in fact they have £50k of debt on a £45k joint income... One thing guilty feeling debtors tend to do is hide their own shame

MB

theerroll

Perhaps your workmate was taken aback that a couple with a joint income of 70k needed to take on any debt let alone 40grand. I can see why others would think that. I have been im debt myself, I am judging. I know nothing about your situation, but it does seem a little bit like you just wanted to let us all know that you have a high income.

midlander81

Thanks for the posts guys! I agree that it really does depend on individuals view on debt. I suppose there is a possibility that some of my colleagues are in debt too. I know that some of them have some debt but not sure of amounts etc.


I just wish that people would see the overall picture and the fact that it is relative to earnings

theerroll

My post was intended to read 'I am not judging' as opposed to I am judging!

Torry_Quine

This isn't what you want to hear but I do think it's a large amount of debt especially on a large household income. Personally I'd be mortified if I had even a fraction of that amount.

El_Torro

I think £40k worth of debt is very high. Even with an income of £70k that's 57% of your gross annual salary. How long will that take to pay off? More to the point, if you're getting into debt simply to fund your lifestyle what incentive or desire do you have to cut back and start paying the debt off? I'm not surprised that people have a shocked reaction.

Having said all that though, what does it matter how people react to your level of debt? What matters is whether you feel it is a comfortable and manageable amount.