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Red_roses

Please delete this message

jaylee3

Don't worry. She will be back for reading week, (early November usually) then you have the internet (skype etc,) and facebook and texting, and your job and your toddler to keep you busy...

Then before you know it, your daughter will be back. And then a few weeks later back for Christmas.

Then she goes back for New year, and before you know it, it will be Easter, and then she will have finished her first year in no time, and be back for 2 months for summer!

Red_roses

Sorry to have caused offence with my choice of words. Just thought that someone else might have been through a similar experience. Not to worry I'll delete the post and leave the forum.

purpleshoes_2

Red_roses wrote: »

Sorry to have caused offence with my choice of words. Just thought that someone else might have been through a similar experience. Not to worry I'll delete the post and leave the forum.

Im sure they have been, but posting as late in the evening as this, you'll get more responses during the day.

I remember my mum crying when I went to uni, she got over it and we are still very close, its not the end of the world.

Red_roses

Ok I get it. I'm trying to delete the post

CH27

suelizab wrote: »

lots of ppl have and are feeling rotten cos their kids are off to uni and often, when they have completed their 3 years, move in with friends and don't live at home again. Lots of single mums n dads are now on their own looking at the four walls in silence . but we move on. the kids visit, bring their dirty washing back, ask for money. they become more our friends . But they r still alive, u r still gonna see them again.

Then maybe a little sympathy for the OP wouldn't go amiss.

OP my son went last year. I did miss him but I was so proud of him & excited for his new life it outweighed the sadness.

They are still our children, they still love us & we find a way to make distance work.

jackieblack

I haven't read the OP, it was deleted before I found the thread but got the general gist from subsequent posts.

This time next week we'll be in the car taking DD off to Uni.
I am so proud of her, she has worked very hard to get a place at her first choice Uni on a very competitive course that will give her a professional qualification (as well as a degree) for a career that she is passionate about and which will be perfect for her. I couldn't be happier for her or more proud of her
But, my goodness, I'm going to miss her terribly.

But this is what we do, this is our job as parents. We raise them to go out into the world and be happy and productive adults. We want the best for them.

And we have facetime/skype etc and this term is only 10 weeks.

We'll probably visit at some point (after a few weeks) to bring home some of the mountain of things she thinks she needs to take but will probably be tripping over and have no room for once she's unpacked

Of course we're going to miss her, but this is a great thing for her, and we will adjust and look forward to having her home for Christmas

lulu_92

jackieblack wrote: »

I haven't read the OP, it was deleted before I found the thread but got the general gist from subsequent posts.

This time next week we'll be in the car taking DD off to Uni.
I am so proud of her, she has worked very hard to get a place at her first choice Uni on a very competitive course that will give her a professional qualification (as well as a degree) for a career that she is passionate about and which will be perfect for her. I couldn't be happier for her or more proud of her
But, my goodness, I'm going to miss her terribly.

But this is what we do, this is our job as parents. We raise them to go out into the world and be happy and productive adults. We want the best for them.

And we have facetime/skype etc and this term is only 10 weeks.

We'll probably visit at some point (after a few weeks) to bring home some of the mountain of things she thinks she needs to take but will probably be tripping over and have no room for once she's unpacked

Of course we're going to miss her, but this is a great thing for her, and we will adjust and look forward to having her home for Christmas

I didn't read the OP either and from the daughter's point of view, I can tell you it's going to be hard for both of you. I was okay for the first few days when I moved into my student house as so much was going on. I didn't text home simply because I was having so much fun and it slipped my mind. She will miss you and you will get phonecalls saying she wants to come home cos she misses you but both of you will work through it and get used to the idea. I moved out in 2011 and never looked back. Now I live with my OH and only go back for 2 days at Christmas (which this might be the last year I do that).

For me it helped that my mum went on holiday to Hong Kong when I'd been at uni for about a month so I couldn't ring her easily or cheaply so I made peace with it and got on with uni stuff. I'm fairly independent anyway and always have been. In fact, I think I miss my mum more now than when I was at uni, and I only live 5 miles away from her now!

You will be absolutely fine. Get a hobby, join, a group, make her a care package and send it in the post so she has something to look forward to and you will have loads of fun finding stuff to send her

jackieblack

lulu_92 wrote: »

I didn't read the OP either and from the daughter's point of view, I can tell you it's going to be hard for both of you. I was okay for the first few days when I moved into my student house as so much was going on. I didn't text home simply because I was having so much fun and it slipped my mind. She will miss you and you will get phonecalls saying she wants to come home cos she misses you but both of you will work through it and get used to the idea. I moved out in 2011 and never looked back. Now I live with my OH and only go back for 2 days at Christmas (which this might be the last year I do that).

For me it helped that my mum went on holiday to Hong Kong when I'd been at uni for about a month so I couldn't ring her easily or cheaply so I made peace with it and got on with uni stuff. I'm fairly independent anyway and always have been. In fact, I think I miss my mum more now than when I was at uni, and I only live 5 miles away from her now!

You will be absolutely fine. Get a hobby, join, a group, make her a care package and send it in the post so she has something to look forward to and you will have loads of fun finding stuff to send her

Thanks Lulu, it's good to get a view from 'the other side', so to speak.

I agree that it will be hard for us both and that she will miss us (and her kitten) too. She went away for 4 days to a Summer School last year and cried on the 'phone to her boyfriend every night because she was homesick, but didn't tell us that until she got home.
Her BF is also going to the same Uni so I'm hoping that will make it a bit easier for her. They're not on the same course, although they are both studying in the same field, but will have each other there for evenings/weekends.

We've booked a trip to Washington DC for half-term week (I work in a school) at the end of October. I knew that I'd find it difficult being on my own at home for a whole week that soon after her going.

I'm not really a 'joiner', but have plenty to keep me busy and I will be fine. I've already got a few things planned to send her over the first few weeks

j.e.j.

Red_roses wrote: »

Sorry to have caused offence with my choice of words. Just thought that someone else might have been through a similar experience. Not to worry I'll delete the post and leave the forum.

January20

suelizab wrote: »

so many mums are feeling sad as their kids go off to uni But, I don't mean to be rude, your heart isn't breaking or even feel like its breaking. That is the perogative (sp) of those mums whose kids are not going cos they have just died or they are fighting cancer .

suelizab wrote: »

lots of ppl have and are feeling rotten cos their kids are off to uni and often, when they have completed their 3 years, move in with friends and don't live at home again. Lots of single mums n dads are now on their own looking at the four walls in silence . but we move on. the kids visit, bring their dirty washing back, ask for money. they become more our friends . But they r still alive, u r still gonna see them again.

Of course it is difficult to comment now the first post has been deleted but I have to take issue with these 2 posts. Yes the OP is lucky that her child is alive and just going to university, that she will see her again but that doesn't mean that her pain is not real and that her heart is not breaking.

It is so condescending to write this kind of posts and I am sick and tired of posters who write that someone's pain/ sorrow is not valid because another person is experiencing something worse. Well, you know what? If you look hard enough, there is always somebody who is worse off than you. Does that mean you have no right to feel what you feel?

I don't know why you wrote those posts suelizab - and I don't want to know - but this is not a thread about parents who have lost their children to cancers or any other dreadful illness. It is about a poster who will miss their child as they go away to university and was looking for a little support and compassion! Is that so difficult to offer?