Feeling unwanted

FBaby

peachyprice wrote: »

He's already told her that he doesn't, What more is he supposed to do?

Give her an inkling whether he might do in the near future? There's a difference between 'I do want a relationship, but not right at this moment, maybe in a few months after I've sorted my finances/got a job/stopped caring for my sister. I love you and I do see myself with you in the future' and ' I don't want a relationship now and to be honest, not sure I ever will. You're a great girl, I like your company, but serious relationships are not for me/I am not sure you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with'.

In the first instance, in OP's shoes, I might consider being patient a bit longer. In the latter, it would bye bye.

j.e.j.

BigAunty wrote: »

He's getting company, friendship and s*x so what else does he need from it?

Are you saying he's not going to buy a book when there's a thriving lending library in the town?

Brighton_belle

Freckles2 wrote: »

The only problem is he keeps saying that he is not ready for us to be a 'couple' or anything serious.

He still says that he is not ready for a relationship though.

Freckles2 wrote: »

Thankfully we are more than just friends with benefits.

If he doesn't think you are in a relationship, surely he must just consider you a FWB?
I'm afraid I'm in the 'he's just not that into you' camp, after 9 months of sleeping with you but refusing to call you his girlfriend.
At 32 you haven't really got a few years to fritter away if you want children in your future. Yes we all know of women who have kids in their 40's, but fertility starts dropping for many women at 35.
He' entirely free not to commit to you of course: he is being very upfront about his lack of desire to commit to you, so he is not deceiving you: it's you I'm afraid who needs to make choices with your eyes wide open. Not easy when you are attracted to someone.

justme111

Impossible to advise as you already chosen to invest emotionally in him far more than he invested in you.

Peter333

Maybe tell him that you want to finish, as you don't see the relationship going anywhere.

If he agrees, and you finish, it will be upsetting for you, but at least you'll know he cares very little for you.

And if he does care for you (and maybe he does!!!) he will say 'NO, I don't want it to end,' and it may give him a kick up the bum, and make him sit up and take notice of you, and not take you for granted.

19lottie82

Cards on the table, if he liked you enough, then he would be "ready" for a relationship. Also if you're "meeting up" with him twice a week then he's having his cake and eating it. Nine months? Do yourself a favour and get rid. He's using you.

Blackpool_Saver

This is not going well, move on.

System

Thankfully we are more than just friends with benefits.

But you are just that. Your not in a committed relationship because he wont commit to you. Your having sex with him and he's got no strings sex. Nothing wrong with that I suppose if your both singing from the same music sheet but your not are you because you want more.

Don't forget, your not asking him to marry you, just to admit to the fact your in a relationship.

jaylee3

I totally agree with Judi's post. ^^^

Also, why is that when people (women usually,) post on here with their issues, and their complaints about their man; they start to get defensive of them when people start saying anything negative about them?

They come up with a load of complaints and gripes, and then people don't seem to say what they want to hear, so they start to defend their partner then. Really strange LOL.

This guy that the OP is on about is SO using her for a booty call. Nine months and he doesn't want to say they're a couple. Bin him!

System

OP how would he react if you told him you were going out on a date with another man? The fact is you wouldn't go would you even though your 'not in a relationship' because you don't want to spoil what you have with him (which is actually very little).

OP how would you react if he told you he was going on a date with another woman? You would be heartbroken wouldn't you? The fact is, in his head he could do just this because he said he wanted to be just friends with you.

Like I said, friends with benefits could work if your both singing from the same hymn sheet, but your not.