Daydream fund challenge part 4

DawnW

So sorry to hear this Alfie. Love to you and your family.

Davesnave

Alfie, no matter how prepared you are, it still comes as an awful shock.

From your accounts on here, your Dad bore the medical burdens of advancing age bravely and with good humour, just like mine did till the dementia took hold.

You and Mum will be able to remember Dad as himself, with his cheerfulness and dignity intact. Maybe that won't seem much consolation right now, but I'm sure Dad would have wanted to pass before he lost those things that made him so special to you both.

Love and hugs xx

alfie_1

good job I didn't have any mascara on after reading that !
I know it was a release for both him and mum in a way.
he was such a good dad. my lasting image will be of him marching up my path with an axe and a barrow every time I had a log delivery ... HIS DOMAIN ... he chopped and stacked with naval precision.
also the bonfires were HIS. he could light a wet sodden pile..never knew how !
he covered my butt many a time with mum when I snuck in another animal.... between us we would concoct a sob story that meant she couldn't possibly tell me off ....
picking me and my mates up as teenagers rather than the bus to get home after a drink...or two ! although I do think it was more him knowing WHERE we were !
always there for me and son..
always asking "you alright for money? " even up to the end ...


will leave a big hole but at least these memories will out live me ...


x x x x x x

ukmaggie45

Very sorry to hear about your Dad dear Alfie. Even when you're expecting it the reality comes as a shock. I know that you will be taking wonderful care of your Mum and looking after her in every way you can. Please look after yourself too - it can be very easy to get caught up in all the practicalities and then not manage to care for oneself.

When we were going through this with my parents, OH and I found one of the best ways to keep going was to watch out for really bad jokes, especially inappropriate ones. Sheer belly laughs are great for stress relief!

Hugs from wild wet and windy Bwlchtocyn. :grouphug:

lucielle

My thoughts are with you and your family Alfie. xx
L

pink_poppy

So sorry to read about your dear Dad, alfie xx

alfie_1

hi all
well the paper work has started [sorry if that sounds cold ]
mum is doing brilliant and ive just spent the morning ringing people, organising appointments etc and have sorted 80%. of it with her.


the usual "fanily" issues have raised their ugly heads but mum put her foot down and as ive said it IS up to mum.


sat and watched highlights of Edinburgh tattoo last night [dads fav] and of course bawled my eyes out .
hes from the borders so we are having him piped in on the day.


im off with friend taking her to her house in sussex tomorrow so will be able to take a break and ....breath.


after the non stop rain sunday ,yesterday and today have been cooler but dry


take care peeps xx

choille

Alfie - I am so sorry. You have been such a good daughter - you ARE such a good daughter.

All the best to you & your Mum. Look after yourself & good to hear you are getting away for a while. Thinking of you.

Fay

I'm so sorry for your loss Alfie xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My condolences, Alfie.


Had an unscheduled stay on the Moors in the end. Did Beautiful Days as usual, managed to get off site early on clean up day by working until about 2am getting the equipment lifted, no problems with the train, got to the pub just a hundred yards from the beautiful Georgian apartment Himself had rented for two nights as a romantic surprise, sat down with my G&T - and a text message came through.

FIL had been found after at least 3 days laying on the floor of his flat, having had a stroke.

We saw the inside of the beautiful Georgian apartment for just long enough to hurl our packs in through the door and we were off to the hospital.

However, despite his general stubbornness/anti doctor sentiment (and the fact that I do rather a good line in relentless chirpiness, combined with a side of don't be so bloody daft and stop refusing treatment or you'll never get out of here), they've decided he isn't at immediate risk of another, his movements are coming back and whilst he's losing some words, making him talk - and argue - with me and not give up means he's now waiting on a rehab bed.

I know the way I talk to him probably sounds a bit mean, especially as it involves looking for the most inappropriate humour - his initial goal for physio was ostensibly to lift his arm and leg, but I've renamed it 'so, how'd the physio go today? You on for the Full Dr Strangelove move yet?' And, for somebody who is always in control, has an answer for everything and never, ever admits to weakness or appreciation for others, he admitted to crying when he moved his leg for the first time and whispered thank you to me twice.

Anyhow, Himself is staying down there for the foreseeable future whilst I'm back up here for work next week. Which will be very strange - and as FIL's flat is hopelessly unsuited to somebody using a wheelchair or stick, both of which are likely outcomes, it's quite possible that this could end up with a move; depending upon the level of care he needs (and whether he has any more strokes, as he's had at least two over the last couple of months now), he might end up renting an accessible property large enough for us to ship down.