Who owns this money again?

Mojisola

Kitty777 wrote: »

I have been told by a few people, that I could get hit by a bus one day and then my savings are useless (well, they are not..but to me they are).

Well, they aren't because they will pay for your funeral!

But it's no good becoming a miser - everyone needs a balance in their lives. If you don't want to go to the places your BF is suggesting, find some cheaper outings to go on so that you have experiences and build up memories together while still managing to save.

Indie_Kid

Within your budget, I think you need to budget for fun things, such as meals out.

Having savings is sensible. But at the same time, you should also have money to enjoy yourself.

Errata

Kitty777 wrote: »

When we go on long trips (100 miles etc) he pays half petrol costs, and pays for parking/buys me a drink if it is shorter journeys. He has also helped me with a few car maintenance things free of charge that could of cost me £10-£100 at a garage. But only 2-3 times

OK - he pays half the petrol on long trips, parking charges and funded a couple of things in four years. He has a car at his disposal and convenience which costs you "how much" each week to keep on the road?

fannyadams

OMG Kitty you could be me!
For me, I do have about three months salary saved up so that if anything happens we're covered. I get very twitchy when I have to use it (i.e. when I am unempolyed). Plus I have a very similar back ground to you.
I then try to save about another one month on top of that for our annual holiday each year. The rest of it is swallowed up with childcare/food/bills so we do live near the breadline a lot of the time.
it's Ok to have a saving cushion so that if anything goes wrong, you break your leg/have to be off work for a while/the car breaks/washing machine breaks/something else expensive breaks you can go out and buy a replacement (after researching the best price) with the savings. It's a nice feeling to know you can pay these things off without finance.
You're doing great, but remember "Don't get so caught up making a living that you forget to make a life"

Any

I think even you think it is a little obsessive.
There is nothing wrong to save for savings (security net) sake.. but if you obsessively rather live on the breadline just so you can squirel more away that is... well obsessive.

Why not put just a set amount into savings every month, at the beginning, and have the rest to do stuff? You are still saving, but also living..
And once that run out, you say stop. No I can't. But it will be only after you did somethi g, eat something nice, seen something interesting. Not "taken money out of the savings" as you see it now.
There needs to be a balance!!

1DayAAT

If its of any comfort, I used to be SO much like you.
In my late teens and early twenties I was working really hard, long hours and obsessively saving almost everything, and could save a lot due to living at home. But it dawned on me one day that I had ZERO quality of life. I was not going anywhere, doing anything, seeing anyone, enjoying time off - nothing. All to have a figure sitting there in savings that made me feel 'secure'.

Needless to say there are hidden issues behind this behaviour which I think you are aware of having mentioned your childhood/issues with money back then.

The thing that changed me was that my life moved on and I met my OH and eventually I went a little too far the other way - DEBT! But I am now back on the even keel and the temptation now is to over-save again but the best advice is that little bit of money you allow yourself every month for FUN.. say.. £50 you draw out in cash.. and then you won't feel guilt as that is the budget for fun, whatever you do with it , drinks, a meal, cinema, coffee, whatever the case may be.. and if you don't use it, carry it over to the next month and just top it up I make a big effort to let myself have the small things now as we have to live for today (within reason) and enjoy things when we can, with the people we love - that is very important and sometimes more so than a figure sitting in a bank.

Person_one

It is important to have 'rainy day' savings. Nobody ever knows what's around the corner, and it's very sensible to have an emergency fund in case you lose your job, your car dies, your roof falls in, your cat needs surgery, your best friend needs bailing out of prison in Dubai, all the random expenses life can throw at you with no warning!

Everybody's right that you need to live a little too though. If you see your savings as a bill, then maybe you could start to see your 'fun money' the same way? What percentage of your earnings are you putting away every month and what percentage goes on essentials?

A relative of mine used to recommend a third on essentials, a third into savings, and a third to spend. That's not possible for lots of people due to needing to use far more than a third on essentials, but if it is possible then it seems like a good balance to me!

DUTR

Kitty777 wrote: »

I pay money into my savings account, the day I get paid. Almost like a bill paying to myself. So I don't need to, but it will cut down the money I pay into my savings that month, if that makes sense?

Don't you have a pocket money account too?
Like you I save on pay day, but another account gets my pocket money that I use for meals out cigs or whatever, during the month, if I say I have no money, it only means I have no pocket money.

mgdavid

Kitty777 wrote: »

I am going to discuss these things with my partner tomorrow...
I am sorry if I misled you all, this is such a good forum and I guess I just needed a rant/someone to talk too.

Funny thing is, I don't have any high interest accounts for my savings. I may put some in an ISA or something and the rest for...me

ISA probably not a good idea - there's much better rates in high interest current accounts, 3% - 4% - 5% for instance. Go across to the Savings & Investments board for all the best accounts info.
The general advice from the prudent is one should have 6 months' basic living expenses put by in reasonably accessible cash, after that start thinking about ISAs or paying more into your pension.
And although I don't disagree with advice to live a little, just remember you are coming from a far better place than the spendthrift and fe ckless.

burnoutbabe

There needs to be some budget for going out and socialising? So draw up your budget and put what seems reasonable to spend going out into it? Say £100 a month which would be a night out every week.

Now if you are saving only £100 per month, then spending that much on going out doesn't seem sensible, but if its £500 saved then it may well be.

You can still do the spending on a budget - suggest places yourself with 2 for 1 vouchers/use vouchercloud to see who has discounts nearby. And you pay for those nights and him for the ones he wants to go to.