Can people ever just move on?

Worry_Wart

I was in a perfectly happy relationship for a year with my boyfriend who "pretty much" lived with me (ie was there all the time but not officially. When he finally moved in properly and started paying bills we argued loads, thought about splitting up, argued more, then started to discuss properly our gripes and see things from the others point of view. It's been rosy for a good while now. Once this rough patch with her dad goes by, sit down and try and work through both your grievances and try to get some tolerance and understanding of the others POV. If that doesn't work, split up. Better to cut your losses early on than keep flogging a dead horse.

tazzyb

I have to agree for you to go off the day she moved in was out of order. You really should have been there to help her move in.

Also why agree to a holiday if you could not afford it. Then when you did you know it needed to be paid for. You really should have tried your hardest to do extra hours at work, or sell some stuff you do not use any more to raise the cash.

Regarding your complaints about how things are now her father is ill. Get over yourself. She will be sick with worry. It is your job to be the strong one and be there for her and ignore the fact she might not be nice to you.

Even if she says stay home or I do not need you to come to the hospital offer to go any way. And if you do go and have to sit in the waiting room while the family are around the bed so! You are there to support her not her dad.

If you were my partner I have to say I would feel let down. You need to suck it up while her father is ill. Then when he is better sit down and have a heart to heart and sort things out. But first you need to realise you are not the one in the right here and you have some making up to do.

Kayalana99

There are two sides to every story, and I think people are realising that OP has not been a saint...but I have been the other end of emotional abuse and I know in my situation I made one mistake and it was held against me constantly..brought up 100 times over..it's OK to make mistakes. It's OK to make bad decisions. It's OK not to be perfect.

If you hurt someone with a bad decision you apologies, you talk it over you move on, you don't bring it up 2 weeks later because you're annoyed at them or in a bad mood~ if you had cheated on her or done something intentionally malicious, it's not that easy yes, but for the small stuff if someone is holding that over your head it's only because they are looking for a reason to fight you and bring you down.

I'm not saying this is what is happening to you, but my two cents as we can't know the full story from a few posts.

seven-day-weekend

You do come over as a bit thoughtless. You should have helped her the day she moved in, what were you thinking of going off and doing something else, as though her moving in was less important than your sister's wedding rings?

You must have known in advance how much you had to pay for the holiday and should have saved it up.

You should go with her to the hospital, it doesn't matter if you feel like an outsider, it is not about you, it's about being a support for your partner.

I note in one of your posts you are complaining because she came home after visiting her father and there were no kisses or cuddles. What? Do you seriously expect this when she is so worried about her father?

She probably thinks you don't care about her. I would. You seem so offhand.