Struggling to move on :-(

Cyberman60

You'll get over it. As you get older you'll realise that relationships are not all they are cracked up to be, learn to be happy in your own company, and retire early like me. Good Luck !!

jaylee3

I'm sorry it ended so badly for you Vodka Chick. But as someone said earlier; from previous threads, it sounds like your ex didn't treat you very well anyway. Especially as he wouldn't let you meet his children for a long time into the relationship (not sure if he ever did.)

I think you are worthy of more than the lacklustre way that he treated you.

As I remember, you posted about his negative qualities and then defended him quite quickly when someone said he was a loser and was no good for you. So I think he got under your skin quite deeply.

I hope you manage to move on soon, but as I said, from your previous threads; this guy sounded like he was a bit of a douche anyway. I wonder if he will let his new bird meet his kids?!

I hope you will be happy one day, soon.

pickledonionspaceraider

VestanPance wrote: »

You learnt a valuable lesson. You can't trust anyone, so never be stupid enough to do so again.

This, is a prime example of someone who has not moved on. VP, you are carrying bitterness and anger with you. This is not healthy for you long term

The only person you hurt with this, is yourself and I hope you do find some peace in your hurting heart

There are people worth trusting, it is just that you have invested your trust in the wrong people.

Open your heart to love again, the trust will be built up - with the right person

justme111

VestanPance wrote: »

You learnt a valuable lesson. You can't trust anyone, so never be stupid enough to do so again.

Relationships come and go , people separate for different reasons , its not as if they were betraying each other when they separate , relationships stop working . It hurts but it does not necessarily mean either of the parties done something wrong. Each one of us makes a choice whether to risk going into relationship knowing it may end or stay solo , both choices valid . You made yours , does not mean it is right for everybody else. In fact your choice is illogical and dictated by pain , as if a person who once been burnt by milk vouwed never to drink anything again.

vodkachick68

Thanks to you all for replying to my thread,I do feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one going through this cr*p!

I just keep thinking of all the times he was an arrogant sod towards me and all the times I put up with everything being on his terms and him controlling the relationship how he wanted it. I am very slowly starting to like my own company and doing what I want when I want. The new floozie is welcome to him and he will treat her exactly the same once the honeymoon period is over!!

Anyway it's time to start thinking of me and look after number one,I've lost a bit of weight which is good even though I've just scoffed a load of dairy milk with daim bar yummy!!

I know I will get through this and it really does help that I can have a vent on here lol :-)

System

Hey vodkachick, if i remember i think me and my ex split around the same time you and your did, sorry to hear you are stilll struggling but i awnt you to know, it can get better.

I was pretty much broken for the first few weeks (to the point my GP signed me off work) so i do empathise, what helped me was realising it was over for good, i think before that point a part of me still wanted him back. But i realized that brooding over it and focusing on it wasn't helping. So i threw myself back into work, and started trying to spend more time with friends and gradually it has gotten easier. I know its hard to see him moving on, but i hope that you can see that he really didnt treat you well, and that you deserve better and even if he appears happy with the new woman, he'll probably revert to past behaviours, but at least its not you has has to endure that now.

I won't go down the whole "you'll meet someone else" route as though you probably will, you're probably not ready for that yet. You need to make sure you're 100% ok with yourself first and there's no rush.

Just want you to now i'm thinking about you *hugs*

justme111

Op , can you reply a question - I honestly don't understand it. Why are you upset about relationship ending if he treated you badly ? Could it be that it is not the.end of relationship but regret and humiliation of putting up with cr.p and not being good enough that burns you ?
And a suggestion - if you ask yourself why did you put up with being treated badly something in you may change. So you are not going to go through the same in the future because you would have said "no thanks " to someone like him pretty quick.

vodkachick68

justme111 wrote: »

Op , can you reply a question - I honestly don't understand it. Why are you upset about relationship ending if he treated you badly ? Could it be that it is not the.end of relationship but regret and humiliation of putting up with cr.p and not being good enough that burns you ?
And a suggestion - if you ask yourself why did you put up with being treated badly something in you may change. So you are not going to go through the same in the future because you would have said "no thanks " to someone like him pretty quick.[

I'm upset because I loved him! Or i thought i did. Now I'm out of it I can see things differently. He strung me along saying he wanted a future with me when obviously he has commitment issues going on.

And yes I do feel like I wasn't good enough for him and yes I do feel humiliated but when your in the relationship you have tunnel vision. Never again will any man walk over me or control me,that's if I can be bothered to even go there again!!

Calien

I was the "dumpee" in January/February this year, we weren't together long but I loved him and I thought he loved me.

One day he decided to just ditch me, no explanation, no nothing he just dropped off the face of the earth. We talked briefly in May and I got a semi explanation, before that I'd been torturing myself over what happened.

I honestly thought I was going to be stuck in that cycle of pain and anger, but here I am now and I'm ok, it became less over time and he doesn't consume my every thought.

As horrible as the feelings are you have to ride it out because it does get better and easier with time

FBaby

Op , can you reply a question - I honestly don't understand it. Why are you upset about relationship ending if he treated you badly ? Could it be that it is not the.end of relationship but regret and humiliation of putting up with cr.p and not being good enough that burns you ?

Maybe because it wasn't all bad, because OP even if treated badly in terms of commitment did have some great times, fun, excitment etc... with this man. Because it is upsetting to invest a lot of time, energy and emotions into something and get no return in the future. Because OP probably had dreams and these are now non existant, and she faces the fear that she might never had the chance again.

When I separated from my ex, it was a relief, but I was still upset that we had failed to make it work.